You have met an intriguing potential romantic partner

[NMMNG]

The two of you "click", you're getting good vibes and so on. Then suddenly you discover something that causes you to put on the brakes. What for you is a definite turn-off?

[Heidi]

1. The person is mean-spirited.

It often takes a long time for that quality to reveal itself, but mean-spiritedness (to include bigoted, recalcitrant, petty, etc.) is a deal-breaker with me. I'd rather be alone that be with a person who doesn't value compassion.

[NMMNG]

6. Doesn't that sort-of fall under "Republican"?

:P

[Heidi]

9. Not necessarily.

Some Republicans are simply misguided, potential progressives. :)

[NMMNG]

13. I know

That's why I put the :P in there.

[Heidi]

14. Reason No. 3 brazillion why I

:loveya:

[billyskank]

15. ....

GROUP HUG!!! :grouphug:

[Heidi]

16. No hugs for you, mister.

Only :*

:blush:

[billyskank]

18. Awwwww okay then

:*

:D






:loveya:

[Courtesy Flush]

67. Toxic people of any kind can be draining

Avoid them at all costs. They're not always mean spirited, though often they are. Some of them wallow in victimhood, etc. They will drag you down with them.

[Guava Jelly]

2. I couldn't get past the republican

Anyone who calls them self that after seeing what they have done to my country
Is ignorant or just evil

[NMMNG]

10. That is a hard one to deal with

Maybe a moderate Repub who is almost a moderate Dem but definitely not a hardcore Repub. :scared:

[mark414]

3. i couldn't be with any one who had strong beliefs in one religion

as in the "my religion is the only right religion" sort of beliefs...

i know a lot of people like that, both conservatives and liberals...and i'm far from being an atheist but christ i hate organized religion.

that or someone who watches a lot of reality television

but honestly who am i kidding - i have too many self-rules that it'll be impossible for me to find someone who will both put up with me and also not annoy the hell out of me...

[billyskank]

4. Could be any of the above, or none, or anything else

depends entirely on the person and their own particular qualities.

:hi: Buffy!

[NMMNG]

8. Ah so.

billyskank :hug:

[billyskank]

11. !!!

:hug:

:D

[Broken_Hero]

5. other...

I almosted clicked on the religion one, but it didn't fit my turn off. My main turn off is overtly religous, and forcing their religion upon me. My best friend Jason went through that with his ex wife, and if it was me, I would have dumped that woman in a heart beat...

[ForrestGump]

7. Two or more of the above. Though I'd have some room for

flexibility if she was the right person.

I'd draw the line at a giant, carnivorous robot, though. And I've known a few...

[NMMNG]

12. Sorry

I didn't think to put "Giant carnivorous robot" in the poll. :rofl:

[ForrestGump]

20. But enough about

Ann Coulter... :P

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. One or more of the above, plus 'other'

To wit: She doesn't argue well. That is, everything turns emotional, with a lot of "Nothing" and "No, it's okay," when it isn't nothing and it isn't okay.

Talk to me. Dammit, just talk to me like a rational human person.

Men and women have enough difficulty communicating as it is.

[Heidi]

21. No, it's okay.

I don't mind that you haven't evolved enough to be able to read my mind. It's nothing. Really. Forget I even mentioned it.

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

Shut UP!

:spank:

[Heidi]

25. If you really loved me,

you'd know I prefer to face to the right when I'm spanked. But really, it's okay.

[Oeditpus Rex]

30. And I'm supposed to rotate the smilie how?

Really, you think I can just do stuff??

[Heidi]

32. It's okay.

Really. Don't go out of your way for me.

[Oeditpus Rex]

39. Aarrgghh!

Okay... here.

:spank:

[NMMNG]

38. You could do it

if you were a real man. :P

[Heidi]

41. .

Or a true soulmate. :rofl: :spray:

[NMMNG]

43. LOL

:P

[Oeditpus Rex]

46. If I were a Real Man

I wouldn't need no damned smilies. :evilgrin:

[NMMNG]

49. LOL

Rrrrrowwrr.

[Ptah]

68. Ptah to the rescue.

:spank:

[NMMNG]

24. Really, it's nothing.

[Ariana Celeste]

117. Absolutely.

:thumbsup:

[Random_Australian]

19. I can handle most things, but not drugs. No fucking way, not even stoners.

Not at present.
If they dabbled in the past, I don't care.
If they use at present, then no fucking way. That includes marijauna.

I guess those who use mj may object to my stance against it, but who gives a fuck?
Two of four of my siblings had their heads fucked over, and I will never risk bieng close to someone who does that again. :)

Fuck off people who want to chastise me. Especially if you wouldn't date say, a republican or drinker or smoker or whatever. And if you would, I don't fucking care. Anyone who tells me what to think of mj can fuck off.

And those are the impolitest words you'll hear this Australian say.

(End rant)

[NMMNG]

23. Wow. 7 "f*cks" in one post

Is that a record of some sort? :rofl:

[Heidi]

27. He's an over-achiever.

:evilgrin:

[Random_Australian]

28. Nah, but the other time I was not serious.

It was a thread about 'Are Americans bieng exposed to more foul language' so I answered 'yes they are.... from me! (followed by about 700 fucks)'

:)

A republican is not something I have a problem with, strangely.

We just don't have fundies.....

(Except in catholic schools, I am informed)

[NMMNG]

33. You don't have fundies?

OMFSM! I just might move down there some day. :woohoo:

[Random_Australian]

37. Well, let me put it this way.

There are nasty bits of Aus and I am not in one of them.

See if you can do your MLS in Usyd!

(I don't think they offer it though.... pity. No-one even cares about the socialists there!)

[Jamastiene]

31. No, no. Tell us what you REALLY think.

:P

[Random_Australian]

36. What do I think? I won't date a Klanswomen,

IF THEY DO DRUGS.

Otherwise I might even be able to handle it.

Except there is no such thing as a Klanswomen.

[Jamastiene]

42. Actually, there is a such thing as a Klanswomen.

They even make those sick sheet costumes they wear for little kids as well. I couldn't go there. Nopity.

[Random_Australian]

48. Huh. Weird. What about gay black vegetarian women athiest Klanswomen?

(Buffy is all of those except black, but I have the feeling she is not interested)

Edit: Vegetarian or vegan, I can't remember. Meh.

[Jamastiene]

51. I could go with gay (that's my taste anyhow,) black

(I have had crushes on more than one black woman,) vegetarian (I'll try at least,) women (I LOVE women,) atheist (no problemo whatsoever there,) but I simply could not, would not go klanswomen. No way. No how.

[Random_Australian]

54. No, I meant 'are there gay atheist black vegetarian women Klanswomen'

That's all, silly! :P

Meh.

Nice to know your opinion about the other stuff too!

[Jamastiene]

57. The Klan doesn't allow black people, atheists, or gay people, except

this one really fucked up girl I met at college recently who swears up and down that the Klan in Louisiana does accept gays and Italians. There may be a few who are vegetarian :hide: (DISCLAIMER: that isn't intended to piss off any vegans or vegetarians, honest.) I don't really know about that one.

I love to be silly. It's fun. :P

I guess you'd freak if you knew I had a big crush on Courtney Love, well, still kinda do. I do understand what you mean about street drugs though. They do destroy people. It's horrible to see. I'm sure you've seen Faces of Meth too. It really is wretched to watch someone go through that. I just got this thing, you see, for Courtney Love. I dunno.

[NMMNG]

87. Vegetarian

And I find the idea of being a Klanswoman abhorrent. x(

[mark414]

40. there's nothing wrong with yer opinion

but are you in favor of withholding marijuana from people that use it responsibly and will never ever have any contact with you?

[Random_Australian]

45. Investigating that.

I don't believe people should have legal license to harm themselves as they see fit...

But we don't know if mj is dangerous (to a greater extent than tobacco or ethanol, anyway).

If it is, ban it.
If it is not, legalise it.

That seems a little authoritarian, but keeping things illegal is a good way to make sure that people do not engage in overly risky behaviour lightly... though if they really want to, they will find a way.

Small fines seem appropriate from what I know now - but in any case problems stem more from dependancy than addiction, at least. (This is just because a cautious 'it is not safe until it is safe unless no active ingredients are absent' attitude)

There are a few correlation things that need to be resolved for causation before we can decide though.

And by the way - ethanol = alcohol. /nerd. :)

[mark414]

80. see that IS authoritarian though

should we ban sky-diving or bungee jumping because they are overly risky activities? lots of people die driving in cars, should we ban them? and certainly if you want to talk about risky behavior, then the mother of all is alcohol, and we here in america all know how well a ban on THAT worked out...(oh wait, it didn't).

basically, i am of the school of thought that says the government is not the angel on your shoulder, it is not your parent or legal guardian and it is not in the position to tell me what i can and can't do to my own personal self so long as i'm not harming anyone else.

yes, i love to smoke pot, and i'm going to smoke pot for as long as i live no matter WHAT it's legal status is - ironically, i believe that it is the ILLEGAL status of drugs that causes so many problems. the illegality of them not only instantly creates a criminal class of users, but a wide network of criminal dealers, growers, kingpins, etc...basically, the LAW ITSELF sides with the drug lords because the drug laws not only allow but nessecitate their existence - legalize it, legalize ALL drugs and that massive criminal underclass is instantly wiped out - they have no leg to stand on.

i've no problem with people who don't condone drug use as i believe it to be a completely personal choice, and that's exactly it! a personal choice, one that i as a rational and capable adult am going to make for myself and yes some people can't handle their drugs but some people can't handle their booze either so why should i be punished for that?

i am a left winger that's for sure, but i've got a nasty streak of libertarianism in me, especially when it comes to this bullshit drug war we've got raging here in america...i'm not sure how it is in australia, but that's how i see it from this side of the pacific.

[NMMNG]

22. A few of the above plus other

Smoking is a definite turn off. Someone being religious is fine, but if they are constantly proselytizing to me or are a complete rabid fundie then forget it. Strong street drugs are not something I'm interested in dealing with. I'll also immediately ditch anybody who proves to be a hateful/a bigot or abusive toward other people or animals. Rethugs are obviously a no-no unless they are moderate/nearly Dems. Then maybe we have a chance.

[Jamastiene]

26. Republican, not interested in the long term and other

My other would be that they don't like cats/animals. My cats are by babies. They stay. The person would have to go in that case.

[NMMNG]

34. I don't blame you

Animal haters are a no-no.

[Jamastiene]

52. Absolutely.

They gotta love animals because I do and animals love me. I simply can't turn that love off.

[mike_c]

29. hmmm, I've either overlooked most of the items on the list...

...at one time or another, or been guilty of one or two myself! Never been a republican of course, and never dated one to my knowledge, but when the lights are low.... :shrug:

[NMMNG]

35. A Republican is as acceptable as anyone else if you gag them

and, in some cases, put a bag over their head. :rofl:

[mike_c]

44. ah-- I do that with my dates routinely, so that explains why...

...I don't know about their politics, I suppose.

[NMMNG]

47. BDSM, eh?

They say the people who are control freaks in the 'real world', like Republicans and high ranking corporate executives, usually like to be subs.

[Oeditpus Rex]

53. And, as Basil Fawlty once said

"You'll have to sew 'em back on first."

[Anarcho-Socialist]

50. 2 or more - smokes, street drugs and republican

Alcohol could be a problem if they drink heavily.

[tjwmason]

55. The nearest to one would be drugs.

Which would mean something stronger than a few puffs of marijuana at the week-end which wouldn't bother me in the slightest. To be honest, it would be more the interaction with the (by definition) criminal gangs who supply it than the consumption of the narcotic.

Some of the others may well act as a dampener, but I wouldn't automatically put on the brakes as a result.

[billyskank]

56. Fortunately there are few Republicans in Britain

or rather, the word "republican" here means something quite different. :hi:

[tjwmason]

59. Well...

I've got at least one friend who is a full-blown Bush supporting neo-con, I've got one who supports Sinn Fein, and others who want to abolish the monarchy. I think that covers all the definitions of republican. :hi:

[billyskank]

61. So let nobody say that republicans are a monolithic block

marching in lockstep with each other! :rofl:

[RagingInMiami]

58. Republican without a doubt

Unlike last century, I slip politics into the conversation as soon as possible to be able to weed them out if I need to.

[RagingInMiami]

60. Another one that is not mentioned

A woman who indicates she is looking to get married ASAP.

[NMMNG]

88. You mean the type who wants to talk china patterns by the third date?

:scared:


That makes me think of a joke that goes around gay/lesbian circles:


What does a lesbian bring on her second date?

A U-haul.

What does a gay man bring on his second date?

What second date?

:P

[RagingInMiami]

102. No, I mean the one you meet online

And you e-mail each other for a couple of weeks and she's really cool and you've seen her picture and she's really cute, and you finally agree to meet her, thinking to yourself that you're a lucky man because she's seen your picture and also finds you attractive.

But then when you meet her, she asks you straight up if you would be willing to get married soon. And when you ask how soon, she tells you six months or less. That is when you laugh in her face and tell her that if you've gone this long without getting married, you sure as hell not going to marry somebody you just met within six months.

You give her the old, "if it's meant to be, then what's the need to rush?"

That was an extreme case. I've gone out with a few others who started putting the pressure on getting married within a month into the relationship. I even had one girl who bought her own engagement ring.

But that's another story altogether.

[NMMNG]

116. Scary

I know that women, particularly in some families/communities, are brought up to believe that they are nothing unless they are married but that is bizarre.

[Fox Mulder]

62. My two biggest turn-offs are up there:

-women who smoke
-women who have kids

I can get around the whole Republican thing. Not all Republicans are evil or dellusional like how freepers present themselves..

[Rabrrrrrr]

63. They have no curiosity or imagination

[MissMillie]

64. street drugs/republican/not interested in commitment

I'm not a fan of smoking either, but that is much less of an issue (unless I think the person already has some pretty serious health issues because of it--I wouldn't want to commit to someone who is obviously not going to be around very long).

[LanternWaste]

65. No deal-breakers for me...

I've thought about this before and I'd be dishonest if I said there was one, absolute deal-breaker.

Gotta take everyone for the sum or their parts rather than just parts of their sum. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

[Iniquitous Bunny]

66. Probably street drugs with an explanation.

I don't find pot all that horrible in moderation. I'd take someone who smokes it once a week over someone who drank a 6-pack plus every day. Anyone who "needed" any mind altering substance on a daily basis (vicodin is legal, but plenty of people can get hooked on that) would probably be out. Any other street drug would likely completely eliminate the person.

I highly doubt I'd date a Republican either. Never have, but I'm off the market, so this is moot thankfully. :D

[jpgray]

69. The only one of those that might do it is the Repub one

[JVS]

82. I picked kids

Way worse than street-drugs.

[Bunny]

70. They keep a severed foot in their refrigerator.

Now I can overlook a lot of things, but the severed body part will always be a dealbreaker.

[ScreamingMeemie]

71. ...

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[Bunny]

72. Okay, maybe if it was their own severed foot it wouldn't be so bad.

But if it's someone else's, the relationship is definitely off.

:hi: Mrs. G!

[NMMNG]

89. But how else can they keep it fresh?

:P

[Bunny]

93. Fresh? Fresh for what?

You can't even really eat a foot, can you? A liver, kidney or heart - sure. But a foot? Now that's just gross!


:rofl:

[NMMNG]

96. Maybe it's a reminder of a deceased loved one.

Some people keep ashes in an urn, others keep a foot in a refrigerator. :shrug:

[Bunny]

99. I wish you had not told me that. I'm a sucker for sentimental men.

Crap. I've always shown bad judgement in picking men. And now, you've removed the one, ONE thing that I could count on. :cry:

[NMMNG]

114. I was just kidding

I didn't seriously expect you to date a person with body parts in their refrigerator. I'd expect you to run like the wind.

[Bunny]

121. Haha!

I knew you were kidding, I'm just being a big goof! :hi:

[NMMNG]

122. Ok

Sometimes it's hard to tell with the online environment. There are no nonverbal or paraverbal cues after all. :P

[Ramsey]

73. Smoker/Republican/Drug user

Are all red flags for me.

[Samurai_Writer]

74. My deal breakers...

smoking
republican/conservative
ultra-religious
allergic to animals
bigot
racist
homophobic
misogynist


No wonder I can't get a date...

[NMMNG]

90. Believe it or not

I don't smoke, I'm not a repub/con, I'm an atheist, I'm not allergic to animals, I'm not bigoted/racist, being a lesbian I can't be a homophobe, and being a woman I'm certainly no misogynist.

[Samurai_Writer]

94. Well then let's go out!

Saturday work for you? You can get to Colorado by then, right? ;)

[NMMNG]

95. Sure, it's only 1700 miles or so

:rofl:

[u4ic]

109. I've known plenty of female misogynists

:scared:

(not surprisingly, most are religious conservatives)

[NMMNG]

115. Good point

Hating yourself and all your kind must be a horrible thing.

[LeftyMom]

75. smoker/street drugs/republican/eats dead animals

The last one is the only thing I have a hard and fast rule about. It took me a while to come to that conclusion but I really don't feel comfortable dating omnivores.

[ZombieNixon]

76. Smoking or street drugs.

Marijuana I'm not sure about...I'd prefer she didn't use it, but if everything else was wonderful, I might be able to get over it.

Smoking I can't deal with because I have an allergic reaction to cigarette smoke and can't stand the smell. Smoker's kiss...:puke:

Or a overly conservative religious Republican with no hope of redemption, I guess. :shrug:

[arwalden]

77. He Was Compulsive Liar.

[WCGreen]

78. Smokin' Republicans....

Don't get any worse than that....

[Lydia Leftcoast]

79. Turn-offs: Smoker, street drug user, anger junkie,

recreational arguer, Republican or Libertarian, unwilling to venture out of comfort zone, alcoholic tendencies (three Manhattans before dinner or showing up at my door drunk...), already in a relationship and looking for action on the side, acts arrogrant towards restaurant and store personnel

Turn-ons: wide-ranging intelligence, subtle sense of humor, verbal agility, wicked glints in the eyes, sense of adventure and curiosity, genuine from-the-heart kindness (as opposed to doormat, passive-aggressive "niceness"), left of center values, spiritual depth (definitely NOT in the sense of "I am so deeply spiritual and creative and deep-feeling that you're lucky to know me").

[BlueIris]

106. Ooooh, excellent list, L.L. It has fleshed out my own quite nicely.

Which is why I don't see myself in a relationship again for a very, very long time. :-)

[liberalhistorian]

81. When you want to be with someone, but they

don't want to be with you, that is the worst feeling of all!!!!! :cry: :cry: :cry:

[RedCloud]

83. make up!

I don't think people should try to emulate papio ursinis or the mandrill baboon, but that's where they get a lot of these color ideas.

Oh yeah, smoking, being an alcoholic or a druggie.


What's wrong with me? I should be more supportive.

Oh yeah, and a mental elevator that goes to a fully furnished penthouse would be quite nice!

[sakabatou]

84. No, not yet...

[Marie26]

85. Doesn't leave a tip.

It's over. :)

[TOhioLiberal]

86. Drugs...

...not talking about weed either. Hardcore stuff is a definite deal-breaker.

[Deja Q]

91. You forgot "Your potential partner has an STD. Oops."

:blush:




:yoiks:

[NMMNG]

126. That's why there was an "other" option

I wasn't able to come up with (or fit) every possible budding-romance killer. :P

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

92. I put smoking out of those. I've grown up with a house full of 2nd hand

smoke, I wouldn't need to go out and get more

[CatholicEdHead]

97. Extreme Homophobic and Ayn Rand fan

She thought "gays smell" and "all gays are phedophiles", then after I saw her profile go back up on the net, she told me "all lazy people are communists" and said she loved Ayn Rand. She considered herself a "moderate". :puke:

[Deja Q]

98. I've heard of 'gaydar', but all the men I know, gay or not, smell the same

:shrug:

[alarimer]

100. Smoking and Republican

Actually I would date a non-smoking Republican before I would date ANY smoker, no matter how liberal. I would prefer that they not have kids but that isn't a deal-breaker.

[Maestro]

101. Republican and street drugs

I don't need no repuke meth addict! :puke:

[sendero]

103. If she is..

... sans vagina, or might as well be :)

[catbert836]

104. Self-hatred or deeply-rooted insecurity.

I could never have a relationship with someone who hates themselves.

[BlueIris]

105. You are a wise, wise person, catbert836. You will go far.

[pitohui]

108. there is no sex like sex w. a reckless self-hating crazy

i'm just sayin

you don't have to marry the person

[pitohui]

107. everything else can be overcome except a child

i'm not raising or financially supporting someone else's child period end of sentence

i have even (a few decades ago) been involved with a republican, i was even involved w. a fundy religious nut, but having a child is the deal breaker -- it kills any thought of romance instantly, any sexual attraction dies like a snap of the fingers


religion/politics are something that can be ignored in the first flush of romance -- sure, these differences will kill the relationship in the end, but at least you can have good sex for a while

the dude who already has a kid, there is nothing sexually attractive about him to me, and i have never even as a teen-ager knowingly had sex w. a man who had a child, that is just...it just kills it, spoils any fantasy and makes it all a stupid depressing cheap soap opera

[NewWaveChick1981]

110. The only deal-breakers on the list for me are smoking and

Repuke. I can deal with the rest. :)

[Redstone]

111. None of the above.

Redstone

[jobycom]

112. Lying and/or game playing.

[Porcupine]

113. I'm currently being stalked by a fundie republican gal

with a great rack. She's actually a nice person until these subjects come up.

I'm holding out. Three years without sex and it's STILL a deal breaker.

[NMMNG]

125. I've noticed that tendency with that type

She's actually a nice person until these subjects come up.

I have a friend who claims to be a Democrat, but any time she gets on a rant she spews nothing but right-wing talking points and opinions. I can't stand to be around her then because she's so angry and nasty.

[xchrom]

118. none of those things are particular turn-offs -- so

the other person would at least get laid.

pathological lying and being a conservative makes it impossible for more than a role in the hay.

[Ariana Celeste]

119. Religious/Republican/Not interested in long term.

I can handle the rest. I don't smoke anymore but I could handle someone else doing it. I like kids, I could get used to that. I do drugs and I drink, so. I probably couldn't handle anyone who doesn't do them or gets freaked out about it.

[liberalhistorian]

120. Ha! Right, like

THAT will ever be something I'll need to worry about! :cry:

[calico1]

123. Smoking is definitely a deal breaker.

So is drug use of any kind or heavy drinking. I could go out with a Republican if he's the type that doesn't talk about politics and respects my views.

[KamaAina]

124. OMG! I just voted "Republican"!

although it is highly unlikely that I'd be clicking and good-vibing with Ms. Repuke in the first place.