Hell - Explained by a chemistry student

[Ohio Joe]

I got this in an email, it claims to be true but is probably not (and I'm to lazy to go check snopes), I thought it was funny anyway.


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[lizziegrace]

1. I've always like this joke!

:hi: Joe! How've you ben?

[Ohio Joe]

3. Hey Beautiful

I'm good, working too damn much but otherwise good. Hows it by you? When are you going to put up more pictures from the meetup?

[lizziegrace]

4. Lelapin has them all on her computer

I'll threaten her when she gets home! Who was photographing us when were sitting at the picnic table and you appeared to be feeling up RexCat? ;)

Those are the ones I want to see...

:hi:

[Ohio Joe]

5. Yikes!!

And thats not who I was trying to feel up at all :evilgrin:

[lizziegrace]

6. too funny

you were stroking his face... I saw you!

[lizziegrace]

7. you really must get the internets connected at home

At night, there's a totally different lounge. ;)

[Ohio Joe]

10. I know

I come in early to work now just so I can look through some of the threads from the night before :)

[lizziegrace]

11. But those are re-runs

you need to be around for the production...

[Ohio Joe]

8. ohhh crap, I remember now

I did do that, didn't I :) I guess I'll be having fun captioning that one.

[lizziegrace]

9. Yeah, you did it all right

and somewhere out there are photos to prove it! I think EstimatedProphet has them. How much $$ do you have?? :evilgrin:

[Ohio Joe]

12. See, thats one thing about me

There are already too many pictures of me doing odd things/things I shouldn't to worry about one of me copping a feel from a guy I just met :o

Out in MA, my friend Bill has a video from another friends 30th birthday. I come walking in, hand George (the birthday boy) a dozen roses and give him a big old kiss right on the lips. It cracked up everyone there except George, he was just shocked :)

It's doing silly stuff in front of cameras that has allowed the rumors of me being gay to continue to circulate. I just never let what other people think to get in the way of my having fun :)

[ZombieNixon]

2. Uhh...her name wasn't Teresa...

:yoiks: :hide: