Jessica Simpson: "Nick didn't pack too well if you know what I mean..."

[Human Torch]

Jessica Simpson is quoted in the Times magazine (whatever the hell that is) saying that her ex husband Nick Lachey … ummm … lets see … how to sugarcoat this … has virtually no penis. Yeah, turns out there’s no way to sugarcoat that.. Jessica says:

"Nick didn't pack too well if you know what I mean, but I got over it."

And two days ago, she is quoted as saying:

"Nick's small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn't really feel much, I faked the whole thing, I really felt sorry for him, I still loved him though."

http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=1199

[Arugula Latte]

1. "What's Left of Me" ... Apparently, not much.

Ouch.

[Deja Q]

2. I'll be happy to give her my phone number...

Maybe she can straighten me out! :rofl:

Pun definitely intended.

[MadHound]

3. Owww, boy that's cruel

Looks like Nick's stock just fell through the floor. Apparently she now hates him if she's coming out with statements like that.

[Deja Q]

4. She's only human.

[ForrestGump]

33. Well, PARTS of her are...

Okay, so maybe they're real.

But what's with her brain?

[Bunny]

6. Seriously. That's a real hateful thing to say, especially if it's true.

Unbelievably crass and boorish.

[ScreamingMeemie]

5. Jeebus.... I could say something about Jessica and the inability

to "feel something"... but I won't. :hi:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

21. Haha...great minds think alike.

:hi:

[Tyrone Slothrop]

7. Wasn't she an uber-Christian virgin when they met???

So, how would she know? She shouldn't really have anything to compare it to...

[Reverend_Smitty]

9. I guess once they broke up she really got around

:shrug:

[LostinVA]

45. She got around alot before they were separated

Her affair with Johnny Knoxville on the "Dukes" set was quite indiscreet and more than quite public.

I'm not slamming her for the affair -- I'm slamming her for being a freaking hyocrite.

[Deja Q]

12. Maybe she's done a lot of, um, reading...

"Playgirl" is said to be rather informative... :spray:

Yeah, she's a cruel lil' nasty thing... but it's hollywood. It's all a joke. To them.

He wanted 'in' on Hollywood too. He can take it too.

[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

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[southpaw]

8. How utterly trashy...

even if its true...

Not that I ever had any respect for Jessica Simpson, but this is about as catty as it gets.

[Divameow77]

10. That's so tacky

and it makes her sound very bitter.

It looks like Nick's new, much hotter girlfriend is enjoying him very much.

[maxsolomon]

11. maybe SHE is 'roomy'

& he's normal.

women vary, also.

[idgiehkt]

15. I was going to make an unbelievably tasteless remark

concering her relationship with her Dad, which I can technically get away with since I myself am inbred southern white trash...but I'll refrain.

[ForrestGump]

18. I was thinking along the same lines, in answer to the question above

regarding how the virginal one would have a basis for comparison, but it looks like it doesn't need to be said... :D

[idgiehkt]

25. skeevy

Daddy does adore her double D's.

[maxsolomon]

34. he should, he paid for them

my SO just got a new bra - DD's for the first time ever (she gained 5 lbs.) - and let me tell ya, this "roomy" bubblehead isn't a DD cup. D i'll buy.

[RedCloud]

13. Why didn't he just get a crate of Enzyte?

maybe that stuff is too expensive :shrug:

They advertise it on ESPN, so it must be true!

[Fleshdancer]

14. is this for real?

How very juvenile and cruel if true. :wtf:

[City Lights]

16. Whatev...at least his boobs are real.

:evilgrin:

[ForrestGump]

19. Yeah

:rofl:

I never really followed anything about either one, but if these statements of hers are real it pretty much says all anyone needs to know about her, because there's no reason to ever let such info out, if she is even telling the truth about his personal apparatus. The other thing that's plainly apparent is that, even if he's currently a celibate monk in a monastery and currently on latrine detail, he's better off without that airhead -- nay, bimbo, her having fully earned this sexism-contaminated sobriquet with these quotes alone -- in his life.

Count your blessings, dude.

[LostinVA]

46. hahahahahhahaha

And, IF he has had any plastic surgery, it was well done -- she so does not look good lately.

And, just because I loathe him so much, don't get em started about her creepy Dad...

[philosophie_en_rose]

17. Jessica doesn't have much class, if you know what I mean.

What is the purpose of bringing up the size of his penis? Does it make her a victim? a better person?

Her comments are completely trashy, and invite comments about her pre-marriage activities. (a virgin would probably still feel a small penis)

[ForrestGump]

22. You never know. Her tacky, vicious remarks (again, if she actually said

them) makes acceptable a degree of speculation that perhaps, when they Got Together, it was kinda like this:

[Deja Q]

40. It's hollywood. It's as simple as that.

[LaurenG]

20. What a B**ch

That tells me she must have waay to much room to pack in! How dare she say that about someone she supposedly loves/loved.

[deadparrot]

36. My thoughts exactly. nt

[terrya]

23. So, why did she stay with him as long as she did?

If that's such an important thing for her?

[bmbmd]

24. Carmen Electra said the same thing

about Dennis Rodman. In my thirty years of practicing medicine, I've learned a thing or two about the male physique. My guess is that Nick and Dennis could more than measure up....

[ForrestGump]

26. Now I'm all embarrassed

I was laboring under the illusion that doctors and nurses promptly wiped their memories of data relating to our personal fixtures right after they're through handling them. :blush:

I mean, how can I ever again see on the street a medical professional who's examined me and not feel their eyes mentally undressing me and asking me to cough? :-(

Another childhood illusion shattered.

Though I'll never forget, when I was more than a couple of decades younger than now and in the hospital after a rather nasty motorcycle crash, being given a shower by a nurse about the same age as me...at that time, I'd never been intimate with a woman at all (unfortunately, not even with any significant kissing), so it's a wonder I don't have a massive nurse-fantasy thing going on. :D

[ScreamingMeemie]

32. It's awful isn't it?

I freak out about this all the time. It is a wonder I somehow managed to have two children. I did it by looking for a girl doctor who had four kids of her own. :D Although, the doctor that delivered my daughter was the kind of guy I'd actually get my overly pregnant self all made up for. :blush:

[idgiehkt]

49. no way.

This must be something that women do to be mean after a breakup or something, because Dennis Rodman is probably just fine, being as tall as he is. Isn't Nick Lachey getting married or engaged or something to some new girl?

[querelle]

27. No Class

A terrible thing to say about one's ex. Maybe she's still bitter about the break up and feels the need to lash out at him. Whatever her reason, the girl has absolutely no class.

Q

[LostinVA]

47. She broke up with him

I think she expected him to beg and crawl on his knees... instead of acting "like a man."

[LadyoftheRabbits]

28. Ouch...

o.0

[TommyO]

29. Small or not, he's a lot cuter than you, Jess!

Really! My ex and I love to joke about our genetically pre-disposed lack of endowment, and quite frankly if Jessica doesn't want Nick, I have an empty bed here for him (at least for one night).

[elperromagico]

30. Didn't measure up to Daddy, huh?

[LostinVA]

52. That is so gross -- but I can't totally disagree

Her Dad is creepy. I can say that if MY Dad went around talking sicko about em and my sister, my mom would divorce him. Gotta watch those youth pastors, you know...

[MrSlayer]

31. I'd be happy to help her out.

If I wasn't so married.

That's quite a low blow to take at someone though.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

35. Now that was just mean. . .

Although probably true, it was still mean

[Name removed]

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[AirmensMom]

38. What a spiteful thing to say!

True or not ... it's just mean. :grr:

[calico1]

39. Classless, trashy BITCH! n/t

[Dukkha]

41. WHORE!

That whole fucked up family is as dysfunctional as they get. Pathetic shallow insecure attention whores. They'll all be on VH-1's "Where Are They Now" soon enough.

[sendero]

53. For the life of me..

... I don't get why anyone thinks this woman is some kind of beauty. I see more attractive women at the mall every time I go.

[Fox Mulder]

42. What a horrible thing to say.

[LostinVA]

43. She's such a tacky thing -- ugh

I was never some huge fan of Lachey, but he sure as hell has been the grown up through this whole thing...

Little Miss Innocent, huh? Her affairs were indiscreet... and don't get me started about her creepy Dad...

And Jessica? Most women don't look back at their "deflowerment" with fond memories of multiple Os...

[Deja Q]

44. How come Nick is getting dissed whereas SUV owners get the same treatment?

[TroubleMan]

48. Now he's gonna have to do a porn movie to prove otherwise.

Like John Wayne Bobbit did to prove it still worked.

[AlCzervik]

50. mmmmmmmmclassy

[bleedingheart]

51. best response in this thread...

[complain jane]

54. "Times magazine"

WTF is that?

Sounds like bullshit.

[chaska]

55. Whatever. What really pisses me off is her uglyass sister on the cover of

every goddamn magazine on the planet, EVERY MONTH!!! It just really makes me angry that you can buy celebrity like that. No talent, no beauty, no substance whatsoever. Nothing but money.

[Deja Q]

56. I always thought Ashlee was the more talented of the two...

Ashlee has written her own songs... (and, yes, I recall the SNL incident... funny how she's still around making more and Milli Vanilla got laughed out...)

And before the bleach job, she looked halfway decent...

[idgiehkt]

61. I do think Ashlee has something to offer

She's prettier (or at least sexier) than Jessica to me, she really can sing, and she's a liberal that supported Kerry in a family of fundie freaks. I have to admire her for that. When she performs she reminds me of a sanitized version of Courtney Love.

[Kire]

57. You forgot the rest

When asked about this, a top mental health doctor said, “Nick should probably kill himself. We rarely recommend that, but, seriously, she said she couldn't feel anything." This is also another reason I desperately want to sleep with Jessica Simpson. I'd be following an infant. She'll think I'm huge, almost no matter what. Whereas if I was about to have sex with Paris Hilton, I would tie a rope around my waist . Have someone on the other end, work out some kind of code. Two pulls on the rope means I'm in danger, one means I need more air, that sort of thing. And when I yell "on belay" he needs to tighten up

This is fake. There is no "Times Magazine"

[peekaloo]

58. They broke up because of luggage? How sad.

:dunce:

[SnohoDem]

59. Kegel, ladies, Kegel!

I assume from the comments this was her first marriage?

[lavenderdiva]

62. Locking

Please do not post Sex Threads. Thank you.