I'm watching "Sensual Body Piercing"

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

The warning on the box says it contains "nudity, adult language, and general decadence."

You know it's quality recording when it starts out with "Recorded in EP mode. Adjust your tracking"

Oh man, I can tell already this is going to be cheese-o-riffic. It's like a bad 80s music video montage. I think they just showed Vanilla Ice dancing. I could have used better production values by making this in my basement with the aid of my junkie friend. OMG The production company is called "Lame Ear" and they just flashed "Super Sexy Freaks" across the screen.

So far, this is far from being sensual, shocking, decadent. Boring tattoos on boring clothed people with a boring guy talking. Okay, now they're showing gratuitous tattooed gyrating woman in leather lingerie and alternating it unattractive people sitting on stools.

Man, Mystery Science Theatre should have covered this documentary. I think I should turn it off soon and watch it later with my tattoo artist, so we can make fun of it.

[ThomCat]

1. Your review is awesome.

If you have the stomach for it, watch some more and tell us about it.

:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

2. Okay, well I took some pictures of the screen.

This one is before I realized I needed to turn the flash off. So yeah, two guys sitting in front of a public access backdrop talking.


Another guy talking (also in front of public access backdrop)


The randomly gyrating woman (who between the last two segments...gyrated for 4 minutes)


I'm so glad this came in a box of free videos, if I had to pay for this, I'd probably feel the need to go out and murder babies with a pit bull. I was expecting this to be like some sort of dirty video featuring erotic piercings. Nope, it's mostly ugly people wearing long pants, long sleeves, hats, and talking about their mostly REALLY POORLY DONE TATTOOS alternated with gyrating woman.

It's like a few bad tattoo artists decided that maybe they would stop being sucky tattoo artists if they got their customers together to talk about how great their shitty tattoos are.

[LeftyMom]

3. Randomly Gyrating Woman's ugly bra doesn't fit.

:shrug:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

4. Yeah, but at least the ill-fitting bra distracts you from the torn fish

nets and faded blobs of tattoos that she has.

This is truly an assembling of the dumbest, most unattractive tattooed people out there. Amazing really. Thank God, nobody who wasn't already into body mods would ever watch this video, because otherwise there would be even worse stereotypes of us.

[ThomCat]

5. It's amazing that people with bad taste rarely know it.

If they give their names in there anyplace you might want to post it here. You know, just to give them credit for their fine work.
:P

I'm sure tattoo fans would love to know who these people are.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

6. Oh man, here's one line...

"I want to get my whole back done, but I want it to be really meaningful for me, so I'm having my boyfriend design it for me."

[txwhitedove]

7. Hey, think I'll have the grandkids design mine!

Most quotable: "Cheese-o-riffic!"

:rofl:

[ThomCat]

8. I hope he has good taste and style!

And I hope he doesn't have a warped sense of humor.
:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

10. Judging by her, I doubt it.

I've moved onto video 2 of the documentary. Check out post #9.

Holy shit I just saw the hairiest nipple ever get pierced. Shaved chest with wookie nipples. It's quite disturbing.

[ThomCat]

11. Wookie Nipples! I'm dying here!

:rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

12. These are not people who should be trusted with putting needles

through anything, even an earlobe. Let alone a nipple. Although, I guess if you have wookie nipples, how much more could they mess them up?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

9. In the name of Bad Cinema, I'm popping in the 2nd half now.

Yes, they made this a TWO video documentary (even though it's 2 hours long and recorded in EP mode).

Okay, a bunch of flashing pierced nipples, tongues getting clamped, more nipples, writhing guy, wiggling tongue, HOTT girl (where was she in the first one).

We're definitely not starting out to a more intelligent start. First line, "Hi mom!" *Sticks tongue out* So far we're still in front of the same cheesy public access backdrop. People are just listing their piercings. Very exciting. Except for one mentioned, none were exactly sensual. OOoooooOOOooo...ears and nose. You rebel!

Mostly the exact same dumb people showing off their piercings. I'm not sure whether they're imitating 80s music videos or the "MTV style editing" they would use in PSAs I had to watch in school, with these montages. Last one ended with a guy going, "don't you touch her breasts" in a retarded voice.

Now a tongue is getting pierced (also poorly, I might add. The piercers I know can do it a lot faster and with a lot less yanking of the tongue. I'm beginning to suspect this guy isn't a real piercer.

HOTT girl is getting a navel piercing. Piercer's hand is shaking, not a good sign. Slow motion facial reactions on her, made to look slightly orgasmic. Final result of piercing: completely inappropriate jewelery to heal a new navel piercing. This must be the real reason why the disclaimer said not to try anything you see on here yourself.

[GirlinContempt]

13. Sorta like how with Kink

they promised me crazy fetishes, and then delivered a few solid seasons of boring mundane crap.

Each was GUARANTEED to have:
A dominatrix, possibly polyamourous, always with a heart of gold.
Bigamists.
Transgender preop.
Sadists+masochists
A gay couple with large age differences and possibly mundane fetish (bondage, body hair, feet, whatever)

Like, OVER and OVER and OVER, but kept claiming they were exploring the fringes of sexuality in Canadas hottest cities. Once they did furries. I never ever watched again. Not even for the comedy.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

14. Seriously, I could have made this video, only better

with $100 (for supplies), my piercer & tattoo artist and half a dozen friends. The dialogue would have been better, along with the tattoos. The people would be more attractive. The piercer wouldn't be shaky. The camera wouldn't be shaky. The jewelery used in navel piercings would be correct and we'd be telling people PROPER aftercare procedure.

[GirlinContempt]

15. Do it up

Apparently there is money to be made!