I'm sliding into Depression

[martymar64]

I'm having an extremely tough time keeping up my spirits today. The news is all war and corruption, enough in itself to bring anyone down. I'm also going through a really lonely time in my life. I just can't seem to find someone to connect with. I've been attracted to a younger woman and I thought we were hitting it off, but today she all but snubbed me. My previous attempts at finding someone have also been fruitless. I feel this close to despair and giving up (finding someone, not life in total). I almost feel like going to bed and not getting out, ala Brian Wilson. How I feel right now really sucks.

[progmom]

1. awww...

:hug:

Hang in there. And use us as a sounding board if you need us.

[martymar64]

5. Thank you progmom and ZombieNixon

Although most days I would look on the bright side and tell myself how much I've got it going on, today I just feel alone and insignificant.
Thank you for being here.

[ZombieNixon]

2. ...

:pals:

[ceile]

3. Hang in there, marty!

Maybe she was having a bad day and didn't mean anything personal by it. Chin up! And maybe stop looking for a bit-good things pop up when you least expect them! :hug:

[martymar64]

7. Actually I haven't been looking for awhile

She was my first attempt at connecting with someone in several years. Maybe I'm just rusty. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

[skygazer]

4. Those days do suck

It's a scary feeling, too. I know. Just remember, you're not alone - if nothing else, you have a whacked out online community that will watch your back. :hug:

[martymar64]

8. Thanks for letting me know you're there!

I'll probably be OK in a few days. I just need to get through those few days. One day at a time, just like the alcoholics do.

[SKKY]

6. I went through a 10 month period just like you describe in 2003...

...in the Navy we call it a Deployment. I feel for you, but it's your responsibility
to pull yourself togther and get on with it. Because when you do meet that someone, you
going to thank yourself and say, "Wow, remember that time I was in a real bad way, and that
Navy dude responded to my post? Man, I'm glad I listened to him." Get up, get about, and
get on with it. It's the only way out of whatever it is you're in.

[martymar64]

9. Thanks Sailor! Your 100% right!

I have no choice but to get on with it. The alternative really stinks. I try to work on myself and it may one day pay off, but unfortunately today is just one of those days where I ask myself if I'm really just a chump.
This too, shall pass.

[SKKY]

10. We all do...

...and on some days the answer is, "Yes, I am a chump today." I just try to make sure I'm not a chump tomorrow as well. Then,
you start to see a disturbing trend developing. You'll be fine. Just the very fact that you're posting about it tells me
you're already almost over it!

[martymar64]

13. I don't know about being almost over it

Intellectually, I would agree, but emotionally I'm still hurting. I'm posting about it because I need to know I'm not alone. In the past, I'd just hold in my pain. That is much worse, it just made me physically ill (ulcers and headaches)and would take longer to go away. I'm usually back to my old self in a few days, maybe a week. The fact that you responded shows that you care, even for anonymous strangers. Thank you!

[crim son]

15. You are SO not alone!

I've been going through five months of depression hell since my relationship ended. Just before I read your post I looked at my watch and said to myself, "Man, I must be getting better because I haven't cried yet and it's almost 5:30." I am helpless to heal myself quickly so I've been doing what others have suggested for you: holding on one day at a time, moving about, making plans and occasionally, just taking the day off and staying in bed.

It doesn't help to rush yourself, and it doesn't help to feel bad about feeling bad. But I promise you that things will get better in time. :hug: :hug:

[martymar64]

17. Thanks Crim!

It'll get better, it's just the time until then that sucks. I used to see myself as self contained and not needing anyone, but I guess I'm wrong.

I'll keep going, though.

[idgiehkt]

11. yeah, the news is tough to follow these days.

I keep sticking my toe in LBN and GD and then I just can't stand it for longer than 5 minutes. For a year I did nothing but lurk in LBN everyday, I don't know how I did that. I can't do it right now. The bottom fell out of my mood yesterday, I mean I felt it. I was sitting there and in the course of about three hours I was in the black pit of despair. It's so weird when that happens, I can identify with feeling the slide down. I don't feel that way today though so maybe just hang on and get through the day and tomorrow will be better. Slap me for that one, sorry, I know it's such a cliche...I think I just heard Wilson Phillips in the background, lol. But it is true.

[martymar64]

14. I knew it! I'm not alone!

I've been avoiding LBN lately, I just end up getting upset and saying something stupid.
Even Wilson Phillips can be wise occasionally. Thank you!

[Writer]

12. I'm so sorry... here's what I suggest:

First, you need to be good to yourself. Allow yourself time to just sit down and completely indulge in activities that do nothing but make you happy. Is there a good book you're reading? A movie you enjoy watching? A particular drive you like to take? Whatever it is, don't merely do it, but let yourself sink into the activity and enjoy. Make it YOUR time.

Second, start looking at what you can do proactively in the future that can enhance your life, even a little bit. Do you belong to a club? Church? Social group? Do you like hobbies like painting? Writing? Taking a class?

Third, and most importantly, JOURNAL. Pop open a Word document and start writing down all your thoughts - including those on the war and corruption you read online. You'll be shocked by how easily you can gain clarity simply through writing.

I know this sounds so much easier written than done, but I can assure you that after dealing with depression for twenty years myself, this has been the only way I have been able to progress in life. And we are here as a possible social network, so you certainly are NOT alone!

Take care,

Writer.

[martymar64]

16. Thanks Writer!

Although I don't like to admit it, I've been dealing with depression for many years also.
I do have activities that I like to do, but I haven't been doing them lately. I'm trying to get back into my old career of film/video editing and my slow progress is part of what's making me depressed.

Your second point is really what I need to work on. Up until very recently, I used to move around alot geographically, extremely nomadic. Although it is exciting to move to a new place every year or so, it's been hellish on my social life. I've been feeling like an eternal stranger, never being around to get to know people and develop friendships and relationships. I really need to expand my social network. I'm trying to stay in one place for awhile but its not easy, the urge to flee is always there.

I have been writing a journal, it does help. I'm sure I'll be writing in it tonight.

Thank you Writer,I appreciate your input, I'll keep trying.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

18. Have you every tried...

taking fish oil or flax seed oil to help with your mood? I have battled depresson for years, mostly successfully with therapy and (a few times) meds. One thing I used that really helped was flax seed oil -- it's lube for the brain -- a tablespoon or so a day had a very positive effect on my mood. (Since I am a vegetarian I take flax instead of fish oil.)It usually took about a week after starting for me to start feeling a difference. It worked best for me when my mood was down, but not so down that I really need to be on meds.

It is completely natural, with no bad side effects. Most good health food stores with have either the oil or capsules.

It might be worth trying it -- it can only help. :hi:

[martymar64]

19. Thanks for the advice!

It's worth a try.

[martymar64]

20. Thanks to everyone!

I've heard great advice, tough love, and solidarity.

I have to go home now, I don't have internet there yet (just moved in).

Thank you to all of you that have let me know that I am definitely not alone out here.

Goodnight and good vibes to all.

[mvd]

21. Hi, marymar64

I understand completely. I've been quite down about the state of the U.S. and the world, and on top of that, my grandfather died recently (and suddenly - 6 hours from when he went into the hospital.) He was 89, but I talked to him almost every day, and it's hard. My advice is simple: to keep busy with activities. And also to cry when you have to: it really makes you feel better. I'm optimistic about the tide changing this November, with us taking back at least one house of Congress. It might also make you feel better to feel you are doing something for the world, through volunteering or donating.

Good luck! :hi:

[flaminbats]

22. rejection always hurts..but hang in there!

if she didn't come, she's the loser because of it. Everyone gets snubbed, but those who keep trying get something better with time. ;)

[amitten]

23. Might I suggest Taco Cabana?

Cheap food and booze.

Always cheers ME up. And the music is hap-hap-happy!!! :D

[martymar64]

24. Thanks for the suggestion!

I've been in Austin for almost a year this time around and I've never been to Taco Cabana! Or Joe's Crab Shack either! I'll have to check them out. My favorite locally has been Star of India on Anderson.

I just had a good night's sleep and I'm feeling a little better. I watched a few episodes of The Young Ones and did some journal writing. But for the long term, I need to get out and meet more people. Hopefully I can find a venue to get together with my fellow Austin DUers, maybe something like a meetup or drinking liberally event. I'm much better in person. I'll have to check the Texas forum and see what's going on.