I'm livid about the Lounge's lack of Limbaugh limericks!

[Orrex]

For pity's sake, I had to go to GD to find some!

Here are a few offerings to prime the pump, and I expect my fellow Loungers to keep things going. Don't make me bust out my two-dozen Brazilian jokes again...

Here goes:

A loathsome Conservative whore
Was addicted to Oxy and more.
When they asked his excuse
For Viagra abuse,
He said, "Things were much harder before."

Unable, while on his vacation,
To rise to the happy occasion,
The Republican shill
Bought a bag of blue pills,
And he screwed, so to speak, his probation.

From the boner pills in his possession,
We learn an amusing new lesson:
That a Neocon fluffer
Ironically suffers,
In essence, a lack of tumescence.

When a sexy percussionist lass
Was moved by tequila to ask
The rotund Mr. Limbaugh
To try her marimba,
She found him not up to the task.

[Road Scholar]

1. Just don't Rush to judgement....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Orrex]

2. You asked for it!

Sez Rumsfeld "We've lost three Brazilians.
"Not soldiers, alas, but civilians."
Sez the Prez, head in hands,
"I just don't understand!
"How many are in a brazillion?"

[Road Scholar]

3. ROFLMAO Good one! nt

[Road Scholar]

4. Now, I'm startin' to get livid.

[otherlander]

5. I can't just THINK of a limrick, you know!

They kinda have to just pop up in my brain. But here. I'll try.

There once was a monger of fear
Who liked to judge, mock, and leer.
but then, one night,
a most unfortunate sight
when he mixed viagra with beer:

[KamaAina]

6. As you wish...

There once was a fascist named Rush
Who kept his prescriptions hush-hush
Then his miniature mound
Of Viagra was found
Now he's back to just being a lush!

[Orrex]

7. Thanks, everyone! Some great stuff there!

Bravo--I'll see if I can come up with a few more...

[regularguy]

8. OK:

The was a Dominican Lass
who saw in this rightwing trash
a chance to get rich
but his dick wouldn't twitch
so he showed her the cyst on his ass

[Orrex]

10. That's the worst thing I've ever read

:puke:

And I've read Naked Lunch!

[Arugula Latte]

15. Good gawd!

:rofl:


:applause:

[Orrex]

9. Another

Thanks to little blue pills, he can urge it
To become artificially turgid.
Let that image remain
Deeply etched in your brain,
Because, try as you might, you can't purge it.

[Arugula Latte]

16. Damn you, that's true!!

I think only a lobotomy will get the image of Rush's battle with flaccidity out of my brain now. x(

[Orrex]

11. Another

Rush, hoping that, sometime this summer,
He might "mentor" a young up-and-comer,
Had to settle instead
For bag of blue meds,
When he'd wanted to purchase a hummer!


And shame on all of you for not piling-on!
:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

[Arugula Latte]

12. My attempt:

The rightwing's rabid radio poodle
Went south in order to canoodle
But the drug-addled pig
Has a malfunctioning twig
Folks, his "manhood" is limp like a noodle

[Orrex]

19. Potent!

It's Rush-derogatory, on-target, and funny! What more could one ask?

[SteppingRazor]

13. Here's mine:

There once was a man named Rush
Who was a fat, pillpopping lush
But what his listeners don't know
Is that he goes for bro
And he uses Viagra to pump tush.

[Orrex]

18. Groovy!

Plays upon our suspicions as well as evoking the common root of Repub homophobia!

[Arugula Latte]

14. Another from moi:

"Folks, there's a simple explanation
Why I took Viagra on my vacation
You see, the Clenis
Put a curse on my penis
Now it's unable to do penetration."

[Orrex]

17. Nice!

Any time you can make the Rush-Clenis connection, you're golden!