I have a guitar my students affectionately nicknamed "the Cheese Grater"

[jpgray]

It's an old Harmony Sovereign from the sixties and I think I just cut open the pad of my index finger playing it.

[MorningGlow]

1. Most excellent

When my friends and I were taking lessons when we were teenagers (from an old bluesman--greatest lessons EVER), he nicknamed my friend's electric guitar "the toilet seat". It weight two tons if an ounce and was completely flat and painted matte black--the absolute ugliest things with strings I've ever seen. Impossible to play, too, of course.

[jpgray]

3. I love stories about shit guitars

I'm also possessed of a black sparkly Lotus strat-ripoff that emits a squeal of static when any of the knobs is turned.

[MorningGlow]

9. My first guitar came from the JCPenney catalog

Nuff said. (Was a gift from a well-meaning aunt and uncle, and I was 9 years old, so what could you do?)

[SOteric]

2. I have a cheese grater that's so old it generates a tone when used.

But I've never cut my finger on it.

[Throd]

4. I can't throw guitars away

I have several complete basket cases. The worst is something I bought back in 1983 called a "Cort". It CAN NOT BE TUNED! Everything is hopelessly out of whack. Now if it were a drill or a toaster I would have shitcanned it long ago. But it's...it's...a guitar!

[jpgray]

5. I've played a Cort!

And yes, I have an Epiphone Les Paul that is in -desperate- need of a tuneup that I never play, yet... it's irresistable to maintain an arsenal of guitars.

[Throd]

7. I play an beat up Aria Pro II the most

Unlike my Cort, it never goes out of tune no matter how I abuse it. That is critical when you jump around a lot like a retard.

[driver8]

8. I have a Cort acoustic guitar that a friend gave me.

He owed me $25 and gave me the guitar, instead. It actually plays pretty well. It has a decent sound, also.

[Floogeldy]

6. Take comfort in the fact that . . . .

Your students think that you are a big piece of cheese.

;)