Do you think it is rude for relatives to invite themselves over?

[Haole Girl]

I think it is, but hubby thinks relatives have certain "rights," which allow them to simply announce their arrival(s) just prior to showing up at our doorstep.. at any given time they please! It's so annoying. If I wanted to be around people today, or any specific time in history, I would have invited people over. Do you know what I mean?

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

1. Its different with some families I guess.

My family is close. My aunt , my cousins and my cousins newborn baby just came over uninvited and we had no problem with it.

[Haole Girl]

2. I usually don't, but it gets old sometimes...

I guess I would just rather they asked first.

[hfojvt]

3. I'm pretty sure we're 9th cousins

I'll be right over. Do you have any good snacks?

[Haole Girl]

5. Very funny. No! I'm all out of food!! ha!

:)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

4. I really think they need to ask first if it's OK........

And leave it up to you!

I mean, they can suggest it........but you decide......:shrug:

[Haole Girl]

7. Seems reasonable to me Peggy!

:)

[MoseyWalker]

6. I think it's rude

but then I tend to be a hermit most of the time when not working, so.........whadda I know?

[Haole Girl]

8. Do you have a job which deals with people all day?

Mine does...and to be honest, I need some quiet time on the weekends!

[MoseyWalker]

10. Yes

and I need my time to re-energize. People will wear a person down!

[Haole Girl]

12. Yes they will!

Sometimes, I don't think people even know the toll they can take on people who work with the public.

[Nikia]

9. Although, I would want advanced notification

Mainly because we aren't good housekeepers or might have other plans added to the fact that we live a good distance away from my relatives, as a child, we dropped over to my grandparents and aunts and uncles often unannounced or after a phone call shortly before leaving for their place.
Not too long ago, my grandparents even left their doors unlocked while they were there during the day and said it was alright if we (grandchildren and children) just walked in without knocking.

[skygazer]

11. In my family, we mostly call first

But that may fall into the category of announcing arrival just prior to showing up because it's usually one of these - "Hey, are you busy? I was going to stop by."

I've never minded that. If I really am busy, I tell them but most of the time I don't care and am glad to see whoever it is. It's different with non-family for me because I generally don't want non-family to see my house a mess or me in my bathrobe or the sink full of dishes. But I don't care if family sees any of that.

[Haole Girl]

13. Well....I better go straighten things up in the house!

See 'ya! :hi:

[politicat]

14. Depends on the relative, but usually, yes.

I think I have one in the many hundreds that I don't mind just showing up.

My mother just did this for October - told me she's coming and I better just cope.

There's a reason I live 1000 miles away from any relative, and if they keep just showing up, I'm going to move even further away.

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Depends on the family

In my family, one just shows up.

Other families, it is not so.

Neither way has any more moral or ethical weight than the other.

[Nicole]

16. It's not rude and it's not rude when I don't open the door either

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. It's totally rude for ANYONE to do that, related or not.

It's rude and annoying. :grr:

My opinion. I wouldn't do it to anyone else.

[WindRavenX]

19. I agree

Just phone and ask-- I probably will say 'come on over!'

[ContraBass Black]

18. Depends on convention within the family.

[YankeyMCC]

20. Ah the dreaded "drop in"

That's why it's good to have a buffer zone :)

[yvr girl]

21. My parents dropped by once, and I wouldn't buzz them up

I went down to visit with them for a few minutes, but I didn't invite them in.

[SeattleGirl]

22. I don't like it at all, especially on weekends.

My in-laws are infamous for that. Well, to be fair, it's mostly my FIL who is the "drop-in-er". But I basically put the kibosh on that kind of thing several years ago. One Sunday, MrSG was out, and I was lounging around in my jammies when my MIL called and said they were on their way over to my BIl's house, but they wanted to stop by our house first. The house was a bit cluttered -- nothing major -- but I had not showered, still in my jammies as I said, and did NOT want company. So I said no. I was very nice about it, and my MIL was fine with it. When I told MrSG, he was initially upset -- he and his siblings just never said no to their parent's drop-in's. I told him, hey, you weren't here, I was, and I did not feel like company. Now he's very glad I did that, because the in-laws never just drop in. I set a boundary and they respect it. I'm not saying they are not welcome in our home; they certainly are, and sometimes stay with us when the come to town. But they don't just show up. And I don't do that to other people either. I think it's rude.

[Fox Mulder]

23. I think it's rude.

So does everyone else in my family.

My grandma has a nasty habit of showing up unannounced.

[auntAgonist]

24. I don't mind company unannounced.

Having said that, no one ever comes here because we don't have relatives living near by and we pretty much keep to ourselves. In my former life (1st marriage) we always had people dropping in. We lived in a small community, family was close by and always welcomed. We didn't always invite them to stay for a meal, but did more times than not. I really miss that :( My husband is no where near as social a creature as I am and he likes it that we don't have company very often. He has a brother about 1hour from here and he and his wife come when invited. I think it's a distance thing, they don't want to just drive down and find that no one is home. :shrug: I enjoyed having a houseful at times.

aA
kesha