Stupidest, most embarassing thing you ever did while DRUNK.

[Philosoraptor]

I'll go first:

Double date with my buddy and two students from the music dept, we made mexican dinner from scratch, drank whiskey and played congas. last thing i remember was singing la bamba and banging away like ricky ricardo thinking i was cool and checking out my date.

a gray fog, a mud colored sun setting...the silence of the grave and I awaken in bed alone in a lake of cold vomit stinking of whiskey and my pal looking at me in disgust and telling me a whole day had gone by, and that i had projectile puked on my date, much to her dismay. I made such a bad impression, that the BOTH girls went home leaving my buddy to listen to me wretch and die all night long.

I never did see that girl again, and my buddy and me soon parted ways too.

[datasuspect]

1. got thrown off an amtrak train in a cornfield in bumfuck missouri

[JackBeck]

2. Well, as a former bartender, I have plenty.

But a few weeks ago, this one tops them all.

My guy and I finally found a bar that has our favorite tap beer, Bass (which seems to be incognito these days around here). The Subway Series was on at this new bar we found and I'm a Mets fan and the owners, who were the only other ones there with one of the owners' 10 year old son, were cheering for the Yankees. They're sitting in front of the bar at the outdoor seating watching the game when I need a smoke break. The game's getting pretty intense, the Mets are letting a huge lead go to waste, when the 10 year old remarks how the Mets are just "a bunch of fatties". After about 5 beers, I thought the kid called the Mets "a bunch of FAGOTS". So I decided to confront the kids dad by saying, "You let your kid use language like that?" Confusion ensued all around, with this 10 year old looking at me, like, WTFAYTA? Dad actually said to me, at one point, "Dude. We're not like that!" I was soo embarrassed that I couldn't stop apologizing. We left there soon after, but the owner wants me t come back so he can buy me a drink. It ended up pretty cool, but I'm still embarrassed to this day.

[fudge stripe cookays]

3. Puked all over the Kerr Hall elevator. And myself!

First major college partying experience...Denton, Texas August 1984.

Needless to say, I did not mix liquor varieties after that lesson.

[Reverend_Smitty]

4. Fell in down in a public bathroom a few times

and heard the dreaded "ma'am if you don't compose yourself we're gonna have to call management in here" I was helped out of the bar, almost falling a few more times...once I was in the car puked on my own shoulder to avoid puking in the car. But I gotta give myself credit all the vomit ended up on me and the side of the road. No rugs needed shampooing that time.


Another time when I was in college I was stumbling home from dollar beer night when I tripped on a curb chasing after my roommate and ended up falling into a bush, and ended up giving myself a nasty little scar on the bridge of my nose.

Yeah I do stupid shit when I'm drunk :P

[QuestionAll...]

5. lost a husband.

but there's plenty more where he came from.

not really. just being an ass.

[crim son]

6. Entertained two clueless men in the same building but in different rooms.

That itself, I considered a challenge at the time. It was the events of the following days that made it ridiculously stupid.

[Mojambo]

7. Put on a Betty Boop mask and danced on top of a pinball machine. n/t

[Ptah]

26. That was you?

[WCGreen]

8. Was parking cars for a Fund Raiser for a local Congressional

candidate in 1978...

Rosalyn Carter was the featured guest...

Me and this guy named Kenny were pullin' back more than a few swigs of Jack...

I blacked out...

Came out of it about 30 miles away, on a pier out over Buckeye Lake...

I was in a fight with this guy, I went in the water, lost my glasses...

Turns out we were at the candidates cabin by the lake...

My clothes were in the dryer...

All I ad on was a towell...

I got up on a table and started dancing...

Next thing I know, I am standing naked on a street in columbus...

No glasses...

Blind as a bat without my glasses...

I had to shimmy up the pole in order to read the street sign...

Found out I was on the other side of High Street, three streets up from Frat Row...

I had about twelve blocks to get to my house...

I didn't have shoes... Urban environment... Glass, bottle caps...

I didn't have my keys either...

Long streak, about 3/4 miles...

Made it home, had to break a window to get in...

Shook me up so much I actually quit drinking for about two weeks...

[crim son]

12. That reminds me. I went on a date with a rich guy

who claimed to "love" me. He'd pursued me for two years and I continually spurned him because of reverse snobbery. Anyhow, I finally agreed to go on a date with him. Dinner, and then an evening with Jay Leno. I was so nervous about having to dress up and be dignified that I drank myself into a stupor over dinner. I vaguely remember finding my seat at the Jay Leno deal. My next memory is of me puking in the toilet back at my crappy apartment. Dear Dave never again wanted to have a thing to do with me. Right now he's an editor at SportsCar Magazine. He spends his life driving around in beautiful vehicles. I AM A MORON!

[WCGreen]

14. Oh I pissed away opprotunity after opprotunity.....

Because I couldn't pass up a drink...

Now, well the opprotunities have passed me by...

But I am able to pass the drink and stare life in the face - stone cold sober....

[crim son]

24. I think of my current drinking as a response to pain I can't live with.

In my past life I drank almost never, and I will be the same once all this shit passes under the bridge.

It's a fine thing and one which requires great strength, to give up the addiction. You are something else my friend.

[OzarkDem]

43. That he is!

He may not brag about it, but he helps others, too.

[OzarkDem]

42. I remember that story

Its a classic.

[WeRQ4U]

9. It was the most ridiculous night of my life...

We went to a party with some of my more "fun" friends and we:

Took residence in a neighborhood camper for a half hour or so...without his/her permission;
Climbed about 100 feet into the air on a radio tower;
Was nearly arrested when my friend stole a fire extinguisher from an apartment complex;
Was nearly killed by a couple residents of said apartment complex after being released by police;
Walked home from party which was about 5 miles away;
Decided to take a detour through the construction of Englestad arena to get a look in the window;
Security guard caught us and we had to run through an adjacent field...buddy lost his sandle while hurdling the fence;
We were locked in by the English Coulee surrounding the site as police shined spotlights over us;
Seriously considered fording the dusgusting English Coulee to escape;
Finally made it home to find out that our other roommate had stolen a stopsign from a nearby street.

We sucked.

[SammyWinstonJack]

10. OH YUCK! Who could top that? really?

:yoiks:

[Ptah]

11. Turned my motorcycle into the path of a full size Ford LTD.

I'm glad I don't do that anymore.

And glad to have survived.

:thumbsup:

[swag]

13. We must never speak of it again.

[Ptah]

15. What a tease.

[datasuspect]

17. "your actions at last night's chicago real estate bigwig function

were beyond the pale. do you remember what you said?"

"i'm sure it wasn't something appropriate."

"you're damn right about that! you got up on the stage and YELLED, "hell yeah, c-b-muthafuckin' ellis dude!!!!!""

"ugh"

"we can't have people representing our company that way."

"i truly regret my actions and will take full responsibility for what i have done."

[RetroLounge]

16. Lived in Chicago, went downtown drinking

Told my wife i'd be home late.

blacked out, came to a couple of days later, with a 19 yr old girl with a mohawk.

...In Milwaukee.

Just kinda stayed here, never went home...

RL

[datasuspect]

18. used to work in downtown chicago

and my childhood hoodlum friends lived near 21st and damen.

went to kinzie street chophouse after work and proceeded to drink 10 or more tumblers of makers and coke within less than an hour and a half.

last thing i remember was hailing a cab by merchandise mart. i swirled into the seat and blacked out.

came to around 2 am, in the old neighborhood, with one gangland chum about to whip my ass because i had been running around the neighborhood (in my suit and tie) starting shit with all kinds of people. still had my leather portfolio in my hand.

i told him, "what the fuck are you talking about?" another guy walks up and says, "bro, man you need to chill. i almost kicked your fucking ass back there."

we ended up drinking beer until about 9 am saturday morning.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

19. We must never speak of it again.

[LostInAnomie]

20. Stole a bulldozer

Then proceeded to get it hung up in a coal flat.

[Monk06]

27. I'd buy tickets to that !!!!

[liberaltrucker]

21. Took a whiz on a cop car

Seriously.

:beer:

[Ptah]

23. Yeehaw!

:toast:

[Seabiscuit]

22. Posted something really, really bad on DU.

Got warned by the mods.

Made me swear never to post drunk again.

[Literate Tar Heel]

25. well, it wasn't me, but...

when I was just out of college, I was working as the assistant manager of a pizza delivery place in Chapel Hill ... I was awakened by a phone call one Saturday morning at 7:00 am ... I answer it and it's the store manager (only a couple years older than me -- we used to go "blow it out" together frequently on the bar scene) ... he's a wreck ... he tells me "I'm at the store and nobody is here!!!" ... he's completely freaking out ... I'm like "well, why would there be?" ... he just keeps telling me that no one is at the store and wants to know what happened ... I'm like "Chuck, why would you expect anyone to be there??" ... he starts calming down and tells me a story that involves him going out drinking on Franklin St., getting trashed, getting kicked out of Linda's (a bar ... I had actually been kicked out of there with him before), ending up passed out in some bushes off Rosemary St. a couple blocks away ... eventually we get to the fact that he woke up in the bushes in a sort of half-daylight, he looked at his watch, saw it was 7:00, walked over to the store (also on Franklin St.), discovered there was no one there, freaked out, and called me ... I'm like "OK, then, um... again, why are you calling me about no one being at the store at 7:00 on a Saturday morning?!!?" ... Chuck: "um ... morning?" ... finally it dawns on me that he thinks he has slept in the bushes all the way to 7:00 Saturday evening and is therefore understandably distressed about the fact that the store is locked up and empty ... long story short, I got a free breakfast out of it, but had to take a nap Saturday afternoon before going in to work Saturday evening (when it was actually open and there were people there)

[Monk06]

28. Snuck aboard a British fuel tender during the Falkland Islands war...

I was on the West Coast so they were way out
of theater. Anyway no one was aboard cause the
crew were ashore getting drunk. The only crew
left behind were confined to ship for brawling
the night before.

My BIL and I got down to the seventh deck before
we were made by a panicked engineer.

The we were handed over to a midshipman who was
confined to quarters for the previous nights
festivities.

The only reason we got off the ship unharmed is
that the three remaining crew didn't want to get
into deeper shit than they already were.

[mykpart]

29. I'm surprised!

I counted and only four posts involved vomiting.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

30. Ach, who can remember such foolishness

now for the cajones award, who has done something this stupid sober?

[Submariner]

31. Bounced a cop on the beat off my fender

While partying in Lake George, NY was turning the corner with my 3 friends in the car and hit a cop that just walked across the street in front of me and knocked him into the bushes (I didn't even see him, they shouldn't wear dark blue uniforms in the dark I tell ya!). I was taken into custody and my car impounded.

The cop had a big bruise on his thigh and was limping around the police station while another cop was getting ready to book me for drunk driving and hitting a cop with my car.

Within 15 minutes I was let free with no charges and with a promise I would not drive anymore that night after they got my car out of impoundment. The reason; it was 1967 and I was home on leave from the service and the cops would not write up me or my buddies because we we're all active duty military, with a couple of the guys leaving for Vietnam in a week, and they were presently dealing with "longhairs" (code for hippies in the '60s) in town and couldn't live with themselves locking up military types.

I don't think I would be treated that way today.

[Skittles]

48. damn, Submariner!

now THAT is a story! :o

[Joey Liberal]

32. Pissed on myself

That was a rough night:)...........

[Elidor]

33. I tried to walk from Athens to Atlanta

I'm not sure of the exact mileage, it's probably about 80 miles or so. A friend and I had gone there to bar-hop. Once we were properly shitfaced, we got into an argument. I wagged my finger at him, emphasizing a point, and he tried to tear it off my hand. I had just enough sense left to avoid fighting (because getting thrown out of bars is beneath me), so I walked out of the bar and tried to walk back to Atlanta. Totally forgetting that he had given me his car keys, hehe. I remember walking a bit, and then I blacked out and woke up lying on my back with blood all over my face, looking up at a very solicitous cop who said, "Just lie there and rest, Mr. Hardhead, the ambulance is on its way." Woke up in a hospital in a puke-covered gown. I changed back into my clothes and slipped out the door and started calling friends collect for a ride back to Atlanta. Ugh. It was those blue papa smurfs that did me in. Well, that and stupidity. Dollar shooters are a bad thing.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

34. Someone I had no interest in.

Drinking usually get me umm....relaxed, so I generally say that it's better for me to be drinking only with a person I'm in a relationship with. I'm usually a woman who gets what I want, so it's better for me to just not get to the point of wanting it in the wrong situation.

Twice I've thrown up (once at 18) and the last time was a couple of years ago (and over 30), so I really should have known better.

[Maine-ah]

35. I set my self on fire.

yep, I was lighting a smoke with a match, and apparentley while shaking the match, it fell out of my hand (which I didn't even notice), it didn't go out and landed on my sweater. A few minutes later, my husband is yelling at me, and I look down and I'm going "holy shit, look I'm on fire!" LOL, oh, those were the days......

[NewWaveChick1981]

36. Never actually been drunk, but my friends have.

I've been tipsy once or twice, but not actually drunk. :) When I was in my freshman year at college, one of my dorm friends had been out at a bar with me and about six other girls from our dorm. (This was back when the legal drinking age for beer and wine in NC was 18). This was one of the only times I ever went to a bar there (IIRC, there were three times). On our way back to the dorm, one girl, who was extremely intoxicated, decided she really had to pee. The only device available besides bushes was the water fountain at the Old Well at UNC-Chapel Hill. (It was halfway between the bar and our dorm.) So she climbed up and somehow got a footing on the water fountain bowl and dropped her pants. Everyone else was laughing, and in mid-pee, she nearly fell off. The bowl broke her fall, but I don't even wanna tell you where the water spout ended up. :yoiks: To this day, I will NOT drink out of that water fountain. :scared:

[Tracer]

37. I wasn't exactly drunk, but ...

... I had had a glass of wine.

It was at night and I went to a neighboring town's high school for an event. Had never been there before and turned by mistake onto a pitch black back entrance that was on the side of a hill.

Looking to my right between two buildings, I could see down to the lighted parking lot below. The way through the two buildings looked like a driveway (remember - it was extremely dark!)

So, I turned right to go down the driveway and discovered to my horror that my front wheels had discovered STEPS!

I couldn't back up off the steps, no matter how hard I tried --- so I had no other choice than to bumpety-bump down the steps to the parking lot.

Needless to say, there were people in the lot watching this asinine play.

It was the most humiliating experience of my life.

[idgiehkt]

38. sigh...

Worst moment ever was when I got a job at a gas station while intoxicated (really, I could barely fill out the application but they hired me anyway) and then partied all night, showed up to work at 6:00 a.m., passed out in the bathroom and when I came to couldn't fathom where in the hell I was so I just sat on the floor to scared to open the door and find out. It really wasn't the worst thing I did at all, but that moment, coupled with the time I nearly ran over a pedestrian, stands out for some reason. Because most people don't get jobs while they are on a bender, I guess. The period from '86 to '92 was one long embarassing moment filled with plenty of puking, some public urination, a few seizures here and there, a lot of waking up next to strangers that finally segued into me getting help. Good on the people that can do it (drink) but I can't. I can honestly say I gave it my best shot, lol.

[grannylib]

39. At an outdoor party; no potties...went to pee behind a large tree and

ended up walking all the way around it instead of half-way, so there I am peeing in front of God and everyone, and ended up losing my balance and rolling down a hill with my undies around my ankles.

[bertha katzenengel]

40. Age 24 and seriously effed up -- besides being drunk.

I called a sex recording line, back when they were all 976 numbers. At the time, I was renting a room in the home of some very kind fundamentalist Christians. I often want to apologize, but so far I am too lazy to look them up.

[fizzgig]

41. got a few

can't decide if it was when i puked all over the inside of my friend's new car or all over the couch at the bar and they had to carry me out to the cab

i've had a few falls, but in light of all i've done that isn't as bad

[ZombieNixon]

44. Puked in the back of a taxicab.

From what I was told subsequently, I was fucking *trashed*, yet I managed to direct the cab driver to the nearest ATM, get out of the car, withdraw $100, give it to him and apologize profusely.

My next memory is of waking up lying in front of my dorm room door, being prodded by the girl in the next room, and she and her roommate helped me back inside. I was...very affectionate towards both of them (the next day, one of them called me her "hero" :shrug:).

Strangely enough, I didn't have a hangover the next morning, and I'd had a couple of beer and about three full glasses of lemoande mixed with Everclear.

It's nights like those (and the infamous coffee mug full of vodka in five seconds incident), that teach you your limit. Never going back there again. :scared:

[Skittles]

46. OK thanks Z

I was going to inquire about the size of the tip!!!

[graywarrior]

45. Where do I begin? At my last drunk.....

I was a custodian at a catholic church on the north shore in MA. The 2 nuns working there invited me to the CYO parents dinner. Why? Unbeknownsed to me, to have one more drinking buddy with them.

One nun was an Elvis FREAK. We went to the Lyceum in Salem, MA a well known gay bar. I started slamming down Black Russians. Soon I was up on a table doing Elvis impersonations...bad ones. Next thing I remember, I'm driving home, seated between the 2 sisters trying not to puke and totally freaked out by the Blessed Mother statue on the dashboard.

I don't remember the rest of the night, I may have puked my guts out. But the following Sunday, as I went about my custodial duties, the church lobby bulletin board was filled with photos of the event including me up on the table with a guitar (where the hell that came from, I have no idea).

That was in Feb, '87. I joined AA that month. Been sober since.

[calico1]

47. I don't remember.....

which is why I don't ever drink enough to get drunk anymore.

[tuvor]

49. Got pulled over by the cops, went on an antisemitic tirade...

...called a female cop "sugartits".

You know. The stuff that happens to all of us now and then.