Breaking: JonBenet suspect will eat a cheeseburger!

[onehandle]

Journalists are speculating that he may use ketchup And mustard.

Next on CNN: How many napkins will he use?

[Waya]

1. Will he be wanting Fries with that?

[thepurpose]

2. Thanks for the update. We just had a major layoff at my job yesterday

because of our create economy and my bosses brillant business decisions. I was feeling down, but it sure lifts my spirits to know that our crack journalists are still reporting the things that matter to us average Joes.

[Whoa_Nelly]

8. So sorry, thepurpose!

Sure hope you find another job soon...or that one finds you! :hug:

[kenny blankenship]

3. Even more telling: will there be a pickle or no pickle?

[Canuckistanian]

4. OMG this is HUGH!1111

I'm series!

[Lasher]

5. Karr taken into custody at airport, stops with agents at McDonalds

And now for an on the spot report, let's go to Faux Snooze reporter, Geraldo Revera...Geraldo?

Thanks Rush. I'm here at the 7th Street McDonalds, where John Mark Karr, the American primary school teacher suspected of killing child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey a decade ago, has just ordered not only a cheeseburger, but now get this: a full cheeseburger meal! The two federal agents who have Karr in custody have ordered happy meals, and I'm not sure what's going on with that.

But wait, Karr is now being told that he can't have supersized fries. Since he has been out of the country, Karr is unaware that they were phased out at the end of 1994. He's becoming quite agitated and is threatening the manager! The manager just picked up a folding metal chair! I'm going to step in and break this up.

Back to you, Rush.

[Whoa_Nelly]

7. Thanks, Geraldo!

Now folks, as you KNOW the president is keeping our nation safer than it has ever been. We're safer than yesterday! And why are we safer then yesterday? Because we now have John Mark Karr on every camera, every station, every news show...well, every news show that MATTERS!...and ....wait...this just in!

This is a real humdinger, folks! John Mark Karr is a suspected Al-KI-EEEEDA operative! If you think I'm joking, go turn on FOX NEWS! If you think I'm pulling your leg here, go to my website and click on the NEWS button at rushlimpballs.com/newsbutton. My great web people who keep up on EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS already have John Mark Karr's AL-Kay-EEEDUH confession up on the video link.

John Mark Karr is now positively, absolutely associated with that terror-monger, Ned Lamont. Our great guys at the NSAA...that's the National Security Assholes Agency, a great group of guys taking care of OUR NATION AND KEEPING IT SAFE FROM TERROR, for you folks who NEED to KNOW...have transcripts of multiple...that's MULTIPLE! conversations AND emails between Lamont and Karr. Apparently this has been going on since September of 2001. This is HUGH!!!1! I am SERIES, folks! We can trust our president, President BUSH, and my friends at the NSAA, that wiretapping and Internet gathering of IMPORTANT information is keeping our nation safe from attacks on our soil!

Hold on...hold on...yes! We have live feed RIGHT NOW, from the White House Press Room...Tony Fox..Whoa! Heh heh...I mean, Tony SNOW, is about to make an important announcement from our great leader...something about closing borders and the association of that to the Lamont-Karr affair!...

Let's tune in and give this a listen....

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. NOT KOSHER! I call BULLSHIT! This is a ROVE DISTRACTION!!!11!!!!1cos(0)1!!