OH MY GOSH, look what they found in Saddam's beard!

[Hubert Flottz]

Twelve drummers drumming,
Eleven pipers piping,
Ten lords a leaping,
Nine ladies dancing,
Eight maids a milking,
Seven swans a swimming,
Six geese a laying,
Five golden rings,
Four calling birds,
Three French Hens,
Two turtle doves
But they couldn't find the Dubya M Ds

[opihimoimoi]

1. They found Bushies diapers at DEPENDS R US

He so full of it, he leaks.

[Hubert Flottz]

2. Shiftless, Truthless and Toothless in Umerika, a Christmas tale!

What our pResident is telling the kids when he visits schools all over the US, while campaigning at your expense, this week before Xmas!

"pResident's Christmas speech to the lucky children Of America"

"Hello Boys and Girls, did you hear about all those deadly microbes we found when we shaved off Saddam Clause's beard! Well Kids, we found a danged huge, massive and vast, germ warfare sight full of weapons grade bugs, when we shaved off that danged beard of his'n!

Ya See, I told y'all I find those danged WMDs Saddam Clause had hidden in Iraq! We caught that Evil, RED, Little Elf, comin down the danged chimney with his pants down this time! Now let's build a danged fire under his place where the sun don't ever shine and finally be done with it! "Mission Accomplished", so to speak kids!

The point is boys and girls, that you prolly ain't gettin' much in the way of toys and goodys this Christmas, cause of our danged new stimulated rapid growing jobless economy, plus the fact, that we now have Saddam Clause locked up tighter than a cow's arse in fly-times, in a danged undisclosed location somewhere near Langly Virginia!

We're finally goin' to show the world that, Little RED Elves ain't above the danged law, even though me and my good pals at Enron and around Wall street, might be! We're goin' to just say NO to the EVIL ELVES of the world, from here on out!

So Boys and girls, if you don't get nothin' under the tree this year, because of Daddy's not havin' a big important job at War-Mart or Home Despot anymore, just always remember what my Daddy always said about the "Thousand Points O' Lite, when he was our pResident!

You Kids, just go on outside after dark Christmas Eve and look up, at that danged "Thousand Points of Lite", in the sky and think about all the lucky little kids in Umerika, who now get to sleep in the good clean fresh air out under those danged stars every night, since I became your danged pResident, just three short years ago!

Think about those points of lite as my Poppy's only danged gift to all the little Boys and Girls everwhere! Thank those danged lucky stars up there, that your danged pResident gave the greatest gift of all, to the danged CEOs all across Umerika, so that your Mom and Pop could keep all that danged Evil money they don't have now, or never will have ever again!

Thank those lucky stars and never forget that, in on one of the darkest nights in Umerikan history, when I your pRresident went to Iraq with that rubber turkey at great bodily risk to myself and that danged camera man!

I wuz given the greatest gift of all that greatest of all Thanks givin' days, for all Umerikans, from the danged bedraggled boys and girls over there in a Free Iraq, so that we can continue to move forward and not Ever look back, or ask any serious questions about the past three years Ever again!

Those danged Kids in Iraq have give me the best danged speech writer and campaign manager any danged pResident could ever want as a gift, so that I can watch out over you and so that all my best danged friends in America can truly be free to prosper!

Oh Hell Kids, there goes the danged lunch bell, so I really have to move on to my lunch date with my other good friends here in your little town who pay me $2,000 a plate, so that we can all be thankful for those Thousand Points of Lite every danged day and so that we can continue to fix all the dasted things that aren't broken, in this great danged country that we all live in today!

By the way kids, I have a special pResidential Christmas surprise for y'all today! I'm going's to introduce y'all, to someone very special, this danged new pardner, friend and special present that the Iraqi Kids give me, Bob! He's here in our great country now to help me write some bold new speeches for all of Umerika! He is here with me taday to meet you kids!

Our next State of The Union speech, will surely be even better this new year, than that danged one I gave last year, because of those danged brave Iraqi children's gift to us all, so that we can now defeat the truly Evil doers, even if the path to swift and final justice leads to your own dasted Mom and Pop's doorstep!

Those Liberated Iraqi Kid's special gift presented to me and to Umerika, even helped to write this here very danged Christmas speech today, for Y'all! Gawd Bless all you kids and by the way, don't forget to tell Mom and Pop to send lots of danged campaign money so that I can keep us all moving ahead! We always need all the danged money we can get, to fight Terra and Evil! If you kids have any spare change, Bob will be passing a bucket around the room as we are leaving!

Here's Bob now, he's my special Gift From Iraq! Have the Merriest Christmas you can Kids! Gawd Bless y'all Boys and Girls, I Gotta' Run Now! Bob, would ya step up here, so that these here danged Kids can see ya? By By Now!"

See the pResident's special new 'Operation Turkey Day' gift from the liberated shell shocked children of Iraq to Umerika!

[opihimoimoi]

3. My God Man, what the Hell you on boy?? Some strong shit dats fer shure.

Well, them boys and girls gonna get the action doll this Xmas, prolly the 27 cents version. Bob, with most of his clothes missing