Thinking of what kind of stinky stuff to put on me...any insight?

[ForrestGump]

I've never worn colognes or aftershaves or any of that stuff, being a natural dude (here you should be thinking of Kevin Kline's character in A Fish Called Wanda steeling himself for action by checking the pheromone levels in his armpits), but for quite a while now I've been thinking of it for my work. There's a practical thing here, too, I guess, in that a few hours in a jumpsuit in sometimes-hot conditions does pump up the old homeostatic release of coolant and a little covering scent couldn't hurt. Mainly, though, I've been checking out women's reactions to my co-Elvis, who wears cologne, and quite a few comment on how nice he smells. Seems to kinda add a little something, and that can't hurt.

But there's more. A couple of nights ago, before we started our work, he offered me some of his cologne (not his usual stuff...forget what it was called, but maybe something like Paul Litchfield or whatever) and I thought I'd give it a try. I had absolutely no idea what to do with it, of course, but I sprayed a couple of little misty squirts around my throat area and upper chest and decided the stench wasn't too putrid and that I'd see what the night brought as a perfumed sorta-King. Now, there were undoubtedly other reasons at play here, but what happened that night was I got me a woman. :D

Holy shoot, that cologne is powerful stuff... :o

So now I'm kind of in love the idea of drenching myself in what I'm beginning to imagine as some kind of flowery. musky aphrodisiac that will break down any last resistance left by the mere sight of my radiant self and Help Me Make It Through The Night. Or something like that. And, of course, I can sweat all I want and not worry about how far I spread my arms when I'm around people.

Now, Elvis, in the '70s, preferred -- for all his wealth -- Brut and Old Spice. What my partner's told me he usually uses is Fendi for Men and Paco Rabanne. I've found good prices on both (eBay offered me, by a slim margin, the best deal) and was thinking of just buying one 3.4-oz bottle of each, sight unsmelled. His reasoning is that we shouldn't use colognes that are especially widespread (he reeled off a bunch of names, none of which I remember) because we want to stand out from regular dudes (hey, we're Elvis) a little, olfactorily, and from watching reactions to his scent I have to say that he's probably got a point there. If he wore Polo or Calvin Klein, or whatever else is especially popular, I doubt he'd get any remarks, at least regaridng his scent. Last year, when I toyed with the idea of splashing cologne on myself, I checked out a few and the one I really did like (I'm generally not a huge fan of any scent, whether on a male or female) was one of the Burberry brand, a real citrus-y smell that appealed to me.

If any of y'all happen to be experts on such things -- or even if not -- I'd really appreciate any guidance on potential colognes for me. I don't know what sort of criteria you'd be looking to match, but I guess what I want is something that is not very common (by which I mean, not a thing too many men wear), obviously something that smells good, and that is strong (as in strength) but not overpowering (for one thing, I've got to wear the stuff) or too insistent, but potent enough that at least most of the fragrance lasts a few hours fairly coherently. If it has any bearing at all on cologne choice, my physical type is tall and broad (so a robust undertone is good) but I'm also decked out in flashy clothes and jewels and wearing mascara (so a feminine hint's also good) -- think Elvis, I guess, and although he was hardly androgenous he had definite feminine characteristics along with the more macho. And I'm not really serious about wanting something with pheromones or musk that somehow magically drives women nuts, if there is such a thing, because we have enough problems with that already.... :scared: (one woman damn near smashed my nose into oblivion a while back and I've more than once taken a loaded purse to the groin from ladies who were a little overly enthusiastic and/or inebriated and incapable of properly handling such instruments of gonadal destruction)

I can always try it his way and go for Fendi and Paco (I take great pains to be authentic regarding Elvis' raiment and all of that, but I think I'll pass on the Brut and Old Spice, if only because the idea of trying to be more distinctive, scent-wise, probably has merit) but if anyone has any better ideas I'd love to hear 'em...

Thanks.

[NewWaveChick1981]

1. FG! There are some horrendous men's colognes, but there are

some great ones. Dolce & Gabbana D&G Masculine makes me weak in the knees (in a good way! :evilgrin:), as do Ralph Lauren Romance for Men and Tiffany for Men. :loveya: You probably want to stay away from fragrances with amber notes, as these give a lot of people headaches (I know from experience). Amber notes would be Christian Dior Dune, Calvin Klein Obession, etc.

Hope that helps at least a little. :)

[ForrestGump]

6. Thank you! Hmmm...makes... MsChick1981...weak...at... the...knees...

Made a note of that. I think I've just found the key attribute I was looking for. :D

:hug:

I'm going to check these out and maybe I'll just buy the winning candidate at the perfume store where, if I smile nicely to the sales clerk (and if they're one of the women I used to know there), I can use my defunct casino ID to get a 25% discount. :D

Thanks for the warning about amber...I'm not around most people very long, so maybe they'd get away without any headache, but it would suck most vigorously if I was sensitive to it. Besides, I wouldn't buy Obsession because I don't want to support sad-looking heroin-addicted models who sign up to be in stupid and pointless TV ads.

Thanks!!



Making a woman weak at the knees is pretty much prerequisite to sweeping her off her feet, isn't it? :evilgrin:

[NewWaveChick1981]

14. Yeah, if you're looking to sweep her off her feet, you gotta start

small and work your way up. :P

When you're sniff testing, don't test more than three or four at a time because they'll all start to smell alike. The store should have spray strips (i.e. you spray the one you want to smell on a paper strip, not on yourself), so that makes it easier if you want to take the scent home without having to buy it.

Also, moderation is the key in spraying it. Yeah, you want people to smell it, but not from 50 feet away. :P I'm sure you already know that, but there is nothing more of a turnoff than a guy whose cologne precedes him into the room and stays for hours after he's gone. :P A couple of sprays in key areas will do nicely. :)

Gotta agree with you about Obession---the ads alone are enough reason to boycott it. The amber in it can trigger migraines in me, so I run screaming away from it if I start to smell it. :(

:*

[ForrestGump]

22. I always tend to prefer working my way DOWN, but

...oh...we're talking about something else, aren't we... :blush:

Thank you for the invaluable tips. The store in which I checked the Burberry (and others) had spray strips, now that you mention it. Much better than going home smelling like I'd just spent a week in the proverbial French funhouse (which is, admittedly, pretty much what Las Vegas is). Thanks to you and the other Most Excellent DUers herein, I've already got quite a nice list of potential candidates to check, so maybe I should try a few and then go away and eat something before coming back to finish the job.

Yes, overapplication of cologne or perfume seems to be very common and a real problem. I never had any particular liking of the stuff, though I found some perfumes really did smell nice and certainly did contribute, somehow to allure. I guess our olfacory sense is most certainly an important part of sexual and other social interactions, even if we don't necessarily always particularly notice that it is. But too much of the stuff slathered on...blehhh. When I was with my wife I probably never would have worn any colgne because she tended to be sensitive to scents and I saw her almost sick, at times, when trapped for any time near women who had been a little overenthusiastic with the perfume bottle. I've felt it myself, at times, like I was being suffocated and needed air, or was about to get a massive headache (maybe that amber thing?). It'd be tempting enough to spray my whole body, especially with the heat (and sweat) coming off me in those suits, but I'll stick to a few small sprays around my throat and chest, the range within which most women's heads tend to be, and count on my body heat riling up the cologne molecules like I'm some kind of aromatherapy diffuser.

And if the ads, alone, weren't enough to discourage me, Obesssion's neural effects would convince me to boycott the stuff: weak at knees -- good; running screaming -- not so good.

:*

[idgiehkt]

2. seems to be a popular topic today.

as seen here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5493510&mesg_id=5493510

[ForrestGump]

8. Synchronicity!

Actually, that's where I got the idea to post...I was looking on the Web for reviews of colognes and for prices on the stuff and then saw that my fellow DUers were already talking about the smelly stuff. Good timing!

[idgiehkt]

13. yes, I thought it was safer to post that

link than try to hold forth on it myself. All I know about cologne is that it makes me sneeze. I'd trust the people here before some web review. Good luck!

[ForrestGump]

24. Thanks!

Yes, the Web reviews I found weren't especially enlightening. I guess it's about as impentrable, some of the specific descriptive terminology, as is the language of winetasters to the uninitiated.

I am kind of worried about irritating the mucous membrances (or skin, etc) of people with severe environmental sensitivities (not that Vegas is in any way a good desination for the thus afflicted) or who are allergic or otherwise sensitive to scents, in general, but most of my contact with individuals on the job is rather fleeting and I'm going to be sparing in applying the stuff. Hopefully I won't be inspiring too much sneezing!

[dropkickpa]

3. I'm simplistic

Old Spice does it for me every time.

[ForrestGump]

10. Elvis!

:hi:

I think I vaguely know what that smells like. It'd certainly be authentic!

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. My dear ForrestGump.........

I actually have no idea about men's colognes.........

My husband won't touch the stuff!

I just wanted to wish you luck, baby!

[ForrestGump]

12. Thank you!

:hug:

I'm with your husband (no, not in that way...that was just a vicious rumor and the photographs are patently fake!). I mean, I would be with him, still, if it wasn't for the exigencies of the job...it's probably time to step up and douse myself with alcohol-marinated bits of flowers and whatever. I wouldn't normally wear mascara, either, or have sideburns (quite) this big. :D

Oh, I suffer so for my art... :P

[SOteric]

5. Not common and not cheap,

http://www.fragrancenet.com/f/net/mf_items.html?cat=02109&cur_letter=s&gender=M&mv_pc=ZgoogleUnassigned6

...but this stuff is some slice of dudely heaven.

[NewWaveChick1981]

7. Most of the Cartier fragrances are expensive but soooo worth

it! :loveya: Didn't want to hook ForrestGump on the hard stuff yet, but if he's game, I say go for it! :P

[ForrestGump]

16. Oooohhh...

Now this sounds intriguing. :D

Yes, young lady, I think -- consistent with my behavior of late -- I will just throw at least some caution to the wind and jump right in. I'll give it a smell, anyway. I'm ready. I can take it. I think.

Will its very presence in the air inspire all women within sniffing range to spontaneously imitate Meg Ryan's coffee-shop performance in When Harry Met Sally?

[ForrestGump]

15. "Very male and outdoorsy"?

I'm already that. :D

I bet I didn't smell like this Cartier stuff after a few days in the boonies, though.

Thank you, Ms teric. :hug:

I'll have a sniff of this, too. It's more expensive, but I'm probably not going to be getting too carried away with applying the stuff (my friend sometimes applies it rather generously), and I might be able to get a pretty decent discount.

The important question, though, is does it make you weak at the knees? :loveya:

[SOteric]

19. Not just the knees, Mr. Gump

It turns just about all of a lady's inner workings into a melty puddle of warm goo. Anything not melted in the ensuing body-heat is left throbbing with lust.

[ForrestGump]

25. Um. Okay. Thank you for that.

Mercy.

:o

So what you're saying is that it's good stuff...

[GOPisEvil]

35. Holy crow.

I'm not a cologne guy either, but...uh, that's a pretty ringing endorsement.

[jus_the_facts]

9. Grey Flannel has always been a favorite o'mine....

...and this description says it's got citrus properties as well. :hi:

Geoffrey Beane introduced Grey Flannel in 1976 for the first time it was then found to be an oriental, woody and luxurious fragrance. It blends various notes such as oak moss, patchouli, lemon, bergamot and orange. It is suggested for romantic wear.

[ForrestGump]

17. That sounds a lot like Burberry and they both even

(don't they?) make tweedy, English-kinda clothing. :D

:hug:

Thanks! Another good candidate for my list. This is cool. I wonder how you do the nasal equivalant of clearing your palate between cologne/perfume tests, though?

[jus_the_facts]

20. They should use an oxygen mask.....

....d'be my guess?! :shrug: :D

You're most welcome...I wear ONLY Liz Claiborne original...if ya wanna get a little whiff o'that while you're shoppin'! :o

:hug: :loveya:

[ForrestGump]

26. ONLY Liz Claiborne original?

No clothes? :o

This undoubtedly provokes some comments in your neighborhood, I'd think. :P

Where're the pictures? :D :loveya:

[jus_the_facts]

30. Actually I have had a lot of compliments....

....s'why it's my signature scent! :evilgrin:

[Haole Girl]

42. I once had a boyfriend who wore Grey Flannel...

*sigh* After we broke up, I'd stop by the men's department and spay my arm, then go home and hide under the sheets...just to smell it. Wow, that sounds pretty pitiful, doesn't it? Perhaps I should just say I really enjoyed that smell!

[grannylib]

11. As a woman, I find Drakkar Noir REALLY appealing but it can be over

powering if overdone...as can just about any scent.
Don't know if they still make it but there was a men's scent called Canoe that was pretty nice.

And here's the old hippie in me talking, but I love patchouli oil, on men or women.

[ForrestGump]

18. Patchouli!

I kinda like it, too, perhaps because I was often around people who wore it a lot.

Thank you for the suggestions...I'll see what I can find out about Canoe (I used to kayak a lot, so of course I like the name) and I'll give Drakkar Noir a go at the store.

[In_The_Wind]

21. Gray Flannel is a nice light fragrance for men.

But it's best to test it on yourself before your purchase. Fragrances will change slightly to blend with your body chemistry.

[ForrestGump]

27. Thank you, Ms Alpern!

You and Ms the_facts agree on that one.

Maybe I should narrow the field with spray strips and then try the finalists out on my skin, if I can still smell anything by that stage. I might need to make the testing a multiday campaign!

:hi:

:loveya:

[In_The_Wind]

29. Professional perfumers will tell you that after 3 different samples ...

your nose will need a break. A multiday testing campaign is your best bet.



:loveya:

[AirmensMom]

23. Oh, jeez ...

Whatever you decide on, PLEASE learn to use it sparingly. People shouldn't be able to name your cologne from across the room.

Harleydad doesn't wear any ... and I'm thankful for that.

[ForrestGump]

28. I won't. I mean, I will.

Use it sparingly, that is.

Besides, even the less expensive stuff is pretty costly! And I sure don't want to be obnoxiously perfumed...I'm not inclined to wear it, anyway, so I'd want it no stronger than I am prepared to put up with, which is going to be fairly subtle.

[AirmensMom]

32. OK.

*sniff* The stuff makes me really sick. I'm glad you know what "obnoxiously perfumed" means ... and don't want to be that. :hug:

[Missy Vixen]

31. I kinda' like Old Spice

Then again, I'm an old-fashioned kind of a girl. In the meantime, give Davidoff's Cool Water a spin. DH wears it, just a teeny bit, and it makes me weak in the knees. Very fresh, clean scent. I can't smell it till I practically have my nose in his chest. Perfect.

If you are half as attractive as you are witty and charming, I imagine you to be very popular with women already!

Julie

[ForrestGump]

36. I like the old Frankie Laine song by the sam name, and it's on my list...

And thank you! In reality I am one of the more self-deprecating people I know, but it'd be disingenuous to deny that I seem to attract a fair amount of female attention (driven to insane proportions by the Elvis thing, of course, as artificial as that may be to a certain extent) but here I must handily deprecate myself because I have almost invariably messed up opportunities for something that might follow on from that initial attraction. But I'm working on that in earnest now, at last... :D

On the bright side, my remaining social impairment (basically failure to respond to overt courtship signals) is probably the key to me not being a raving egotist, even if I play one on DU. :P

I mean, I may be 50 or 60 by the time I finally get it together just right, but you just wait and see: I'll be the Don Juan of the nursing home...

[Hissyspit]

33. Joop is pretty good.

In my experience. And Stetson Black is new and pretty good. I think they are both aftershaves.

Don't use too much! A little cologne on the wrist and neck goes a long way. A bit more of aftershave is required and it won't last as long.

[ForrestGump]

37. I love the name...Joop!

Joop Joop.

Joop.

:D

Thank you -- I'll check these out, too, later on. I've gone ahead and ordered the winning candidate, but I still need to audition all of these other candidates over the next little while.

Don't think I'll go with aftershave, though. I guess because I've never used it and am not sure I see the point, especially given the inherently insane aspect of slapping alcohol on a freshly shaven face...ouch. I hate shaving enough as it is... :o

[ScreamingMeemie]

34. Lagerfeld or grey Flannel... My two favorites. Light and clean.

:hi: But very masculine

[ForrestGump]

38. Hmmm...this Grey Flannel stuff seems a babe magnet

:D

Not sure I'm prepared to douse myself with lager, though.

Thank you! On my list of potentials, and Grey Flannel's heading further up the chart with a bullet... :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

54. I love it, Love it LOVE IT!

Nice and soft and masculine. :D I make MrG wear it.

[ForrestGump]

39. Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemens

I decided on Dolce & Gabbana Masculine for now, and found a great price on it, but I'm going to check out some of these others, too.

Getting too many comments on how nice I smell since I started boosting my pheromone output to ignore the various benefits of wearing cologne, at least while on the job. If you hear of an Elvis running down the Strip, half naked with jumpsuit torn to shreds and being hotly pursued by a posse of babes (and perhaps a man or two) worthy of a Benny Hill epic, just know that it's all the fault of Ms NewWaveChick1981...

Thanks! :hi:

[Haole Girl]

40. Just one request:

Please, please, don't wear too much! A good gage is: just 1 squirt and at least 1 hour before you leave home!

[ForrestGump]

41. I won't, I promise

And by the time I get to wear I work, after changing into my gear, it's usually about a half hour travel and prep time. My sense of smell is by far my least acute, by a massive margin, so if I can just smell it it's probably about right. :D

[Haole Girl]

43. Actually,

if a person smells their own cologne it is too strong. You should not smell it on yourself at all-- trust me on this one! ;-)

[ForrestGump]

45. Oh, darn

I'd better make sure that I point the nozzle in the right direction, then, or I'll have no clue as to whether I sprayed myself.

Of course, my sense of smell is so bad that I could probably spray my upper lip and not smell it. :-)

[Haole Girl]

44. Oh...and one more thing:

Different colognes react differently to individual body chemistry...what works for one person, might smell entirely different on another person.

[ForrestGump]

47. That makes sense

I guess that, if I find myself repelling people (I mean, more than usual), I can always spray it on my clothes rather than my skin. I sure hope this D&G stuff agrees with my personal physiology!

[SmokingJacket]

46. Don't do it!

A man should smell like hot sun on a clean shirt.

[ForrestGump]

48. Too late!

Hot sun on a clean shirt is good, though, I agree...but I get so hot, so quickly (especially in heavy jumpsuits), that it's too often a little more like something that crawled out of the Louisiana swamp, but sweatier and hotter. :o

I used to want to deck those dudes who'd stand in the entrances to mall department stores and spray their noxious fragrances, unsolicited, on my person...I never did like going to malls, usually, anyway, and that was reason #448 to stay the hell away from them... :grr:

[SmokingJacket]

49. True... hot sun on a not-so-clean shirt is a different thing entirely!

Hope you find something good! :hi:

[ForrestGump]

50. Thanks!

:hi:

I'm betting on Dolce et Decorum Est Gabbana, for now.

And then I'm going to give this yet another read:

[supernova]

51. This one does it for me

http://www.fragrancenet.com/f/net/gs_items.html?cat=02344&cur_letter=T&gs_gen=M

This one is very outdoorsy and not overly sweet-smelling or floral.

[hedgehog]

52. My husband used Brut on the floor mats of his old clunker.

Boy, did that car smell good or what!

[Nicole]

53. Lagerfeld

Lagerfeld sounds kinda like Litchfield. Maybe that is what you borrowed from your Co-Elvis?. :)


I see you've already made your choice. Dolce & Gabbana Masculine is a good one. :toast: