I hate it when older men lie to me, thinking that I'm naive...

[Writer]

What - do they think a 31 year-old woman was born yesterday? Do they think I've never experienced difficulty with their crew of baggage-addled older man-types before? I have to deal with their condescending, arrogant, pseudo-introspective bullshit as they try to "educate" the (in their perspective) little young lady who "needs to be explained things." Screw that. Yes, I'm keen enough to know how the world works more than the average 20 year-old, and I possess enough imagination within me in order to adequately guess on what I haven't yet experienced. And I suppose, when they feed me a lie or two, that I can't quickly put together that they are lying? Hello??? Do you think me as being THAT diminuitive? Gullible?

If I need to be "educated" about life, I'll call my dad on the phone. He's one older man who knows how to issue me RESPECT. Otherwise, if you are angling for a younger woman, and intend to lie to that younger woman, go fishing for one of the 20 year-olds. I think it'll be a bit easier for you.

THE END.

:rant:

[swag]

1. What kind of shit do we say to you?

Full disclosure: I am married.

And in the immortal words of Leonard Cohen, I'm crazy for lovin' but I'm not comin' on.

[Writer]

3. Don't get me started!

Just lies - lies! Lies that defy common sense. Lies that are so obviously lies that they assume a "sweet young thing" like me won't read.

[swag]

10. Ahem. This is your thread. Get you started?

You're a self-starter on this topic, are you not?

[Writer]

13. I'm a rabble-rousing RANT starter!

And I like hell wish I could broadcast this to every corner of this country, so that the next time I bump into an older man with a still working libido that he would simply LEAVE ME ALONE.

[GalleryGod]

46. Duly noted.

JAFO:rofl: :spray: :rofl:

[jobycom]

4. Probably that kind of shit!

:rofl: Anyone who quotes Leonard Cohen... :rofl:

Oh, I'm just teasing, don't get offended!

[Writer]

Someone please give that OLDER Leonard Cohen crack and anal sex...

so he can stick it up the hole of our culture.

[swag]

8. Mission Accomplished.

[Writer]

11. I now have this image in my mind of someone in particular...

spending his time at the computer, listening to Leonard Cohen, eating aspirin raw while slamming glasses of scotch.

Yeah... yeah... that seems to work somehow... :think:

[swag]

14. Discuss it with your therapist at your earliest convenience.

[Writer]

15. Why? HE'S the one who's f'd up!

At least three of these men have sent me to therapists in the past. My days there are over. I can't keep these older fuckers off me.

[swag]

16. Well, sorry about all that.

[Writer]

17. If I give his general location, will you hunt him down and beat him up?

I think he needs a little kick in the arse.

[swag]

18. I don't see that happening.

[Writer]

21. Because, of course, I'm discussing YOU swag...

;) ;) ;)

[swag]

22. I figured as much.

[WCGreen]

23. Aspirin doesn't go with Scotch...

That type of abuse calls for Jim Beam and RC....

[Writer]

25. I dunno... when I think of Leonard Cohen, I think of:

a) drugs

b) alcohol

c) a blend of both, with a touch of pornography, mired deep in thought, typing out incoherent missives about the rest of the world

That's this guy.

[WCGreen]

28. That is so like several of the people I met in college....

Don't have to be old to be in love with your "intellect"....

[Writer]

29. Hmmm... guess some never outgrow that stage...

I love men who believe in their own brilliance to such a degree that they wax onward for five minutes on a point that easily can be articulated in one sentence.

[WCGreen]

35. Oh that goes on....

All the time...

I had to suffer a woman at dinner tonight who was in love with her brilliance....

[Writer]

40. Dinner. That gives me an idea...

maybe I should invite this person to dinner at the Cracker Barrel. Then I can slip out on my "way to the bathroom" and let him stew in hell.

[WCGreen]

42. There will be plenty of stuff to keep him busy at the Barrel...

I had a freind who had two, not one but two blind dates take off on him at dinner.....

[Writer]

44. In our city, I'm sure there will be a college student nearby...

that will grab his attention. :eyes:

[WCGreen]

48. College aged women scare me....

Until I get to know them...

I'm headed on back to school in three weeks, take a class at the local community college...

It's been a while since I have been around a lot of younger folks...

[Writer]

52. Well don't turn into creepy guy...

worst pick-up line I ever received was in a community college course:

"How tall are you?"

"5'8""

"I've always wanted to date a girl about your height..."

:puke:

[WCGreen]

57. I will ignore them all...

Dazzel them with my hard fought and won insight into the world outside the ivy cover walls of acedemia...

Or I'll buy them some Orange Crush...

Either way, I expect to be looked upon as an old coot......

[Writer]

58. Here's what you should do (this is from observation...)

lay back in your seat, your hands behind your head, when you talk to them. Look like you spend your every waking moment in that very chair doing nothing but thinking. Listen to them talk - remember now that what they say to you is of "utmost importance." After they're done, bite your lip a little and stare up at the ceiling. Look pensive - VERY pensive. Then give them a pseudo-intellectual line that will make their head spin. While their head is in the process of spinning, toss in a question so they completely fall off their chair. Also, if you have an accent, that helps.

Then take them to the vending machine for an Orange Crush.

Now THAT, sir, will knock them dead.

[WCGreen]

59. Someone that young would probably kill me.....

I like slow, smooth and seductive....

I fear that is not how the young wish to travel through the world of sexual realtions...

[Writer]

60. Oh ho ho, you underestimate the power of the "brilliant" mind...

especially in the academic setting. Those young ladies get goose pimples over a brilliant thought. I think I see a few study groups in your future, WC.

[ForrestGump]

61. I've seen exactly that

Exactly.

Though I don't recall it necessarily being directed specifically at one gender or the other, just the way some 'deep' older men have about them.

I wish I could do it, but I think I've got too much of the boyishly handsome and innocent thing going on, he says, his abdominals flapping in the breeze, and -- besides -- I've always wanted to date a girl your height... :D

[Writer]

62. Oh baby...

women my height are suckers for flapping abdominals! I WANT YOU!

[ForrestGump]

73. You WANT me?!?

Um...






Now I have absolutely no idea what to do. :D



Sadly, this is usually true.


So I'll take my rippling abdominals (really, after a while all that abdominal rippling will make you nauseous) and hit the road, just another man driven to nomadic solitude by calling the bluff of a 5'8" woman....

[WCGreen]

63. I have seen that as well.....

Close eyes and pause for a moment....

Gather thoughts...

And then continue...

[Writer]

64. Like a blend of Sigmund Freud and Archimedes...

as if he's whispering: "Yeah, I care about you, baby... your mind and my mind - we connect, ya know?"

[WCGreen]

67. That's...

Just really cheesey....

[Writer]

70. I know.

:eyes:

[ForrestGump]

76. Shhh...be quiet a minute, you two. I'm trying to write this down...

This is good stuff!

...we...connect...ya...know...questionmark.

All right.

Got it.

Thanks! :hi:

[Writer]

78. Forrest, dear... you need to pay attention...

because I'm trying to communicate something brilliant to you. Now, let me think: oh, yes. It's a subject not yet fitting a young lass like you. Are you sure you want to listen? Oh don't blush on me, okay? Here, let's go get a soda.

[ForrestGump]

81. No wonder I can't do that one yet

It's too complex.

But you've got it down!

[ForrestGump]

74. I bet you could pull it off

Channeling Gregory Peck would help... :D

[Writer]

75. To whom are you responding?

This subthread has gotten much too long, I'm afraid.

[ForrestGump]

82. Not that you couldn't channel the great Gregory Peck, but

..actually...come to think of it...you could probably do it better than either of us. They should probably take our union cards away for that.

Oops...just made the subthread even longer. Sorry about that... :P

[Writer]

83. Moi? Huh. Must be from years of OBSERVING YOU MEN.

Geesh!

[ForrestGump]

86. That was YOU outside my window last night?

:o


She sees you when you're sleeping
She knows when you're awake trying to lay a line down on her
She knows when you're up-to-no-good
So you'd better be good putting your medallions and chest wigs away
For goodness sake

:scared:

[Writer]

88. Oh GOD

There's one in my menagerie who has a chest wig. :puke:

[ForrestGump]

91. Oh. My. Goodness. Sounds like 'menagerie' is the right word, then

Does he have a leash for it?



P.S.: I like it when you call me a god.

[Writer]

93. Wow. A bit of a Nietchian complex, eh?

tsk tsk!

[ForrestGump]

96. Also Sprach Forrest

I am superman
And I can do anything

:D

[Heidi]

105. When I think of Leonard Cohen, I think of

the fact that he spent five years on Mt. Baldy, studying Buddhism.

[swag]

7. It's just bait for your type.

And you bit, sucker.

[jobycom]

12. ROFLMAO!

:rofl:

[jobycom]

2. Now, now dear

Don't get your pretty little head worked up over it. That's just the way older men are. Not me, though. I am not like those other guys. I will treat you with respect and dignity. ANd buy you a Porsche! You'd like that, wouldn't you? Girls your age like that, don't they? Come on over, let Uncle Jobycom tell you how it is and make it all better for you. Ignore the 82 Mercedes, that's my, um, brother's car. And that's his broken-down apartment, too. He's staying in my lake house fixing my yacht. Maybe I'll show you my yacht one day. You'd like that, wouldn't you?

(Meh, so I'm bad at it! That's why I stay home with my cats and type on DU instead of trying to meet anyone!) :rofl:

[Writer]

5. Damn, you're actually pretty smooth...

too bad the mind attracts me more than the wallet. Tsk tsk, jobycom. ;)

(:rofl:)

[jobycom]

Good!

Cause my wallet wouldn't even attract flies!

And that only sounds smooth cause it's written. Kind of hides the sweating bald head and the nervous scratching of my graying beard! :rofl:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

6. My dear Writer........

I am sorry that you're having so much trouble these days..........

Have a hug or two.........:hug: :hug:

[Writer]

9. That's way too kind, Peg.

Thank you, but I must say I feel better now after ranting. :)

[liontamer]

19. maybe you should stop dating older men

[Writer]

20. I'm NOT DATING THEM. I am MARRIED...

to a man who's about 2 years older than me. But that doesn't seem to stop them, and it becomes especially galling when I have to work with them, and I don't mean on the job where there are harrassment rules.

[Floogeldy]

24. I am not convinced.

Talk to me in ten (10) years.

:smoke:

[swag]

26. Good to have another warning against aging creepily. Constant struggle.

Franks and goodnight.

[Writer]

27. Yeah... age non-creepily.

Hit on the young ladies with some dignity, a'right?

Nighty, swag. ;)

[swag]

31. To cop a line from another old creep,

I'm beyond freedom and dignity.

[Writer]

33. Hmmm... I'd say that applies to this one...

some men think they've earned the right to be as ass in their later years.

[swag]

34. Well good.

I hope you made his nutsack shrivel.

[FuzzySlippers]

89. ~

:rofl:

This thread is the strangest thing I've read in a long time.

[Writer]

94. This thread is like the blob...

it will consume you. You cannot escape!

[ContraBass Black]

30. Have you tried younger men?

;)

[Writer]

32. I MARRIED a man my age!

But I seem to be comprised of older man bait. They seem to ignore the twinkling item on my left hand. And they like to lie - a lot.

[HEyHEY]

37. Yeah, we rule!

Get it while it's hot ooow owwwwww!

[Writer]

39. HeyHey... Mr. Writer isn't that far away...

don't get all saucy on me, a'right?

[HEyHEY]

36. Look at it this way... they've been reduced to

Trying to pick up younger women through lying.... I'm sure their lives suck enough that you can take solice in that.

[Writer]

38. Yeah that does suck...

but it certainly doesn't keep them away :(

[rug]

41. Hey, that's no way to say goodbye.

[Writer]

43. Isn't that the grizzled old prospector who appears in the woods in horror

movies at precisely the right time, filling in the protagonist with all pertinent information about the so-named horror, including a way to beat the creature?

[rug]

53. Yes, on those occasions he is not perusing Updike at the Strand.

[Writer]

56. Oh man. I've been there before...

I'll remember to stay the heck away from Strand's next time I'm in Manhattan. Especially if he's there.

[gkdmaths]

45. Well, I for one would respect your right to

be correct or incorrect, regardless of what I though the truth was. Thats my job, and Im sorta getting good at it.

The lesson I've learned, with respect to what I think you're experiencing, is that I needed to have thicker skin and not be so offended by the old-timers. Rather than taking offense, I rose to their challenge and accepted the fact that they're limited old bags of crap and that I could be the better person by forgiving them of their bullshit. This was ONLY satisfying with the understanding that they would soon be retired and living in some high-falootin' retirement community happily cohabitating with the similarly myopic and ignorant population of an older and less sophisticated generation (not all of them, of course). When that happened, I could have my time in their chair to do better work than they could,and perhaps leave a better impression on the new 31 year old incomming female.

but thats just how I see it.

/pseudorant.

:hi:

[Writer]

47. Not bad. Not bad at all, gkdmaths...

good food for thought. :hi:

[gkdmaths]

55. well,

It is my goal in life to progress, scientifically, socially and professionally.

I work with a bunch of 65+ year old engineers. yikes, you try that!

;)

Always remember to keep your eye on the prize (and the prize aint money)!

[Rabrrrrrr]

49. You girls are so cute when you get all agitated! Just like an adult,

except, you know, cuter!!

[Writer]

50. If I were 100% sure you were staring at my FACE when you spoke...

to me, I'd buy that. ;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

51. You have a face?

Wow! I never thought to raise my eyes up that far.

:P

Do all women have faces? I find this very curious.

[Writer]

54. Actually, I do have a face - two in fact...

their names are Thelma and Louise. And they will KICK YER ARSE if you get too close!!!

[ForrestGump]

65. Dude...

Get back in that semi and hit the road..I think she's serious... :o

[Writer]

66. They shoot bullets, too...

[ForrestGump]

79. They do?!?

:o



:o




Um...what exactly are we talking about here?






:scared:

[Writer]

80. These boobs were made for shootin'...

and that's what they will do.
One of these days these boobs are gonna
shoot away at YOU.

(cue bass)

Go go.

[ForrestGump]

84. WELL, THAT'S JUST GREAT

Now I'm scarred for life... :-(

I'll be forevermore gunshy.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

68. In their fantasy world...

all women need to be explained things. These guys you're dealing with still think they can create reality to suit their fairy tale ideal. Don't be angry...there's no point in wasting your energy.

There are plenty of men of varying ages who respect women for who they are, and don't feel threatened by intelligence...and won't try to hit on you if you're married.

[Writer]

71. Okay. Would you mind telling those women-respecting men...

to come talk to me, then? Other than my husband, I have yet to meet them.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

77. Many of them are here...

though I'm sure there are some of the other kind here too...

[ForrestGump]

90. I respect you

...eyes...dammit...eyes...look at her eyes...or, at least, her face...

Sorry. Let me try that again.

I respect you.

:D




In all seriousness -- yeah, I know...as if -- I've long thought that I would hate to be a single female because I look around and, overwhelmingly, what I see are men who turn me off with their attitudes, and particularly their attitudes toward women. Maybe being a single woman in these United States is a wonderful thing, for all I know, but I suspect that the pickings are pretty slim out there. Still, I do know plenty of men who are truly 'nice guys' (probably because I don't hang out at bars and don't gravitate toward people with the suboptimal attitudes that seem so common among men, in general) and who really would be worthy dudes to have as a partner or just a friend -- sounds like you got one of those, fortunately.

As for the ring not being much of a deterrent, that's very much true of both many men and many women. I don't know if they see it as a challenge, or confirmation that the person is desirable in some way more deeply than the obvious (because someone else thought enough of him or her to marry them), but it seems almost as if its more an invitation than a "no vacancy" signal. I know that I got more over-the-top overt advances, some very explicit and intimidating, once I got married than I ever did when I was single, when I could have actually used them. My wife, when we were still together (I don't know if she still wears a ring on that finger), also got hit on by men who knew full well she was married. Weird (though, actually, in evolutionary terms it very much makes sense.,..sexual selection in action!).

[Writer]

92. I think men simply don't care.

Perhaps they've had enough women ignore their rings to believe that they can "persuade" yet another.

[ForrestGump]

98. I'm sure you're right, in many cases, but

what I've seen and heard suggests to me that some really do love the game that's afoot when the object of their desire is forbidden fruit. And I'm not talking about someone who falls in love with a married (or otherwise 'taken') person -- that's entirely different -- I'm talking about people, male or female, for whom the very fact of their target's commitment is itself a (perhaps even the) major attractant.

Lots of games out there, and some are very detrimental to the players' welfare...

[Writer]

99. Oh good god I once knew a WOMAN like that...

embittered as hell. Went after a married man when she was in her early 20's. He left his wife for her. The guy ends up cheating on her with another woman FOR A YEAR (gee :eyes:) During and after she divorces, she then chases after another older man in the office I worked. Married. She loves the attention he gives her.

Now here I enter the picture. During this time I was the one in my early 20's and she, after all this, was the embittered woman in her early 30's. I catch the eye of said older man in the office. Think she didn't pounce on me, and quick? Next thing you know there are rumors about me and several men in the office... etc etc etc. She hated me. Simply for being there.

People like that are born to lose.

[leftofthedial]

104. sheesh

these guys have done a number on you.

I'm an older guy. I sincerely do not think I'm like that. But, hell, I don't know. I'm single for the first time since I was 19, so maybe I'm giving off old-guy-creep vibes . . .

[RagingInMiami]

69. So now I'm confused

Are you 31 or 20?

[Writer]

72. Thirty-one, honey.

:D

[amitten]

85. Well I'm 35 and I attract the youngsters (20's). Not much better.

Oh wait...

yes it is! }( Sometimes, and kinda.

But I've also endured many a creepy ogle from MUCH older men.

Now if only I could meet a guy MY OWN AGE...well, apparently that is not possible for reasons I've never been able to figure out.

[Writer]

87. I think the young ones are scared of me...

the other day I was at the gym doing weights. I had a creepy older guy approach me offering his smaller free weights. I thought he was just being nice but he made a beeline for me when I approached the weight rack. He didn't know English, but he handed them to me, staring at my chest. :(

I can't wait until the college kids return for the fall. They don't look at me as much. :)

On edit: Oh dear. I'm sorry if this post sounded vain. It's more about creepy old men.

[ForrestGump]

95. Maybe, with him not being an English speaker, the whole thing with your

proximity to the rack just confused him.

I mean...just playing Devil's advocate here...




Okay. I'll run before you damage me.

[Writer]

97. ROFL!

:rofl:

It must be getting late...

or was that merely Freudian?

[Writer]

100. Kick!

My thread must trump them all!

[leftofthedial]

101. now, now little girl

when I was a young man, not much older than you, I worked for a time as a lion tamer and part-time trapeze artist in a traveling European circus. This was while I was taking a brief sabbatical from my profession as poet laureate of New Orleans. You know, before I was selected for the astronaut program. As I wrote in the first of my Pulitzer-winning novels about the experience, one thing I learned from the circus people was that just when a naive young woman like you thinks she knows how the world works, she probably really needs the help, advice and protection of a sensitive older man--one like me--who is not only a licensed massage therapist and a martial arts expert, but also is sensitive enough to understand your special kind of pain.

[Writer]

102. Wow. A person like you makes me feel perky.

You know, like a blushing, little girl. :puke:

[leftofthedial]

103. I have that effect on people

the perky and the blushing

then the puking. :sigh: