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(and those who forget what having a cat indoors is sometimes like)
Artist: Phoebe Buffay Lyrics Song: Smelly Cat Medley Lyrics Three, four...
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat It's not your fault
They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favorite pet Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault
You may not be a bed of roses You're not friend to those with noses I'll miss you before we're done Or the world will smell as one
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat It's not your fault
(Phoebe) Oh are we done?
One, two, what's that smell?
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat You're getting fat
I think that I'm gonna be sick It's your ears, and nose and pick Part of it, tempt me
One, two, what's that smell?
All the dogs in the neighborhood Are saying this for your own good What, you're fat, so you can't run No fun, I bet, No fun
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, Porno makes you eat like that I saw you in the shopping mall
Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault, Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault
We know what was in your food They say it might affect your mood
You smell like something dead (3x)
One, two, what's that smell?
(Phoebe)Yeah, that's not the song
Is this next bit of posting against the rules? Seems each is less than four paragraphs!
Phoebe's songs
from episode 1.01 (extended version) Your Love Love is sweet as summer showers Love is a wondrous work of art But your love, oh your love, Your love is like a giant pigeon Crapping on my heart. La la la la la... from episode 1.07 No power New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy. LA la, la LA la, LA la... from episode 1.10 Snowman I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'. How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen? La lalala laaa la lala La lalala la la...
Mother's Ashes My mother's ashes, even her eyelashes, are resting in a little yellow jar. And sometimes, when it's breezy, I feel a little sneezy, and now I... from episode 1.11 My Man You don't have to be awake to be my man. As long as you have brainwaves I'll be there to hold your hand. Though we just met the other day, there's something I have got to say... from episode 1.23 Babies They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch, and soon they'll grow up and resent you so much. Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why, and you cry and you cry and you cry. And you cry and you cry and you cry and you cry...
Trapped in the Hospital Closet And they found their bodies the very next day, they found their bodies the very next day, la la la, la la la, la la la... from episode 2.06 Shower Song I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song Stop me if you've heard it. My skin is soapy, and my hair is wet, and Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget. Lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat and lather, rinse, repeat as needed.
I Play For Me When I play, I play for me I don't need your charity La lalala lalalalalalala lalala lalala lalalalalalala....
Double-Jointed Boy ...was the double, double, double-jointed boy.
Stephanie Stephanie... knows all the chords.
Terry Terry's a jerk! And he won't let me work! And I hate Central Perk! You're all invited to bite me!
Smelly Cat (incomplete version) Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault. from episode 2.08 Two of Them Kissed Last Night There was a girl, we'll call her Betty And a guy, let's call him Neil Now I can't stress this point too strongly... This story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside? Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call... Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide! from episode 2.12 Grandma Now, Grandma's a person who everyone likes, She bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, But the truth is she died and some day you will too. Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La Lalala LAlalala LAlalala LAlalala La La La La
Another Thing You Don't Wanna Do There'll be times when you get older When you'll want to sleep with people Just to make them like you But don't. 'Cause that's another thing That you don't wanna do Everybody! That's another thing That you don't wanna do.
The Cow in the Meadow Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Now, chickens!
Sometimes Sometimes men love women Sometimes men love men, And then there are bisexuals Though some just say they're kidding themselves. La lalala lalalalala la La la lalala lala la la from episode 2.17 Smelly Cat (longest version Phoebe ever did in coffee house) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet. You're obviously not their favorite pet. It may not be a bed of roses. And you're no friend to those with noses.
Smelly Cat (video version, uncut video on Season 2 DVD, special features) NOTE: To see this video, take the quiz in the Season 2, disk 4 special features, "How well do you know your Friends," or just go to title 27.
Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. Smelly smelly smelly really bad smelling smelly cat it's not your fault!] Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. They won't take you to the vet. You're obviously not their favorite pet. Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. Oh no! It may not be a bed of roses. You're no friend to those with noses. I promise you, before we're done all the world will smell as one. Smelly smelly smelly really bad smelling smelly cat] What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault. from episode 2.18 Crusty Old Man And a crusty old man said, "I'll do what I can," and the rest of the rats played moroccas. from episode 3.14 Sticky Shoes (sung with Leslie) My favorite shoes, so good to me, I wear them everyday. Down at the heel, holes in the toes, don't care what people say. My feet's best friends, pals to the end, with them I'm one hot chicky. Though late one night, not much light, I stepped in something icky. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, always make me smile. Sticky shoes, sticky shoes, next time I'll avoid the pile.
Jingle Bitch Jingle Bitch screwed me over! Go to hell Jingle Whore! Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell-hell-hell. from episode 3.23 Crazy Underwear Crazy underwear, creepin' up my butt. Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy underwear.... from episode 4.01 Colors ...and fuchsia and mauve. Those are the 66 colors of my bedroom. from episode 4.02 Dumb, Drunken Bitch ...dumb, drunken bitch! from episode 4.05 Sticky Shoes (from Pheobe's phlegmy, sick version) My sticky shoes, my sticky, sticky shoes, why you stick on me... baby.
Goats are Parading Parading, goats are parading; parading down the street. Parading, goats are parading; leaving little treats.
Paper Mache' Man I'm, I'm still waiting for my papier-mache' man. from episode 4.07 Tiny Tarzan Little tiny Tarzan, swinging on an nose hair, swinging with the greatest of ease... from episode 4.10 Holiday Song (first rendition) Happy Hanukkah, Monica. May your Christmas be snowy, Joey. Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the dreidel, Rachel!
Holiday Song (from second rendition) Happy happy Hanukkah, Chandler and Monica. Very merry...
Holiday Song (from final rendition) Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. He said, "all you need is to write them a song." Now you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. So don't sing along. Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey Christmas will be snowy. And Rachel and Chandler, . Happy holidays everybody! from episode 4.12 Fetus Are you in there little fetus? In nine months will you come greet us? I will... buy you some Adidas. from episode 6.03 Ode To a Pubic Hair I found you in my bed! How'd you wind up there? You are a mystery, Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, Little black, little black, Little black curly hair! from episode 6.16 Heart Attacks It only takes two heart attacks to finally make you see. One of them won't do it, but the second one will set you free. Tell all your hate and anger it's time to say good-bye, And that is just what I will do, as soon as those bastards I work for die! La lalala lalalalala la, lalala lalala la la... from episode 7.01 Monica (From extended DVD version of the episode) Twelve years old and addicted to pork, No one thought Monica would marry. She knew her way around a knife and a fork...
Chandler First time I met Chandler I thought he was gay, But here I am singing on his wedding day.
Whenever I Get Married Whenever I get married, guess who won't get to sing? Somebody named Geller and somebody else named Bing!
She Just Stayed and Stayed We thought Phoebe would leave, but she just stayed and stayed. That's right, I'm here all night, and Chandler will never get laid.
Ceremony Who will perform the ceremony? Who will perform the ceremony? from episode 9.19 Argentina And there's a country called Argentina, It's a place I've never seen. But I'm told for 50 pesos, You can buy a human spleen, Human spleen.
The Woman Smelled Like Garbage It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage. Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage.
The Food at Javu (sung to the tune of "Shave and a Haircut.")
The food here at Javu will kill you! The food here at Javu will kill you!
from episode 10.04 Emma's Birthday Song Emma, Your name poses a dilemna, 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma. Maybe the actor Richard Crenna (he played the commanding officer in Rambo) Happy Birthday Emma!
from episode 10.17 Best Day Ever Aahh, aahh, aahh... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes...
Don't Take No Bum bum bum Don't take no for an answer! Bum bum bum Don't let love fly away! Bum bum bum bum bum bum...
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