I worked with a guy who had relations with a cow and was proud of it

[catmandu57]

We were painters, someone had messed up a job at a local car dealer, (Major Cadillac). Jerry never let us forget it, His favorite saying was "I fucked a cow, but I didn't fuck up Major Cadillac".
He would get a wistful far away look in his eyes whenever he talked about the cow.
I bet he voted reptile too.

[swag]

1. I am opposed to human/other species sex

because of the whole consent thing,
and I am in before the lock.

I enjoyed your story very much.

[Orrex]

2. What if the animal takes the initiative?

That would seem to imply consent.

Not that I'm advocating it, mind you. Just asking.

[redqueen]

9. Oh my...

what the hell's going on around here?

[Orrex]

10. As a thought experiment, it's pretty damned messed-up, that's for sure

I'm going to go soak my brain in bleach to cleanse it of this imagery.

[regnaD kciN]

28. Why, the animal was asking for it...!

I mean, going about in public without any clothes on. How else did it expect a red-blooded male to react? :shrug:

Sincerely,
Senator Rick Santorum (R-Barnyard)

[bicentennial_baby]

3. I'm with you on that...

Yep :thumbsup:

[swag]

18. See, one funny thing here is that while I oppose a guy boning without her

consent a cow that will probably hardly notice his little wiener insider her, I gladly eat steaks and hamburgers.

Call me fucked in the head.

[anarch]

4. that's a great catch phrase...dude should have used it as a slogan

You know, for TV ads and stuff...if it was his painting company.

"Call for a free estimate, from Jerry's Painters. Like Jerry says, 'I fucked a cow, but I didn't fuck up Major Cadillac!'"

[catmandu57]

5. jerry was just one of the peons

but it would've made a great slogan.

[ZombieNixon]

6. Gross.

:puke:

[LeftyMom]

7. While I'm freeing people from thier mortal coil, can I add him to the list

What a freak.

[catmandu57]

11. Be my guest

the thing is though this was Kansas City in 1978, I haven't a clue to his whereabouts, to tell you the truth I really don't want one, this damn story and accompying imagery has been stuck on my head for 28 years.

[LeftyMom]

12. Okay then.

I'll just snuff two Rio Linda sheepfuckers (an astonishingly common recreation with drunk shitkickers out there) in his memory. It'd save a hell of a lot of gas anyhow.

[redqueen]

8. What the hell?

[yurbud]

13. what does 'I didn't fuck up Major Cadillac' mean?

[catmandu57]

15. He used to get ragged quite a bit

Jerry wasn't very well liked, he'd run to the boss and snitch people out, it was his standard retort to people bringing up the major Cadilac job, it cost the owner bookoo bucks and almost cost the best painter his job.

[yurbud]

16. oh, I had poorly readed the original post

[yurbud]

14. Are you sure he wasn't talking about a girl from Wisconsin?

[Dangerously Amused]

19. Or a guy from Santa Monica's mother?

[regnaD kciN]

29. In context, maybe he meant...

...he f***ed up a job painting a cow, but not Major Cadillac.

At least, I'm trying to convince myself that that's what he might have meant...

[rug]

17. Did he prefer the cow on top?

[Arugula Latte]

20. Well, sure -- cow love. That's perfectly normal.

With sheep -- well, that's just sick.

;)

[ForrestGump]

21. Well, what are your thoughts on

Muskrat Love?

[Arugula Latte]

24. As they say with that, "anything goes."

Case in point:

"...Rubbin' her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
As they wriggle, and Sue starts to giggle

And they whirled and they twirled and they tangoed
Singin' and jingin' the jango
Floatin' like the heavens above
It looks like muskrat love"

[Dangerously Amused]

22. Thanks for sharing.

:puke:

[idgiehkt]

23. I bet the cow hardly noticed.

not that I even want to be thinking about it, but having worked for large animal vets... I highly doubt he made much of an impression, lol.

[NMMNG]

25. Ewwwww

[uncle ray]

26. would "fisting" count as relations?

cause if it does, then i know a few guys who have had relations with cows...of course, they were vets and the cows were pregnant, but...

[gr8dane_daddy]

27. Anybody remember the fella who died...

from having "relationships" with a horse...hint: he was the catcher?

[regnaD kciN]

30. Unfortunately, too well...

It happened in a farming community about twelve miles south of here. That town already has a reputation in the minds of Seattle residents of being a home for inbred rednecks (not true at all, from the many people I know there), and this incident certainly didn't lessen it.

One interesting note is that this forced the legislature, 116 years after Washington became a state, to pass a bill outlawing sex with animals. Why no such law before? Apparently, no one in the early days of the legislature imagined that such behavior could take place, and everyone thereafter assumed it had already been banned.

[Ediacara]

31. Locking

Please don't harm the livestock with forbidden sex threads.