Does this happen to anyone else?

[Orrex]

Pretty much every single time I stumble into a minor financial windfall, I immediately stumble into a corresponding and mandatory cost. In most cases the two offset each other almost exactly, but sometimes I'm left with a little extra cash, and sometimes I'm hit with a little extra debt. But the bottom line is clear: the universe does not want me to get ahead.

Recently I received a check for $500 as part of an insurance reimbursement incentive, and within days my "check engine" light came on, calling for repairs that totalled $485 plus tax. Not long before that, I got a small and unannounced bonus from my employer in the amount of $300, and days later a storm caused $325 in damage to my roof. I could go on and on, but the point is served. I've discussed this with friends, and the pollyannas among them saw it as a sort of karmic good, in that I won't get greedy, and at least I didn't have to pay the $325 out of my existing funds. Another friend likened me to Seinfeld's "Even Steven," which I found apt but unsatisfying.

I suppose that I wouldn't mind so much if I had any sense at all that I'd break even in the end. But instead I'm left with the constant and inescapable worry that if I should win $1 million in a lottery, I'd instantly be sued for $1.5 million.

Does this happen to anyone else, or am I the only dumb bastard thus afflicted?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. No; you're not the only one. I have noticed the same phenomenon.

I'm convinced cars know when you have money, and they will deliberately malfunction as soon as they sense the presence of extra cash. It is a very good idea to avoid thinking about that money when you are in or near your car. They know.

[Orrex]

3. It's a comfort to know that I'm not alone in this weirdness

I swear that it's been going on for years, and it's happened often enough that even my serious skeptic's mind sometimes has difficulty believing that The Hidden Masters aren't directly intervening in my finances.

And it never happens the other way around. Never do I encounter a sudden debt of $1000 and then just as suddenly happen upon an extra thousand.

[bluethruandthru]

2. I was just thinking the same thing.

I just got a bonus of $2000....and I found out I needed dental work to the tune of $1,200. Then the cat had to go to the vet and needed $400 worth of "repairs". I guess I should look on the bright side... If I didn't get the bonus...I'd be up a creek!

[Literate Tar Heel]

4. it's like the "Seinfeld" episode

where Jerry keeps breaking even in everything ... he has a gig cancelled, he's immediately booked for another one the same weekend ... he breaks even playing poker ... Elaine decides to test his theory by asking him for $20, which she promptly throws out his window onto the sidewalk to see if he'll break even (Jerry: "You know, you could have thrown a pencil out the window and seen if that came back.") ... moments later, George arrives showing off the $20 bill he just found on the sidewalk ... great stuff

[Orrex]

6. I wish I'd thought of that

Uh--I mentioned that episode in the OP! :P

[jobycom]

10. You know nobody reads more than the first and last sentence

:)

[Orrex]

13. But I usually hide the secrets of the universe in the second sentence

I weep because you're cheating yourself out of transcendent enlightenment.

[jobycom]

22. We've already got one.

(obscure... probably no one will get it...)

[Orrex]

27. I fart in your general direction

I feel so dirty for not only identifying a Python quote but for returning in kind.

:hide:

[jobycom]

29. Impressive!

:applause: Or maybe a sign that both of us need lives.

[Orrex]

30. Maybe a little bit of both

I'm not too far-gone, in that I can't quote verbatim from memory anything longer than a line or two. I know some really hopeless geeks who can chant along with the film and most of the Flying Circus episodes.

If you can identify that you might have a problem, then there's still hope for you!

[Literate Tar Heel]

17. I just won't post to this forum anymore then

effing a ... how dare someone commit an oversight of 3 words ... sorry to bother you with my completely pointless ramblings ... and I thought we were supposed to be the party of tolerance

[asthmaticeog]

18. Wow, from a simple oversight to the doom of the party in three notes!

:applause:

[Orrex]

23. Yeah--way to cripple the Left

Next time read all the words in every post!

[jobycom]

26. Well, you know, to be fair

You could have left out a couple of the words here and there. Republicans get by in life understanding only about half of what's said to them.

[jobycom]

21. ROFLMAO! I'm assuming sarcasm.

:rofl:

[JackBeck]

5. The "powers that be" are just looking out for you.

When I first moved to NYC 12 years ago, I was a struggling actor working at (cough) Starbucks. After three years, financially, things kept on getting worse, and each time I was about to throw in the towel, because I couldn't make rent, I'd find $100 on the floor as I mopped up each night.

[pitohui]

7. i know many people this happens to

it does not happen to me, knock on wood, but i have noticed it in others

my bestest example, a lady who desperately needed the money won $10,000 in a tournament i played in, we were all crying and hugging because she of all us needed that money

she did much needed repairs on her mobile home with the money (except for $1000 she gave to her sister who was dying of cancer)

not 3 months later it burned to the ground and the smoke inhalation caused her to have a heart attack

she ended up more in the hole financially than when she had started

god hates some people and it is hard to understand why, because they do not seem to be worse than any other people and often they are better people -- by contrast, i would not have given any money to the sister, who yes she was ill but also yes she was a sociopath yet when my hubby won a similar sum we never got struck down by a jealous god
even tho we hogged every bit of $$$ for ourselves!

[graywarrior]

8. I swear this phenomenon has kept me unsuccessful

I'm afraid if I make more money, some evil shit will happen.

[Orrex]

11. That's it exactly!

Like a good little Pavlovian test-subject, I have been conditioned to the point that I know that something with intervene and strip me of success the moment I achieve it.

Another example: when I moved to my current job position, my yearly salary jumped $1000. But in the time since I got the raise, gas prices have increased to the point that it now costs me about $1200 more per year to fill my tank.

I know that everyone suffers because of gas prices, and I apologize--it's the universe trying to screw with me, and you're all collateral victims, I'm afraid.

[bluethruandthru]

12. I have that fear about the lottery.

Even when I buy a ticket (rarely)...I'm half-hoping I don't win because I'm afraid that something horrible will happen to "even things out".

[graywarrior]

15. Yeah, like you have abetter chance of getting cancer than

winning the lottery. When I buy a lottery ticket and lose, I'm almost relieved. I'm very sick that way.

[bluethruandthru]

16. I'm right there with you!

I think it's some weird "fear of success" phobia.

[graywarrior]

20. Failure on the installment plan. I got great credit in that department.

[pitohui]

24. cynthia jay is the classic example

she won i believe $38 million in megabucks at the desert inn -- and shortly thereafter was hit by a drunk driver who killed her sister and left her paralyzed for life and, last i heard, in a nursing home

the only "winner" was the quick thinking boyfriend who married her as soon as she won the money and got half the millions when she was paralyzed, i don't doubt he's w. a significantly younger "cocktail waitress" these days (she claimed to be in her late 30s but i saw her and put her age closer to 50, yes meow meow but me being catty is far from the worse thing that ever happened to this misfortunate lady)

the desert inn didn't last much longer either, they've been blown to shit for awhile now and the wynn is now on that spot

[Orrex]

25. Holy shit

Now I don't feel so bad about my busted hub-bearing.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. My warranty ran out 50 miles before i lost my AC.

Life sucks. I completely feel you.
Duckie

[asthmaticeog]

14. It's practically a law of nature.

As yet unnamed though, AFAIK - maybe if you wrote up a paper and got it published it could be called "Orrex's Curve of Predictive Fiscal Fuckedness." Or something.

[Orrex]

19. And as soon as I published it

The universe would alter itself so that the phenomenon no longer occurred, rendering my paper obsolete. I'd go from respected theorist to derided laughingstock in an instant, thereby simultaneously proving and invalidating my point.

Universe, o universe, why must you mock me so?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

28. That happens to me too.

[Digit]

31. I would rather look at it as the universe protecting me....

Manifesting the money BEFORE you require the money.

I see that as less stressful.

Polly

[Orrex]

32. That would give me comfort if...

If I could make myself believe that it will all work out in the end. But usually I wind up with a net deficit of some size, so it's hard for me to maintain the hope that everything'll be financially all right.