The Return of the Giant Hogweed

[XNASA]

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chicago/chi-0608170121aug17,1,3442290.story?coll=chi-newslocalchicago-hed

----As an infestation of towering, noxious weeds slowly weaves westward from Ohio and Pennsylvania, officials in Illinois figured it could be years before the outbreak touches state soil.

The Morton Arboretum in Lisle, one of the area's most admired botanical tourist attractions, also confirmed that it has been battling the weed on its grounds for about two years. And a homeowner in Elmwood Park said he fears his yard has several hogweed plants, which are known for causing burns and bubbly blisters on people who come into contact with the plants' sappy juice.

Hogweed's poisonous sap is lodged in the stems, and it can cause painful blisters, itching and scarring when exposed to skin and sunlight.

"I never knew what it was," Clifford Jensen of Elmwood Park said after reading a report in the Tribune Sunday that detailed the widespread outbreak in the Northeast. "Now that I know, I need to figure out who to call."---

Peter Gabriel could not be reached for comment.

[Squeech]

1. Imagine my surprise

to discover that that song was factual. They even got the Linnaean classification correct!

I went out to see some local goth last night, and ended up singing "Seven Stones" to the only woman in the room that *wasn't* wearing way too much eye makeup.

Now I wanna start a band. For the 497th time.

[unpossibles]

2. hahaa.... awesome. I love that album

Turn and run!
Nothing can stop them,
Around every river and canal their power is growing.
Stamp them out!
We must destroy them,
They infiltrate each city with their thick dark warning odour.

They are invincible,
They seem immune to all our herbicidal battering.

Long ago in the russian hills,
A victorian explorer found the regal hogweed by a marsh,
He captured it and brought it home.
Botanical creature stirs, seeking revenge.
Royal beast did not forget.
He came home to london,
And made a present of the hogweed to the royal gardens at kew.

Waste no time!
They are approaching.
Hurry now, we must protect ourselves and find some shelter
Strike by night!
They are defenceless.
They all need the sun to photosensitize their venom.

Still theyre invincible,
Still theyre immune to all our herbicidal battering.

Fashionable country gentlemen had some cultivated wild gardens,
In which they innocently planted the giant hogweed throughout the land.
Botanical creature stirs, seeking revenge.
Royal beast did not forget.
Soon they escaped, spreading their seed,
Preparing for an onslaught, threatening the human race.

The dance of the giant hogweed

Mighty hogweed is avenged.
Human bodies soon will know our anger.
Kill them with your hogweed hairs
Heracleum mantegazziani

Giant hogweed lives

[Tyrone Slothrop]

3. Strike by night!

They are defenceless.
They all need the sun to photosensitize their venom.

Still they're invincible,
Still they're immune to all our herbicidal battering.