OMG, I freaking HATE these words: BlackBerry and

[NewWaveChick1981]

"deliverable" (used as a noun). :nuke: :grr: I have sat in boring training sessions the past two days, and all fifteen people in the room besides me have BlackBerries (whoever called them CrackBerries was onto something!). Listening to fifteen CrackBerries go off within seconds of each other....with that annoying whining buzz and vibrating across the table...was just incredibly annoying and irritating to me! :mad: CrackBerries are optional at the company I work for, and I will not have one. Period. I have a very good cell phone and can access email on my laptop, so that's all I want. I don't get any life-or-death emails, so why would I want to be driven insane every couple of minutes checking on work email????

And using "deliverable" as a noun is FUCKING ANNOYING!!!! :grr: It's not a real word! It's just made-up bullshit like "multitasking" and "action item". :nuke: The next time I hear, "These are the deliverables for next meeting", I'm gonna have to get medieval on somebody's ass! :mad:

Ahhhhhhhhhh.... I feel much better now. :P This has been a Public Service Rant.

:rofl: :hi:

[billyskank]

1. Feel better now?

:hug:

[NewWaveChick1981]

2. Much...

The excessive heat combined with the annoyances has made me crazy! :crazy: I just had to let it all out.... :rofl:

I need to go back to the college/university environment. At least the insanity there was academic.... :P

[billyskank]

3. Glad you did

;)

[Kajsa]

6. I'm with you, NW Chick.

'deliverable' is inexcusable!

Yeah, the heat got to me, too!!

;-)

[NewWaveChick1981]

8. Glad to hear it!

:hi:

[hfojvt]

4. I just order a blackberry

but they said it was undeliverable.

[billyskank]

7. That's cause you didn't leverage your synergies

or something

[NewWaveChick1981]

11. lol!

:rofl: They also didn't action the B2B offerings....

[NewWaveChick1981]

9. ROFL!

:hi: :rofl:

[querelle]

5. Heh Heh Heh

I was at a meeting about a month ago when some senior exec started answering his e-mail on his Crackberry. The Deputy Minister (his boss) was not amused about being ignored. The DM walked over to him, grabbed the Crackberry, threw it to the floor and stomped on it. He proceeded to ream his ass about paying attention at meetings. I just loved it!

BTW, my employer tried to hoist one of those little demon machines on me. I flatly refused. I already have a work issued celfone which gets switched off every day at 5:00 PM. I refuse to do their work on my time.

I work to live. Not the other way around.

Q

[NewWaveChick1981]

13. Amen to that!

:rofl: I love what the DM did.... that sucker deserved it! :applause:

I also agree with you---I am NOT working unnecessarily on my off time. :)

[Renew Deal]

10. I carry a Blackberry

It's very useful, but I know what you mean.

[NewWaveChick1981]

15. I know it can be. But CrackBerry abuse is just

intolerable! :grr: I'm sure you use yours judiciously, though.

[Renew Deal]

20. I have a story for you.

I work in IT. We have a guy who hasn't used his computer in 9 years. He even still dictates to his assistant. He asked for a Blackberry because upper management requested it. Less than a week later, he got one of those fatal JVM errors that makes the device unusable. The guy went nuts and he stayed late until we got him a working device. He was flipping out. It was pretty a case study in Crackberry addiction.

[NewWaveChick1981]

25. Jesus! That's insane!

:rofl: It was hell for you, but that man's totally adddicted. :eyes:

[Cruzan]

12. And anyone who uses architect as a verb ought to just be shot

[NewWaveChick1981]

16. Oh, don't forget "gifting"

:grr: What's wrong with "giving a gift"???? Huh????

[ThomCat]

14. I have to support over 800 of those little monsters.

I would be very happy if crackberries ceased to exist. :grr:

[NewWaveChick1981]

17. I don't know how you do it, TC!

:hug: That would just make me crazier.... :grr:

[ThomCat]

19. They do make me crazy at times.

But everyone here seems to forgive my occassional lapses. :P So many DUers are such sweet people.

[NewWaveChick1981]

26. You'll never worry about DUers, TC!

:hi:

[AirmensMom]

18. What????

They didn't use "task" as a verb? :rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

27. They tasked me to tears.

:rofl: :hi: Fuckin' business lingo stupid idiots.... :grr:

[AirmensMom]

30. LOL!

:rofl: And they think they sound so smart. :rofl:

[querelle]

21. Bullshit Bingo

Try playing this at your next meeting.

Q

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your "Bullshit Bingo" card by drawing a square -- I find that 5" x 5" is a good size -- and dividing it into columns --five across and five down. That will give you 25 1-inch blocks.


2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

Synergy
Strategic fit
Core competencies
Turbulent environment
Out of the box
Pushback
Bottom line
Revisit
Take that off-line
24/7
Out of the loop
Benchmark
Value-added
Proactive
Bandwidth
Win-win
Think outside the box
Fast track
Results-driven
Paradigm
Empower (or empowerment)
Knowledge base
At the end of the day
Touch base
Mindset
Client focus(ed) or Customer focus(ed)
Ballpark
Game plan
Scenario
Leverage
Cascade
Sequential or sequentially


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.


4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

[NewWaveChick1981]

28. ROFLMFAO!

:rofl: That can also make a good drinking game for AFTER the meeting! :rofl:

:hi: Thanks for giving me something to laugh about while I'm sitting in the last bullshit meeting tomorrow. You might hear me scream, "BULLSHIT!" more than once.... :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. medieval isn't a verb

[NewWaveChick1981]

29. Uh... I meant I would turn into a medieval warrior and annihilate

the idiot. :) Yeah, that's the ticket.... :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. Good try, but you ain't fooling me!

:P

:rofl:

Hoisted by your own petard! I bet you're feeling not so NewWave now, are you?

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

44. Hey, I was hating business acronyms and lingo...

You just trashed a perfectly good Ving Rhames saying from "Pulp Fiction". :P That terminology is generally not used in business settings....but it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking it! :rofl:

Yeah, so sue me.... I'm still New Wave and damn proud of it. :patriot:

[Guava Jelly]

23. let it out sister..

Are you back home yet?

[NewWaveChick1981]

31. No. :( I get back tomorrow night.

I'm in the luxury hotel room right now. We ate dinner in Little Italy and went to Mike's Bakery for cannolis, and I'm just kicking back. :hi: More bullshit tomorrow morning, then I have the afternoon free before my flight home.

[Guava Jelly]

35. Well get through it the best you can

Sounds like the foods been pretty good.
Have a safe trip home Hope you at least get friday off.
:) :hi:

[NewWaveChick1981]

40. Hi!

No, I don't get Friday off per se. But since I'll be working in my home office, what they don't know about when I actually get out of bed on Friday won't hurt them. ;)

[SharonRB]

24. Actually, it is properly used as a noun

From Dictionary.com:

Main Entry: deliverable
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: something that is to be delivered according to agreement; by extension, a task that one is responsible for delivering

[NewWaveChick1981]

32. I stand corrected.

:hi: However, I still can't stand it! :P

[SharonRB]

45. I hate when people use impact as a verb

Drives me up a wall. When I'm proofing anything for anyone at work, I always change it to "affect."

On edit:
OMG -- this must have been my 10,000th post! I see I just hit it.

[ralps]

52. Congratulations SharonRB!!!!

:hi: :loveya: :hug: :pals: :woohoo: :toast: :toast: :bounce: :bounce: :applause: :applause: :patriot: :patriot:

[Berry Cool]

53. I know someone who is always "going forward."

Every meeting, she's always talking about "going forward." What other way are we gonna go? Backward??

[swag]

33. At least people don't say "Filofax" or "Action Item" any more.

[NewWaveChick1981]

34. LOL!

:hi: Yeah, I hated those too...

[swag]

36. Glad to touch base with you on that.

But let's take it off-line, just to make sure everyone's on the same page.

[NewWaveChick1981]

38. Is that one of the deliverables?

:P

[swag]

41. You know it.

I'm a Profit Center!

[Midlodemocrat]

37. After the meeting, which tasks were you charged with?

God, I despise that business-speak. Ridiculous.



(I do have a blackberry though. I got it to always be on top of my emails when I am running around with the kids)

[NewWaveChick1981]

39. You and I both, Midlo!

I hate it with a passion. I mean, I was used to acronyms from hell in my previous job, but this is nuts. I was tasked with logistics B2B outsourcing. :rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

42. The best is when you come away from one of these

symposiums and you get the email which assigns you the 'tasks' which you are 'charged with' and you haven't got a fucking clue what they are talking about.

Yes. That has happened to me. It wasn't fun. :rofl:

[ForrestGump]

47. How about outsourcing some consumables, then?

(please?)

I'm hungry. :D

[ForrestGump]

48. Or would that be 'insourcing'?

Or, if it's Mexican food, perhaps 'hotsourcing.'

[Chiyo-chichi]

46. I am going to re-purpose your post.

A few years ago, I would have "put it in the parking lot," but now I'm going to "re-purpose" it.

[billyskank]

49. That's thinking outside the box

:thumbsup:

[GalleryGod]

50. Tough day, Eh?

[NewWaveChick1981]

56. I wish I could send Tony's boys over to take care of the lingo

abusers! :woohoo:

[Taverner]

51. I hate using deliverable as a noun, but I'd be dead wo my blackberry

For those of us who are time management-challenged, they are a godsend

[NewWaveChick1981]

55. I'll bet you're not so addicted to it that you'd foam at the mouth

without it. :) The people I work with are.

[RetroLounge]

54. What you are in need of is obvious...

you need a Paradigm Shift.

:hi:

RL

[NewWaveChick1981]

57. Oh, yeah?

:rofl: :hi: I heard a brand-new pseudo-word this morning that's unbelievably irritating: nimbility. It's a combination of nimble and agility. :puke: One woman even said "nimbilicious" today.

:grr: :mad: That's IT! I'm going back to universities where they KNOW what real words are.....

[RetroLounge]

59. "nimbilicious"?????

Did you slap her?

RL

[NewWaveChick1981]

62. The coworker sitting beside me had to restrain me....

:grr: She hates lingo as much as I do, and she saw me almost have a stroke when we heard that. :rofl:

The offender needs to be SHOT!!!! :applause:

[greatauntoftriplets]

64. GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

:spank:

WTF does that mean?

[NewWaveChick1981]

67. Best I can figure, it means someone who can move quickly

and efficiently. :wtf: And I agree: :spank: :spank: I don't EVER want to hear that horrible non-word again.

[greatauntoftriplets]

68. It's all corpobabble...

Hot damn, I just invented a new buzzword.

:rofl:

[NewWaveChick1981]

70. If you send it to Webster's, they'll probably include it in their

next edition. :) Be sure to put the exact definition in too.

[Gormy Cuss]

58. In Federal contracting speak, 'deliverable' is a noun.

One of the things that drove me batty at an old job. That and a penchant for writing proposals in the passive voice.

Are you sure you're not cranky because the airline missed its deliverable?;)

[NewWaveChick1981]

60. I'm sure. I was ranting last night when I started this thread.

I was really cranky after the bullshit business lingo irritation, and I rectified that by having a nice relaxing meal in Little Italy and drinking wine and a mojito. I calmed down a lot after that and only got irritated today at the "nimbility" reference. (See my post to RetroLounge above.)

But actually, I am] cranky because the airline missed its "deliverable"! :rofl:

[greatauntoftriplets]

61. YES!!!!!!!

And the word "asset" when they mean a photo! FFS, call it what it is instead of something fancy-schmancy to make yourself sound more important!!!!

[NewWaveChick1981]

63. Good god, yes....

:grr: I HATE that shit!

Oh, and I also HATE when people call hair gel, mousse, etc. "product". :grr: "You've got a lot of product in your hair." :wtf: Product? What kind of product? Could be anything---not necessarily hair-related. :eyes: I know Jonathan (the hairstylist with his own so-called reality show) has a hair product called Product, and I don't hate that use any less. :grr:

[smirkymonkey]

65. I hate the word "Asset" used for images and product. I just

started dealing w/ someone at a large corporation and she asked me for f-ing Assets. I wanted to reach through the phone and strangle her!

[Scooter24]

66. I currently use a Treo 700...

Though I don't use a Blackberry, I do however use a Treo 700.

As an event planner, I can't tell you enough how useful it is.

[NewWaveChick1981]

69. I know just how useful they can be. I don't have a problem with

the general use of one, because I know it can be very effective and a real timesaver. However, I object to the total and complete addiction that most of the people I work with (and other people I have witnessed) are into. They pounce on their CrackBerries at the instant they start doing their vibration dance across the table. :yoiks: They have a glazed, demented look in their eyes when that happens, and one of the women in the room must have checked her CrackBerry over a hundred times yesterday. Nothing earth-shattering, no life-or-death matters, just regular emails. I got mine when I plugged my laptop in last night, and I had no crisis-worthy business emails. :)