I had the greatest conversation of my life RE: women last night

[HEyHEY]

It was an amazing monologue performed by my buddy Brew... a 6 foot 3, 220 pound mechanic. But, the guy is a total genius when it comes to girls.
Anyway, he was pontificating over a beer and saying some smart things about the girl and guy dynamic. But it was all replete with humour I don't even think he realized he'd injected into his little speech.

"If you manage to get the girl to agree to a date, and she shows up, you've won. Everything after that is bonuses."

My other favourite was;

Brew: "You wanna get in good with her Dad, no matter what. Be his buddy. Cause he's the one who can control where your relationship with his daughter is going."

Me: "Well, don't you first have to figure out which parent holds the balance of power in the family?"

Brew: "It's the Mom, but she's easy... just bring her flowers... there, done. She loves ya now."

I wish I had a fucking tape recorder... I coulda sold the whole thing word for word.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

1. 40 Year Old Virgin's been playing on HBO.

Lots o' pearls in that movie.

e.g. "what you've got to do is plant a lot of seeds. And then when the seed grows into a plant- fuck the plant."

[HEyHEY]

2. My buddy told me that one

Before I saw the movie and I laughed my ass off.

[NewJeffCT]

3. I knew a guy like that

When he was a senior in high school, he went out of his way to be super nice to ALL of the freshman girls in his high school...

But, when he was a senior in college at state U (the University of Connecticut), a bunch of these freshman girls ended up going to the same school as this guy... so, here was this guy they remember as being super nice to them 4 years earlier at what was probably a tough time in their lives (frosh in high school) and now these young women are now away from home for the first time and maybe again having a tough time...well, let's just say this guy did not lack for female companionship.

Obviously, somebody taught this guy well.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

14. Best line in that movie.

And that's one seriously funny movie.

[Nicole]

4. I think he's wrong

Brew: "It's the Mom, but she's easy... just bring her flowers... there, done. She loves ya now."

Speaking as a mom, I was not easily won over by the flowers thing. In fact it made me more suspicious of any guy who felt the need to do that. :P

[Fleshdancer]

5. my mom was always a sucker for flowers

but in her defense, the few guys I dated who brought her flowers turned out to be the nicest. :)

[Nicole]

8. Sounds like you chose

good guys so the flowers were welcomed.

The 2 little creeps who brought me flowers turned out to be assholes. So I was suspicious after that.

I'm thankful my daughter's taste improved as she aged. :rofl:

[NewJeffCT]

11. I've never really bought flowers for moms

I don't recall buying flowers for any moms over the years, and I don't recall having any problems with the few parents I have met through the years. I guess I give off the illusion of being a nice guy for my first impression to most parents. I have bought plenty of flowers over the years for various girlfriends, though.

Believe it or not, I think my ex-wife's mom was probably more worried that her daughter would take advantage of me, than vice versa. And, her dad was kind of like me in that he was the quiet, easy going type.

With my wife now, I think her parents and sister also bought into my nice guy façade right away, even though they did not really speak English. Heck, I did not meet her parents until 6 months after we got married! In fact, most of the times we have had arguments, she would eventually call her sister. Her sister would take my side and tell my wife she was being unreasonable, and that my wife needed to control her temper. (My joke to my wife is that her sister is a very wise woman!)

[Nicole]

15. My son-in-law never bought me flowers

Well not until he had been around a couple of years anyway. Then he bought them for my birthday or when I was in the hospital. He didn't buy them early on as a way of impressing me though. It was more like he bought them after I had impressed him. :)

I never had problems with any of my daughter's dates, except the 2 weasels who bought flowers so that's why I'm jaded on that, I guess.

Laughing at you telling your wife her sister is a very wise woman. :rofl:

[HEyHEY]

6. I think if you're sincere, you're okay

[Nicole]

9. Could be

I think the ones I ran into were just sincere about putting up a front though. :P

[radwriter0555]

7. I bet he's single, right?

:D

[HEyHEY]

12. nope, hardly ever

[CJCRANE]

10. I just like the fact

that your beer buddy is called Brew.

:)

[HEyHEY]

13. Yeah, if I showed you a pic...you'd like it even more

[CJCRANE]

16. Well

maybe as a wingman.

[HEyHEY]

17. No no, not like that

I mean he looks exactly like a guy nicknamed "brew" should look.

[BlueIris]

18. Are those polar bear cubs?