Time To Play Fill In The Blank - "It's So Fucking Hot, __________________"

[matcom]

GO!

[ohiosmith]

1. I saw a bird using a pot holder to pull a worm out of the ground.

[NMDemDist2]

2. but but but

it's raining here and 80 degrees

you shoulda talked to me LAST week!

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. I'd even spend time with matcom if it meant being in air conditioning.

:P

[matcom]

13. i have TONS of air conditioning

and who are YOU kidding! christ man, if you ever met me you would probably go RIGHT for my man-package :eyes:

[Rabrrrrrr]

17. No, I'd go for your wife's man-package.

I hear hers is more manly than yours.

:rofl: :patriot: :rofl: :eyes:

[matcom]

19. you heard right

and i'm RIGHT NOW having her read this and she is gonna log in and TRASH YO' ASS! :rofl:

[Rabrrrrrr]

21. Well, then, let me come down out of my ivory tower and take my Dockers

and boat shoes off so she can properly kick my ass.

[Mrs.Matcom]

24. OMG!!!!!!!!!1

Dockers and boat shoes???? You have now earned the name "Martha Villa"...that is what we call Matcom!!! I, on the other hand, am known as "Norm". As in Norm from this old house! Yes, my tool belt is bigger than both of yours!!! I am WOMAN hear me ROAR!!!! sit down you little girly girl!!! :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. I just peed my pants out of fear.

:scared:

Oh, God, I need some Motrin IB . . . :cry:

[Mrs.Matcom]

36. No dear...

you need some PAMPRIN!!!!! OR MIDOL!!!!!! :evilgrin:

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. Dammit. I fucked up a good joke.

That's what I meant - Midol.

Crap.

Now the rhythm is gone and the fun of the banter is no more since I fucked it up.

Oh, well.

[livetohike]

4. The candles outside on my patio have liquified

(not today, but last week when temps were 100 degrees here).

Thankfully, it is much cooler today and with a nice sea breeze.

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. The wax museum is now the Paraffin Skin Spa

[GoddessOfGuinness]

29. pbpbpbpb

:spray:

[Midlodemocrat]

6. I don't have the energy to laugh at the stuff in the lounge.

[Gatchaman]

7. The sweat is running down

the crack of my ass like the Colorado River.

[yurbud]

15. and when you fart it's Old Faithful

[nini]

8. oh.. it's nice and cool in So Cal

you've got the crap we had last week. Your turn to SUFFER :evilgrin:

[trof]

9. the ducks are walking."

No...wait...
That's fog...or low ceilings or something.
nevermind

[SOteric]

10. It's sooooo fucking hot,

I bought a pound of bacon at the supermarket and it was cooked to a perfect crisp while I walked across the parking lot.


Of course, - it's a lovely 74º with a light breeze here, and I don't eat bacon. But I do so enjoy a bit of fun.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. My Plugra browned on the ride home...

[SOteric]

14. If only you could have turned on the a/c!

You would have paid print rates for clarified butter!

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. "paid print rates" - you lost me there.

You mean, I could have had it for cheaper than paying for clarified butter?

I haven't heard that term "print rates" before in relation to food. Or anything, for that matter.

[SOteric]

47. Ah. Well. As it happens,

Small one pound blocks of butter or margarine are called butter prints (or margarine prints). Or sometimes just prints. It's not as inexpensive as buying blocks, - usually 50 lbs. each. And far less pricey than buying it already clarified.

[Rabrrrrrr]

50. Interesting. I've never heard or read that term in relation to butter.

Thanks!

[Guy Fawkes]

12. milk was a bad choice!

[Zomby Woof]

16. That I wish I had popsicles and blue hair

Courtesy of MiniMandaRuth. :D

[Roon]

20. It's so hot

That I turned on the furnace to cool the house.

[Katina]

22. my underwired bra has fused my cleavage together! nt

.

[barb162]

56. hahahahah

(know what you mean)

[GOPisEvil]

23. Eh, feels like August to me.

:shrug:

[Mrs.Matcom]

25. Hey Sweetie!!!

i know you are THE manly man of the whole lot of them! My GOP never complains about the heat because your motto is " If you can't stand the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen"! :* Miss you tons!!!

[GOPisEvil]

27. Complaining won't make it go away!

Plus, I'm here in the air conditioning.

I miss you a ton, too! :*

How's life with Mr. Salty? ;)

[matcom]

28. it's only 'salty' if she swallows

:eyes:

:rofl:

:hide:

[GOPisEvil]

30. !!

:popcorn:

[Mrs.Matcom]

37. Now I am being told

that "dinner is ready and i can play later while he plays x-box soccer" ...give me a freaking break!!!! Good thing I took my HRT pills last night or he would be DEAD!!!!! BASTID that he is!!!!!!!

[GOPisEvil]

41. WTF?!?!?!

Who's the man here? Who wears the pants? YOU DO!!! Kick his ass! :P

[Mrs.Matcom]

45. Can't do that

he like it when I kick him in the pants. so I will ignore him for the rest of the night and that should just put a bend in him...bwahahahaha! I just love being evil!!!

[GOPisEvil]

48. I forget that's he backward...

:rofl:

[Mrs.Matcom]

34. AS IF!!!!!!!

Sorry David honey, the bad man got the computer away from me! Mr. Salty is a big whiny girl...what can I say??? We have the A/C cranked and he is still complaining. I went out and watered the tomatoes, weeded some of the garden and started the pork roast...he is still whinning about the heat, and the bastid is from Maryland??? WTF????? BIG GIRL!!!! sorry ladies!

[GOPisEvil]

38. Wait, wait, wait...YOU started the pot roast?!

Martha F'in Stewart isn't cooking tonight?!

Yeah, it's never hot and humid in Maryland. :eyes:

[Midlodemocrat]

40. Oh, Mrs.Matcom, my new BFF

You know who wasn't very well behaved today. Just thought you would want to know.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5444992&mesg_id=5444992


It's okay, honey, when you leave him, you can come here. I'll make an exception for you due to the 'circumstances' in MA.



:bounce:

[Mrs.Matcom]

43. Hello Darling!!

Ah, he was naughty again...well...I'll let you in on a secret, shhhh. He has to be naughty so many times a day or he won't get his lashes with a wet noodle every night. He just loves those lashes!!! I'm sorry that he picked on you and yours! So now he shall not get a single lash tonight! :hi: :D

[Midlodemocrat]

44. How are you?

Psst. Don't tell him, but he actually makes me LOL almost all the time. He is so damned funny and this has been a rough summer.


Thank God for the lounge!! Are you staying cool up there? It was 104 here today. Tomorrow should be about the same. Thank the Gods for A/C.

[Mrs.Matcom]

46. I've noticed

that you have had a rough time lately, so here are many :hug:! It is just nasty here today and tomorrow is supposed to be worse, I agree thank the gods for A/C, even I won't mind paying the electric bill next month. Glad that he does make you laugh, he makes me laugh too, of course all I have to do is look at him :D

[MiniMandaRuth]

26. That I HAVE BLUE HAIR!!!!!

MY HAIR IS BLUUUUUUE!!!!

[Zomby Woof]

31. Frickin' tight yo!

:D

[MiniMandaRuth]

35. It is frickin' tight!

It's the frickin' tightest thing since rims that spin on their own!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

33. The mosquitoes have headed south to cool off.

[ikojo]

42. The sun is wearing sun block

SPF 1 MILLION

[NewWaveChick1981]

49. I nearly tore my clothes off on the T....

Riding the damn subway in Boston in this awful heat is just too hot. The stations are about 20 degrees hotter than outside (which was like hell anyway), and the air DOES NOT MOVE. :grr: Five women from our group were heading back to the hotel a short while ago, and all we did on the T was sweat and sweat and sweat. One of the women almost fainted---she wasn't feeling well anyway, but she turned pale and had to sit down.

THAT's how hot it is. :mad:

[Merrick]

51. Jesus rescheduled the rapture for November

[jane_pippin]

52. that when I woke up this morning I thought I'd reached menopause.

:shrug:

[judaspriestess]

53. Even a ducks ass in water can't keep itself cool

[UrbScotty]

54. For the first time since 2002, the air in MI is hotter than our governor!!

[barb162]

55. the poor birds were panting

[barb162]

57. tires were melting on the expressways

you could fry an egg on the sidewalk
Bush didn't exercise this morning and ate pretzels on the couch
Congress closed down, saved the country some money and stopped spewing more hot air

[BreweryYardRat]

58. Florida is cooler than most of the country!

Never thought I'd see that! I may have to think twice about moving away from here in a few years!

[krispos42]

59. I'm self-basting

Actually, it's cool and rainy here in the Cities... but it was 101 on Sunday. And the hottest spot in the COUNTRY on Sunday was Mobridge, South Dakota!


SOUTH DAKOTA!

You say 'South Dakota' and people think motorcycle rally, abortion ban, and SNOW...

and it's 112 fucking degrees!!! Air temp, not the heat index! Beating Las Vegas by 9 degrees!

[datasuspect]

60. i live in texas

and i swear i heard someone say, "it's hotter than buffalo piss on a tin roof."

[Jamastiene]

61. I usually say it's hotter than the hinges of forty hells.

On the coldest days of winter, I either say it's colder than a Republican's heart or it's colder than a pimp's heart.