RAPTURE ROLL CALL PLEASE!! Who survived the Rapture?

[LynneSin]

According to the Rapturists I gues August 3rd was some day they figured was highly likely that the rapture occured. Now while driving to work I passed not one but TWO abandoned cars, so I'm guessing perhaps maybe the Rapture did happen although those 2 cars weren't really anything I'd take since one was all dented up from what looked like an accident and the other had a tire lock on it too.

So let's take a roll call of who was 'Left Behind'

[Deep13]

1. I was NOT captured by ghosts.

[ThomCat]

26. I think I saw a few ghosts

but that might have been the combination of meds. Either way, I wasn't captured either. All hail the sane survivors!
:hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

2. Here! I was Left Behind.

I didn't see any floating fundies yesterday, though. :P Hey, wait----it was my father-in-law's 80th birthday and the 40th birthday of a good friend. Maybe that's a sign....

[billyskank]

3. Everyone I know is still here

Either the rapture didn't happen, or where I work we are a right load of sinful bastards. :D

[NewWaveChick1981]

6. I just think the fundies have their dates wrong.

I mean, if they used the right calendar, they'd probably see that any sort of Rapture activity would be a couple of million years off. :rofl: Since they don't believe in evolution, the idea of that time frame is just alien to them!

[billyskank]

7. In fact if they ever read the BIBLE once in a while

instead of all this modern nonsense from people who just want their money and support, they might actually learn a thing or two about THEIR OWN religion...

:D

[NewWaveChick1981]

13. No kidding! It's amazing how ignorant most fundies are of

their own religion. :eyes: Hell, I know more about their religion than the majority of them! That's the ignorant, rigid mindset that is the hallmark of intolerance.

:* :hi:

[billyskank]

14. Does the waving smiley mean you are off now?

:* :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

23. Sadly, I'm still awake.

:eyes: Electrician is still here. He's replacing the motor on our attic fan. It's too hot in the house without it, so I'll put up with it a little while longer. (It draws the hot air out of the attic so that the AC doesn't work overtime trying to cool the house.)

:*

[billyskank]

34. Noooooooo!

Well, I guess you need your fan. :hug:

[NewWaveChick1981]

66. Just woke up from my nap a short while ago.

I feel much better now! :hug: :hi:

[billyskank]

76. Good

:loveya:

:*

[LynneSin]

35. Electrician? I hope it's not the f***ing A/C

OH MY

[NewWaveChick1981]

67. No, the f***ing A/C is just fine. It's the attic exhaust fan that

had gone kaput. That keeps the hot air at a minimum in the attic so that the f***ing A/C doesn't have to work so hard. The fan apparently died while I was in Boston, and the house has stayed hotter because of it. After the electrician fixed it this morning, the house has stayed a lot cooler. :)

It was well worth it to have the fan fixed! :hi: And after my nappy nap, I'm a lot better. :D

[miss_american_pie]

4. I'm still here

what a surprise. ;)

[billyskank]

5. I wouldn't want to go to any heaven where you weren't invited

:hi:

[miss_american_pie]

12. oh darling

thank you :hug:

And the feeling is mutual. :loveya:

[XemaSab]

19. .

:puke:

[Burma Jones]

8. I'm here, but my Chia Pet has mysteriously disappeared

[LynneSin]

9. Your ch-ch-ch-chia was rap-rap-rap-rapturized

:woohoo:

[billyskank]

11. Lynne, you came over all 1980s hip-hop for a moment there

:D

[GalleryGod]

10. All Sample's Fault...she couldn't get the car started !

[Cannikin]

15. I'm still kickin'

[Random_Australian]

16. How I repent my evil athiest ways! I must endure a planet without fundies!

Oh no!

What a pity

O8)

:7

[Ramsey]

17. I'm in heaven now

And I notice you are not here, Ms. Sin! :evilgrin:

[LynneSin]

22. I thought you didn't believe in God - how the hell did you get there

:grr:

And damn - heaven has internet access too

[Ramsey]

38. All that good clean living!!

God obviously doesn't discriminate against us non-believers as long as we follow the basic rules!

Anyway, it's boring up here, I'm coming back down!

[LynneSin]

40. Oh no - we don't want you back

Obviously if you were Rapturized you're no longer the Ramsey we have all come to know and love. Perhaps living in Florida amongst people who support Jeb Bush is starting to warp your brain. I almost bet you and your husband probably already have season passes to Holyland Park in Orlando

[Ramsey]

45. Do you see why you're not in heaven!

You are just not very nice!

:cry:

[LynneSin]

47. BTW, I'm claiming your car since you don't need it anymore

Woohoo!!!!

[Ramsey]

48. Like Hell!

Argo is here with me....

Whoops, the archangel just informed me that I really must leave now. Apparently we are not allowed to say "hell" in heaven. Go figure. :shrug:

[XemaSab]

18. I survived!

:bounce:

[leftyladyfrommo]

20. Wasn't anything about it on our news yesterday.

Guess that means the Midwest got left out.

[Pierre.Suave]

21. I am here

still.

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. This is MrG.... Has anyone seen MrsGrumpy?

:shrug: anyone?

[qnr]

31. Probably hiding in fear due to all the overdue projects :) n/t

[billyskank]

36. EEK!

MrG is on DU! He might see all my flirting! :scared:

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. Eek!

:hug: No worries! :hug:

[billyskank]

54. Phew!

:rofl:


:hug:

[bigwillq]

25. Survivor checking in!

:hi:

[Patiod]

27. Most of my company must have been raptured up

Either that, or they're on vacation

The people who are usually in the pool on the roof of the apartment building across the street apparantly have been raptured up as well. I'll let you know if they come out this afternoon. (Note, the chick lifeguard wasn't raptured up -- I hadn't noticed earlier because I don't keep the same watch on lifeguard comings and goings as I did when they had young stud muffins in low-slung lifeguard shorts employed there last year. Whew! Is it getting hot in here all of a sudden?)

[GalleryGod]

50. THIRTY-FIVE, BABY !

[Patiod]

81. And that's where it ends

But hey, we beat the Mets, and that fat little kid in the orange shirt they kept showing behind the batter is home crying, which is kinda cool.

Did I mention how much I hate the Mets? And did I mention the time that my friend and I went straight to a game from work, where 4 Mets fans cursed and yelled and drank and cursed 3 rows behind us for 9 innings? And then, driving up Broad Street on the way back to my car, who pulls up and asks direction of the 2 nice-looking girls in business attire....but the 4 Mets fans.

I don't know how it happened, but my friend, a good human being, somehow screwed up and told them they need to head up Broad to Lehigh, turn right on Lehigh, and the entrance to 95 was about 4 blocks ahead - they couldn't miss it. We're wondering if they're still up there, driving around....

[huskerlaw]

28. Oh, did I miss it??

As you can imagine, things don't look much different here in godless liberal Los Angeles. I need to get my ass down to Orange County and claim some of those empty mansions though!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

29. Here I am.

But then, heathen sinner that I am, I didn't expect to be snarfed up to heaven with the fundies.

My heathen cats are still here, too, but that's fine. I wouldn't want to be raptured without them.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

30. They didn't want anything to do with me, I guess!

OH well!

I was even halfway there.......in the plane!

And still they didn't want me! :cry:
















:P

[LSK]

32. maybe

Im still at work which can be hell sometimes.

[Beer Snob-50]

33. I was left behind

it must have to do with the satanic music I listened to as a youth (black sabbath et al)

[ChickMagic]

37. I was left behind

I'll see you all in hell! Woo hoo! Beer volcano!

[Mad_Dem_X]

39. I'm still here

guess I didn't live as good a life as I thought! LOL

[Deep13]

42. Most of the Evangelical Christians in my office are still here.

These folks are not obnoxious nor do I have any particular reason to suppose they are part of the uber-Fundy rapture-ready crowd. At least some of them, including the boss, are Democrats. Still, they're Evangelicals and were not assumed into heaven. I guess only the super-crazy variety is good enough to avoid the Lake of Fire (tm).

[LynneSin]

55. The rapture is not a Christian-wide belief

and it's very common to find Evangelicals who support the Democrats.

The rapturiests are really a small subset of people who for some strange reason believe that the Left Behind Series, Chick Tracks and a few bible verses have some how made up the rapture.

As a Christian I find them repulsive

[Deep13]

56. "...common to find Evangelicals who support the Democrats..."

Especially in Ohio. My employer is an Evangelical and an elected Democratic official who is very active in fundraising for D campaigns.

[WolverineDG]

60. Only the super-crazy actually believe that crap

says dg, the Christian :)

[xmas74]

43. I was left behind,

as were all of my Pentecostal and AoG relatives. Even my Nazarine relatives are still here today.

Either the Rapture didn't happen or they were really bad.

[LostinVA]

44. Lesbians are ALWAYS "Left Behind"

[LynneSin]

57. Something wrong with the Right Behind

or are you lesbians discriminating against the Right behind.

Myself, I prefer considering the entire behind and not just half of it

(ok that was my bad joke of the day)

[LostinVA]

80. The Right Behind is just TOO gay

[havocmom]

46. Me 'n my fundie neighbors are here

They are lookin pretty embarassed. I warned them they needed to stop bein mean to the dogs. ;)

[Dukkha]

49. two coworkers didn't show up today

but they're non believing heathens so maybe they're just drunk . I noticed the fundie morans are all present. Where's your messiah now!

[TrogL]

51. Anybody seen WillPitt?

[sarge43]

52. I stayed behind just to see all the Bad Shit that going to happen

So, where is it? (Yeah, I know there's bad shit going on, but so what else is new?)

I'm talking BAD SHIT here: Blood and frogs, locusts and flies, cats and dogs living together, tax audits, visiting relatives, rampaging hordes of snotty teenagers, trapped forever inside the Big Dig or in the screaming baby line at the supermarket, George Bush giving a press conference ...

I.am.disappointed.:grr:

[ZombieNixon]

53. I'm still here.

But hopefully Freeperville is now deserted...this place is a lot more fun without the people. :7

[Fox Mulder]

58. I'm still here...

[meegbear]

59. I'm still here

:cry:

[WolverineDG]

61. I wasn't

and it appears the nutjobs weren't either....dammit.

dg

[billyskank]

62. "I'm sorry, I can't come into work today. I've been raptured.

No, I don't think I'll be in on Monday either." :D

[zcflint09]

63. It didn't go down last night--I got a Myspace message from Jesus

He said it got posponed till next month-no big deal they just didn't have everything set up in heaven yet. They've still got a disco ball on backorder and a few TV monitors that haven't come in yet. Also, it's so hot up there they don't want to overcrowd.

[auburngrad82]

64. Crap. I was putting songs on my Ipod and must have missed the bus

I wonder though...

With all of the chosen swept away to Heaven, does that mean us Dems will have an unsurmountable majority in November?

Once can only hope...



Liberal bumper stickers

[SeattleGirl]

65. Still present and accounted for!

I am a bit disappointed, though -- I was sort of looking forward to not having to deal with the whacko fundies any more. Damn!

[catmandu57]

68. I'm still here

Even my born again hairdresser is still here, she even gave me a good cut.

[Guava Jelly]

69. I am in heaven you sodomites and sinners

yall should have fuckin repented :rofl:
just kidden

[u4ic]

70. I'm always forgotten

:cry:

[Guava Jelly]

71. Never u4ic

your just on a later flight :)

[u4ic]

72. Ooh, then maybe that means

more elbow room. :toast:

[Guava Jelly]

74. hell yeah!!!

first class even :)

[u4ic]

75. More bags of peanuts for me, too! n/t

[billyskank]

77. Pfffft

:loveya:

[u4ic]

78. Hey you

:loveya:

If it means being forgotten by the fundies, I'm all for it. :D :bounce:

[LanternWaste]

73. Not me!

Not me! I was taken about 4:30 yesterday afternoon (which was nice, 'cause it was really hot!).

Anyway, we're hanging around just inside the Pearly Gates at a local internet kiosk (so I can still log onto DU).

I know, I know-- there's a lot of questions you'd like to have answered but we're going to play golf in an hour. So here's some of the biggies...

1. God *is* a liberal, but Jesus is actually a registered member of the Green Party (he uses the psuedonym of Paddy Dimsdale when voting).

2. Comedy Central is usually on up here, but sometimes He'll change it to Home & Garden TV.

3. God is left handed-- right handed people were the world's very first joke.

4. The Holy Trinity really *does* exist, but it's actually a Ska band that plays here at 7:30 on Friday nights.

5. Lynn-- some guy named Bobby wants me to tell you that it would have been a great joke had the gun not been loaded (whatever that means...)

[ChoralScholar]

79. "the other had a tire lock on it too"

wouldn't it suck if they were denied entry to heaven due to unpaid traffic tickets?

[momophile]

82. OMG! They left without me.

Fuckin' typical.

[KamaAina]

83. Me!

Who would have thought? :eyes:

[SharonRB]

84. I'm still here.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

85. I was left behind, but it seems that my neighbor was too, unfortunately.

Sucks really. They have a way nicer pool and they have a hot tub.

[Generic Brad]

86. I was raptured but I begged to be returned here

When I saw who was being taken I knew there was no way I could spend eternity with that crowd. Turns out they made a mistake picking me up anyway. It seems there's they were looking for a Geriatric Brad instead of me.
:evilfrown:

[beyurslf]

87. I made it. Yes. I can't wait to go out and find a new car.

[LostInAnomie]

88. My ass got Raptured.

Hmmm... that sounds kinda nasty.