Rewrite your favorite literature - SNAKES ON A PLANE style!

[derby378]

Shakespeare, Chaucer, Hunter S. Thompson, it matters not to me! Why not live life the Samuel L. Jackson way? Huh? Why not?

From the Bible, namely one of Paul's epistles:

O death, where is thy motherfuckin' sting?
O grave, where is thy motherfuckin' victory?

[derby378]

1. What, no takers?

Come on!! It's Friday, already!

[Deep13]

2. No one would have believed...

...that in the last years of the mutha-fuckin' century that this mutha-fuckin' world was being watched keenly and closely by legless reptiles greater than man and yet as mortal as himself.

[dannofoot]

3. "It was the best of motherfuckin' times,

It was the worst of motherfuckin' times.
And there wasn''t a Got-damn thing we could do about it!

[derby378]

4. And now, for the Shakespeare fans...

Samuel L. Jackson as Juliet:

O, happy dagger! Here is thy motherfuckin' sheath! There rest, and let me motherfuckin' die, God dammit!

[LanternWaste]

5. We few. We happy mutherfukkin' few.

"We few. We happy mutherfukkin' few.
For he that gets his ass whuuped with me this day shall be my bro'.
Be he ne'er so vile, this day shall jack him up with me.
And gentlemen in England now abed
shall think themselves accursed they were not here
and hold their goddamed manhoods cheap whilst
any speaks who fought muther-fucking snakes on a plane.

Bitch..."

(I think I just cursed more just now than I have in the past year...)

[SteppingRazor]

6. Here's your Hunter Thompson...

The opening line of "Fear and Motherfuckin' Loathing of Snakes in Motherfuckin' Las Vegas":



"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert, when the snakes began to take hold..."

[sarge43]

7. To motherfuckin' be or not to motherfuckin' be,

that's the motherfuckin' question.

[RedCloud]

8. Cervantes...

El coño 'e madre Sancho Panza...

[Zomby Woof]

9. Runaways on a Raft!

aka "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn".

[Orrex]

10. A classic!

Hwæt, motherfuckers! We motherfuckin' Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða motherfuckin' æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
monegum mægþum, motherfuckin' meodosetla ofteah,
egsode motherfuckin' eorlas. Syððan ærest wearð
Motherfuckin' feasceaft funden, he þæs frofre gebad,
weox under wolcnum, weorðmyndum þah,
oðþæt him æghwylc þara ymbsittendra
ofer motherfuckin' hronrade hyran scolde,
gomban gyldan. þæt wæs god motherfuckin' cyning!

[Hand]

11. Stately, plump...

muthafuckin' Buck Mulligan... :rofl:

[BushHeckler]

12. I've had it with these motherfuckin' capulets

in my motherfuckin verona

[derby378]

13. Lest we forget - Darth Vader

Commander, tear this motherfuckin' ship apart until you've found me those plans! And bring me the motherfuckin' passengers - I want them ALIVE, bitch!

[sakabatou]

14. From Harry Potter...

"I don't know who Maxime motherfuckin' thinks she's motherfuckin' kidding. If Hagrid's motherfuckin' half-giant, she definitely is. Big motherfuckin' bones... the only thing that's got bigger bones than her is a motherfuckin' dinosaur, bitch."

[MiniMandaRuth]

15. From the play I did earlier this year:

My friend (Hamlet): Oh God, to die the last of the court, to perish alone, but I shall drink this deadly poison. Live, Hamlet, live and tell my story to the cruel world! *Drinks poison.*

Me (Horatio): Why don't you just go an die a little f****** faster so I can get all you mother f****** stuff?! I mean, c'mon, you leave me to clean up this f****** mess all by myself and then you expect me to write this whole f****** story about you and you're little.... WHORE!!!! Well, Mister, I am not doing that, and I am prying that poison out of your cold f****** hands!

Hamlet: No. Go jump off a cliff. This is my poison. Besides, you can tell my story orally. You can spice it up.... SNAKES IN A CASTLE!!! You can spend three hours yelling about my f****** life while ending every sentence or so with 'And then he was chased by snakes. Mad, rabid snakes that would tear his throat out and pour poison in his ear!!!'

Horatio: You're starting to win me over....

Hamlet: And then you can bring plastic snakes and throw them at people!!! Oh, and paper airplanes with snakes drawn on them!!! That would do good for dramatic effect! Throw them at the old people! Make them have heartattacks!

Horatio: But then I need paper and pencils and throat lozenges. Okay, since you won't give me the poison, HORATIO SUICIDE DIVE!!!! *Jumps off stage and is sprawled on the ground*

Audience (Three of our friends and one ninth grader): *APPLAUSE*

Greatest moment of improve ever. Suited Snakes, dammit. Suited it.

[Mz Pip]

16. More Shakespeare

"A plague on both your motherfuckin houses." Romeo and Juliet.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[deutsey]

17. Call me Ishmael, motherfucker.

Also: "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your motherfuckin' ears!"

[deutsey]

18. April is the cruelest motherfuckin' month

:evilgrin:

[NoPasaran]

19. One morning, Gregor Samso awoke

and found he had been transformed into a muthafuckin' cockroach!