Some of God's creatures I wish he'd skipped.

[Philosoraptor]

Or she.

Slugs.

Ticks.

Roaches.

Mosquito's.

Tapeworms.

Lice.

Crabs.

Eels.

Venomous Jelly fish.

Venomous snakes.

Worms.

Venomous spiders.

Scorpions.

Hag fish.

Tucker Carlson.

Snipes.

Alan Dershowitz.

Leeches.

Sharks.

Anacondas.

Ear wicks.

Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife.

Intestinal parasites.

Locusts.

Fire ants.

That screamy guy with the black hair and beard thats always selling shitty products on t.v.

help me out here............

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

1. I've got nothing against

Crabs.

Eels.

Venomous Jelly fish.

Venomous snakes.

Worms.

And WTF is a snipe?

[Philosoraptor]

2. what, you've never hunted the dreaded snipe?

Ask around, I never want to speak of my snipe hunting days again.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

12. I've heard of 'snipe hunting' I still don't know what the damn thing is

[C_eh_N_eh_D_eh]

3. Humans.

[Redstone]

4. Horseflies!

Redstone

[WindRavenX]

6. fucking HATE THEM

hateful little fucks...

[Misunderestimator]

7. And Deer flies!

:scared:

Edited to add:




Ack!

[spacelady]

10. Is that what they call yellowflies in the south? That is my nemesis.

[Redstone]

14. They buzz and buzz around your head until you look like a lunatic,

flailing away at them. Sometimes you have to take your shirt off and use it as a oversized flyswatter.

Because you do NOT want them to bite you. Half-inch-diameter lump that makes mosquitoes jealous for the amount of itch it produces.

Is that what your Southern Yellowflies do? If so, then yes, they're the same thing.

Redstone

[spacelady]

17. You Betcha. Cuckoo going to the mailbox. Run like hell away!

When I first moved here, I asked a gas station clerk what were those yellow-colored flies that followed you and bit so bad, & she replied, "Yellowflies."
That is efficient vernacular.

[Redstone]

21. Efficient vernacular , indeed. And a nice turn of phrase on your part. You

don't mind if I steal it, do you?

Redstone

[spacelady]

22. Not a'tall.

[Redstone]

23. Thank you too much.

Redstone

[Redstone]

13. And blackflies!

Redstone

[Misunderestimator]

15. Oh yes!

I had an AWFUL time when I lived in upstate NY... for two months of the year... those damn things CHASED me when I ran... I eventually got a hat with a net that went down my back to keep them at bay... they still bit the hell out of my arms. Black flies... suck... more than anything I can imagine. More than scorpions or spiders or wasps.

[Redstone]

18. Yes, you can see the scorpions and wasps coming. But the blackflies,

they're just always THERE. The beekeeper's outfit was a wise choice on your part.

Redstone

[spacelady]

20. Which comes first in the spring? I vote Blackflies then Yellowflies.

[IsIt1984Yet]

5. Centipedes

Fruit flies
Fleas
The Oxy-Clean commercial guy
My first husband
And his mother

[mainegreen]

8. Hey, I like eels! They taste good!

Mmmmmm, unagi!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. Dog the Bounty Hunter's wife is great!

She's a hard ass, but she's also really nice. She's gotta grow on you, but I love her. I think she's hilarious.

And see? She can be pretty. I think she can be gorgeous...just most of the time, she's a little on the trashy side.
Duckie

[Suich]

27. Supposedly, Dog likes her a bit trashy!

My question is, how can she stand up straight? Doesn't her back just kill her? Isn't she bound to have massive problems as she gets older?

Just wonderin'.

:hi:

[idgiehkt]

11. unidentifiable itching objects

something that flies around my bedroom at night and bites me. I can feel it on my skin, but I never move fast enough to see it. It makes no sounds, and doesn't leave a mark. It just..fucking..itches!!!

edit: I too think Dog's wife is cute, before she puts her white trash costume on in the morning. She's really quite attractive, and funny, and smart. It sucks that they are so reactionary politically though.

[sarge43]

16. George W. Bush

Japanese Beetles

Black flies

Red squirrels

Anne Coulter

[KitchenWitch]

19. Karl Rove

[jobycom]

24. Gee, your list makes me think of Julie Andrews singing "These are a few of

my favorite things." Except Tucker Carlson. What's going on with Dershowitz? I've always thought of him as a great liberal/atheist/civil rights type, but people are down on him lately. What did I miss?

[u4ic]

25. Relatives...

[Aristus]

26. All Things Dull And Ugly, by Monty Python.

Sung to the tune of "All Creatures Great And Small".


All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom,
He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the spikey urchin,
Who made the sharks, He did.
All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
AMEN.

[Oeditpus Rex]

28. Dammit!

Beat me to it. :toast:

(It's even funnier when you know it was sung by a children's choir.)

[Aristus]

29. Sorry to have spoiled your fun, Rex.

I have the Monty Python Sings CD and I always imagine this track with a boys' choir and a stern choirmaster who uses the "stand" gesture at the beginning, mouths the words the whole time, and finishes with the "be seated" gesture. That's fun. :silly:

[Oeditpus Rex]

31. Hey, I'd feel pretty alone

if I were the only one who ever posted Python stuff. :thumbsup:

I love it when they go "'Oo made the sharks? 'E DID!"

:rofl:

[grannylib]

30. Mosquito's what?? *lol* And ALL spiders should be on the list, not

just the venomous ones...you would think God coulda thought up a better way to get rid of flies and skeeters and such...
Spiders are just icky. *shudder*

[RFKHumphreyObama]

32. Why Alan Dershowitz?

He was on one of the TV stations in my country not so long ago arguing against the legal policies and judicial appointments of the * Administration. He sounded quite impressive to me

[Swamp Rat]

33. Mel Gibson

:D