Why I am leaving DU: a better explanation and a fond farewell.

[Ladyhawk]

There are some very high quality people at DU, so I figured you deserved a better explanation than the one I gave you a few days ago. I've made some good friends here. Many of you defy the nature of the beast (Internet forum) and retain a high moral standard no matter what. I truly admire you. I especially admire your ability to persevere despite stresses and setbacks. I'm sorry if the abruptness of my post hurt any feelings.

I'm going to have to take a break from DU and politics, perhaps a permanent one. My basic sensitivity, my chronic illnesses and other stresses are making it difficult for me to function in day-to-day life. They are making it hard for me to maintain civility in personal relationships and especially on Internet forums. I don't like who I am when I become an ass on an Internet forum. If I do return, it will be in a limited manner. No more GD.

I thought it might help to educate you a bit about the basic nature of the 15 to 20% of human beings who are highly sensitive by nature. I've always detected a difference between my basic nature and that of most others. I was born that way and I've been that way my whole life.

http://tinyurl.com/eqs3a

Hypersensitivity...you say that like it's a bad thing...:shrug:

On her website and in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron notes:

If you find you are a highly sensitive person, or your child is, then you need to be aware of the following points:

* This trait is normal--it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals.
* Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties. Your sight, hearing, and sense of smell are not necessarily keener (although they may be). But your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply.
* Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed.
* This trait is not something new I discovered--it has been mislabeled as shyness (not an inherited trait), introversion (30% of HSPs are actually extraverts), inhibitedness, fearfulness, and the like. HSPs can be these, but none of these are the fundamental trait they have inherited.
* The reason for these negative misnomers and general lack of research on the subject is that in this culture being tough and outgoing is the preferred or ideal personality--not high sensitivity. (Therefore in the past the research focus has been on sensitivity's potential negative impact on sociability and boldness, not the phenomenon itself or its purpose.) This cultural bias affects HSPs as much as their trait affects them, as I am sure you realize. Even those who loved you probably told you, "don't be so sensitive," making you feel abnormal when in fact you could do nothing about it and it is not abnormal at all.

http://www.hsperson.com/

The DU Rules:

3. Civility: Treat other members with respect. Do not post personal attacks against other members of this discussion forum.

4. Content: Do not post messages that are inflammatory, extreme, divisive, incoherent, or otherwise inappropriate. Do not engage in anti-social, disruptive, or trolling behavior. Do not post broad-brush, bigoted statements. The moderators and administrators work very hard to enforce some minimal standards regarding what content is appropriate. But please remember that this is a large and diverse community that includes a broad range of opinion. People who are easily offended, or who are not accustomed to having their opinions (including deeply personal convictions) challenged may not feel entirely comfortable here. A thick skin is necessary to participate on this or any other discussion forum.

Folks break the civility and "no personal attacks" rules all the time on DU. It's expected. The rules are practically ignored with the expectation that some of one's posts will be deleted. Hell, I've broken the rules numerous times myself. Breaking the rules of civility is necessary in order to defend oneself. Flamewars have become--or perhaps have always been--normal on Internet forums, and especially in DU's General Discussion forums. I've often wondered what it is about the anonymity of the Internet that leads us to behave in this manner.

One of the reasons I participated here for so long was I hoped the lack of civil discourse in GD would "toughen me up." Maybe it helped some, but I can't change my inherited nature, which is that of a highly sensitive person. So, according to the rules, I really don't belong on DU because I am hypersensitive. I freely admit it. It makes things difficult in some ways, but in some ways it's a gift. It tends to go along with an artistic and thoughtful nature, both of which I possess. Unfortunately, the stress of being a highly sensitive person in this society tends to impinge upon the positive aspects of the trait, curbing creativity and creating defensiveness. That part of being highly sensitive totally sucks. :(

After I left in a huff, I realized I had, for the most part, stopped posting original threads in GD for fear of being flamed. I also realized I had stopped posting anything that might get me flamed. I went against the grain once again and shouldn't have been surprised at the result. Sensitive folks probably aren't too keen on sharing any observations that run counter to GD "norms."

In effect, the DU rules disallow highly sensitive people--perhaps 15 to 20% of the population--but hell, they also disallow flamewars and GD is perpetually combusting. I ran across this as I was posting:

When I'm bored, I go to DU just to post flamebait

I think GD would benefit by the participation of more sensitive people, but I don't think that is very likely to happen.

Hell...maybe no one belongs on Internet forums. Why do we behave the way we do? It's just sad. All Skinner et al. can do is delete posts as they are alerted and occasionally tombstone someone who flagrantly breaks the rules repeatedly without saying "I'm sorry" in just the right way. This isn't an indictment of the admins. I think they do a hell of a job considering the number and types of people who post here. What I have trouble with is the environment created by anonymous Internet forums in general. There's something about them that makes us behave differently than we would in real life.

I don't like who I am when I fight back on Internet forums. Maybe it's my basic sensitivity. Maybe it's shame left over from my fundy upbringing. In the end, it doesn't matter. I don't enjoy fighting. Others openly claim they enjoy flamebaiting and arguing. I don't understand that. They probably don't understand me, either.

When I posted that I was leaving, I'm sure there were a lot of "don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya" type of posts. There were probably copycat posts mocking my decision, posts saying, "Don't you hate when someone has to be a drama queen and announce they are leaving? Fuck, just do it!" So, hey, I didn't read the thread. Can you blame me? I don't plan to read this one, either, so feel free to express yourself however you like...not that anything I say would stop you.

I imagine the majority of you behaved in a more civilized manner. To you, I bid you a fond adieu. I may return if I can find my footing again, but I won't try "toughening up the GD way" anymore. It doesn't seem to work.

As for my stupid decision to vote for Mr. Bush in the 2000 election, yes, it was a mistake. I have felt a lot of guilt over it. Luckily, my vote didn't change anything because I live in California, which voted for President Gore. Had my state swung red, I would feel even more guilt than I do now.

However, I cannot in good conscience accept too much guilt, for there were mitigating circumstances, which I spoke of in several posts.

In the thread of which I speak, most posters issued a blanket condemnation of anyone who voted Republican. Some gave us "year-2000 losers" a break; some condemned anyone who had ever voted Republican for any reason. The general consensus was, however, that anyone who voted Republican shared a huge amount of blame...some even said 100% of the blame. For awhile after the 2004 election, I felt that angry with anyone who voted for Bush, but finally decided it was pretty hypocritical of me to point a finger at them when I had my own share of life mistakes (hello...year 2000?). I might even say the same of some of you who are still blaming voters. Yes, some of them really fucked up, but if they wake up and decide to help, are you just going to throw their vote back in their face and say, "Screw you!"...or are you going to accept their help which is so desperately needed?

There are stages of grief and one of them is anger. Maybe some of you need to feel the anger for awhile longer before you can let go of the grief, but in the end, we are all human. We all fuck up. No one can stand entirely blameless. Hey, maybe you could have made just ONE MORE call on behalf of Kerry, eh? No one can entirely shoulder the blame, either. Maybe in 2004, "Mary Sue" voted for Bush in Ohio...but what if she sees her error and decides to make up for it as best she can? Will you go on blaming her? Or will you accept her much-needed help? This entire planet is in so much trouble. How much self-righteousness can we afford?

I don't know the answers to these questions. I still feel a lot of anger as I go through my own grieving process. My entire family is wrapped up in the process. Also, I have a problem trusting people who have proven their untrustworthiness by past behavior. Finding the right balance is very difficult for me. Perhaps you find yourself in similar circumstances.

I just wanted to leave you with some things to think about...or not...as you see fit. Adieu, DU.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

1. aw shit. you will be missed...

by me at least. :hug:

Peace to you

[beam me up scottie]

2. I will miss you, Ladyhawk.

But I know where you're coming from.

I hope you return, but if not, goodbye and good luck.

~L

[DemExpat]

3. I hope to see you back here very soon on your new footing, Ladyhawk,

From one HSP to another on this great but often brutal forum.

:hi:

DemEx

[Fovea]

4. I hope you find

the health and peace that you need.
Good luck, be well, and come back to visit!

BB RealP

[incapsulated]

5. As someone who has pretty much left DU...

Except for very occasional lurking and a recent lapse of a few posts, I can tell you that it's a difficult habit to break. And not just on DU, forums in themselves can be addictive, a distraction from issues in our lives we aren't dealing with, and a cause of even more additional stress when we get overly involved, emotionally and mentally. I think it was necessary for me to stop. And you have reached the same conclusion.

Go. Attend to your life and to yourself. You will gain much needed perspective. Take care. :)

[autorank]

8. There you are!!!

I knew something was missing. I wish you the very best.

[incapsulated]

9. Aww, you are sweet!

Thanks, auto. :hug:

[autorank]

So are you...I saw the name and that little wolfie and smiled.

Hang in there. Don't let the negative ones win by chasing you off. Take a break...but, if you
really want to be here, don't let them regulate your behavior. And just remember that favorite
Lounge movie line, "Would you like to meet my little friend?" In this case its a word, Ignore;)

:hi:

[OneBlueSky]

6. thanks for the info, LadyHawk . . .

I'll have to do some more invetigating, but many of the traits also describe me, to one degree or another . . .

and I too have been thinking seriously about withdrawing not only from DU, but from most other internet activity as well . . . my reasons are not exactly the same as yours, but hypersensitivity could well be a part of it . . .

in any event, be well and enjoy your journey . . .

[marions ghost]

18. I think it is possible

for hypersensitive people to develop a little more objectivity over time, particularly to develop strategies for psychological shielding from unwanted and abusive input. But this takes work. I do think it's possible to recognize and not get sucked in by abusers. But I don't blame anyone who thinks these times are rough. We often feel so alone in this culture--more and more people have no social network--it's very easy to lose sight of the fact that you may have more supporters on a public forum than you realize.

Liberals need to be better at fighting at times, as we have serious enemies out there--but that also means learning to conserve your energy and knowing when to back off from a futile encounter.

As for "learning how to be tougher in GD" --throwing yourself off the deep end and being dragged out with a pole may not be the best way to learn to swim.

[autorank]

7. I'd recommend IGNORE to everyone. Good luck to you. I remember

running into you when I first got here and I have favorable memories.

The highly sensitive trait is quite real and this is clearly not a good environment for folks
who feel with that intensity. I suspect we all would if it were safe enough but it's not and
there are so many opportunities to build defenses; the results are obvious.

As for flame wars, it's simply not necessary. I was involved in some serious debate which became
very caustic but it was about a vital issue and what I perceived to be grossly unfair treatment of
a highly respected friend. Even before that ended, and upon reflection, I decided to use IGNORE
routinely whenever the undeniable signs of provocation rear up. I'm not limited in discussion
and debate because the "Ignored" ones are not capable of that, just nasty remarks. There is a
total lack of humor that is really odd; attack is the only really motive. They define themselves
by whom they hate, a distinctly counter productive way to live.

What's odd is that even though the "Ignored" user knows this is the case with me, I'll get 5-6
responses form the ubiquitous "Ignored" to some posts. Silly...I really don't care what they
have to say. It's like walking around in the 3D world and picking arguments. What a strange life
style. Rubbing up against these folks has an easy solution and I suggest it to everyone who
enjoys real political discussion, debate, and activism.

Take care of yourself and devote time to the chronic condition. There are a host of healing
communities out there and some remarkable things are going on. My passion regarding 2004 is
driven to some degree as a result of a family member with a chronic condition that would be
no more were it not for the cynical and self-serving attitude of *.

I wish you the very best and thanks for sharing this. It's good food for thought.

[Divine Discontent]

14. I always forget that option!!!!

the ignore button has GOT to become my friend.

I get sick of people saying "I guess there is a God after all" when something good happens. Life is full of good and bad, it's just the way it is, but these people irritate me and especially the ones that say believers are sick in the head or other hatred comments... sounds like the talking point the false believers use on gays... it sickens me.

THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER!!! :)



www.cafepress.com/warisprofitable <<<--- check it out!

[Deja Q]

47. Seconded.

Put ANYONE who gets on your nerves on ignore. If people you thought were decent are so immature that they won't allow a private conversation, yet send you nasty e-mail -- definitely put them on ignore too. All they'll do is find any means to razz you. And they're not worth it.

And, if you do see a bunch of "ignored" responses, don't un-ignore folks for any reason. The creeps are always there. Let them bait. They'll (in theory) only make themselves look cheap and petty.

:hug:

[Cleita]

58. I noticed that none of my ignores have shown up on this

thread. I do hate to see the DUers, who have contributed in the past and who do generally try to keep it civil, leaving because of those we are pushed to put on ignore.

[bobbieinok]

10. I will miss your posts......I have appreciated the ones I've read

(I'm only on the internet every 3 days or so.... partly b/c of health reasons and partly b/c I get depressed reading about what's going on in the world of today.)

[marions ghost]

11. Anyone who cares about this country

and their place in it is stressed these days. We are all suffering from abuse. 'Lord of the Flies' behavior increases under such conditions. Everyone has to decide for themselves when to take it or leave it. Thanks for your contributions, Ladyhawk. And thanks for your explanation, which I'm sure many can relate to, at least in part. Come back when it feels better.

Carry on.

[Techno Dog]

12. From a newb that doesn't know you

"The rules are practically ignored with the expectation that some of one's posts will be deleted. Hell, I've broken the rules numerous times myself. Breaking the rules of civility is necessary in order to defend oneself. Flamewars have become--or perhaps have always been--normal on Internet forums, and especially in DU's General Discussion forums. I've often wondered what it is about the anonymity of the Internet that leads us to behave in this manner."

I think the mods here are tasked with an impossible job. As you note, people flagrantly break the rules for numerous reasons, the higher the profile of the user the less they think the rules apply to them. From my brief time here anonymity has nothing to do with civility.

Some of the people that have been kindest to me have been faceless screen names, while some of the most obnoxious tirades have come from people very well known who feel their presence is a gift to us all.

I hope things take a positive turn for you.

[greyl]

13. I usually just say "See ya!", but

in your case, I'll say "looking forward to your return after the break".

Oh, and also that I disagree that it's necessary to break the rules to defend oneself. ;)

[applegrove]

15. As a HSP.. I hear ya. Hope to see ya after the renewal!!!

[cboy4]

16. I'm sorry to see you go. No offense, bug I think the post totals of some

people are ridiculously high for the amount of time they've been here.

You have more than 11,000 posts (an average of about 12 per day) and there are people who have way more than you.

Don't you think it's the frequency of posts and the amount of time you're spending here that is more of an issue than your behavior in the forums? If you're here constantly, the greater chances you're going to get in bitter arguments.

I've been here since 2002 and I don't even have 2,000 posts yet.

People need to pace themselves.....take vacations from DU from time to time.

If not.....if you spend your entire life online here, I can see why one might become angry and burnt out and even wanting to give up following politics.

Too much of anything,,,even a good thing like DU, is not healthy

Why not take a break, come back, and then drastically reduce the number of your posts and time you spend online?

I may be all wrong, but that's my two cents coming from a 5-year DU member.

Good luck ladyhawk :)

[Oversea Visitor]

17. So sad

:hug:
Where else but at DU can you get a hug from right across the globe.

[cornermouse]

19. You've always seemed like a nice person.

And when you talk about your fundie mother I know exactly what you're talking about. She was quite skilled at using the "guilt maneuver" on me too. In my case, I moved to another state and felt better immediately. In the end, you have to do what's best for you but I do hope you come back eventually.

[ConsAreLiars]

20. Thjank you for the contributions you have been making.

I have always seen your screen name as an indication that that something worth reading would follow, and have not been dissappointed. I hope you return, but I am sure that whatever else you might do with the time you gave us will benefit others equally, or more. Thank you.

[fujiyama]

21. I hope you return

when you are ready. I appreciate your posts.

Take care and I hope everything works out well for you. And I believe your last few paragraphs are especially relevant. Throwing blame around and feeling hostility toward people may make one feel better for themself for sometime, but ultimately does not forward progressive goals.

[undergroundpanther]

22. Ladyhawke

I'll be there..for YOU ..without DU..if you want me to.
Whatever you do,
Take care you beautiful rare bird.. Purrs and fondness to you,forever.This Cat loves you..I don't abandon my freinds,and you are one..You are always welcome to write me at my real email.off and away from Du.
If you want to,Pm me one last time to send me your contact info. I'll keep it to myself.One reason I'm asking for it is I want to make sure,from time to time you are safe,and ok.Cause I care and I worry about you..

[izzie]

23. Sounds like you are just worn out.

It makes me think of the 60's as the whole county seemed to be in a mess just like now. I guess about ever 20 or 30 years we have to get a leader that likes to hit the ant pile with a stick just ot see what will happen.

[enigmatic]

24. It's fool's gold about boards like this toughening anyone up

First off: :hug:

I've been on the internet since the early 90's, and I cut my BBS/Fourms teeth on FIDO, which really was Wild West back then. And I can tell youi from experience that it doesn't toughen you (or anyone else, IMO) up.

I engaged in epic BBS screamfests w/ right-wing (and sometimes left-wing)nutcases; my thing was that I wore people down before flaming them. It was a rush, I admit it. And I was good at it. And in retrospect, it wasn't something to be proud of, being an internet asshole. Even if I was (or thought I was) right.

These days, I don't get emotionally invested in debate boards (or in DU, GD and GD;P); it's pointless to me. That's why I rarely post here; I'd rather read some of the excellent writers here like Pitt and H2O Man and learn (or at least consider)rather than go asshole in 300 post flamethreads.

I think staying out of GD and GD;P is understandable, but leaving outright maybe is too harsh; I hope you reconsider, as you are one of the people here who help make my experience here better.

Whatever you do, I wish you well. And one more :hug:

[mogster]

25. Hey, Ladyhawk

I've always appreciated your posts, and frankly had no idea you voted for Bush in 2000. And it doesn't matter, it was a different time and age back then. We need to make room for people that saw things in a different way, 911 especially was a big pill to swallow for many and they voted for the incumbent in 2004 because they were afraid. The information stream in the mass media about what really happened hasn't been the best, and this place has amended that - which makes it so important both as information source and a pressure group. It is a fine and difficult balance to keep up the pressure and rethoric against the republican movement and at the same time be ready to welcome any person that see the light and turn towards democracy.
One might compare it to the difficult balance of supporting the troops and at the same time be against the war.
Don't take it too hard if some people seems unforgiving - it's only natural and must be expected, as long as Bush is still in power.
The essential thing must be to kick upwards and look forward, not bring each other down and live in the past.
I'll miss your posts and hope you will come back and not make your farewell a final one :-)

[XanaDUer]

26. Aw, don't leave.

Ignore can be your friend.

:hug:

[Random_Australian]

27. I'll miss you. Drop in sometime. Best of luck!

[Syrinx]

28. I hope you stay!

Please. :hi:

[wizdum]

29. Wow! I got attacked bigtime tonight too, but I had NO IDEA it was such...

...a huge problem. There is way too much negativity around here, and that is because we are focusing too much on our opponents, who are toxic, and not enough on what makes us strong in our beliefs so that others follow us. I know other democrats that voted for Bush in 2004. Shit happens.

I myself was duped into supporting the war at first because I was so afraid after 9-11. I lost a cousin in the North Tower and my family was devastated. I was a basket case for three months after 9-11. Then I saw a concert Yoko put on for the relief workers of New York, and I felt better and started to heal. We all make mistakes. As soon as the shooting started over there, I quickly chickened out and was cutting and running from the whole idea of ever supporting the war to begin with. I demanded Rumsfeld's resignation rather vigorously in my kitchen, but only the eggplant was listening. Talk about feeling hopeless.

We are down these days. Angry, and taking it out on eachother. But that's counter-productive. People forget around here that no energy is actually derived from negativity. All the energy comes from love, beauty, compassion, and union. If you are constantly subjected to bad news, you can't recharge. But if you try to spread some love around here, people jump all over you. It's because they're scared and feel helpless.

Please come to my blog and post some comments. I'm friendly. And I am posting alot of spiritual articles from religious leaders that are really having an impact in trying to turn things around. We must nourish our spirits with positive news and some beauty to stay balanced. Or else we risk becoming the image of our opponent, which is very ugly and extremely toxic.

Spread your wings and fly, Ladyhawk, and feel free to explore the greatest heights. Don't let others pull you down. I support you 100%.

[oasis]

30. Speaking for myself, I enjoyed your insightful posts. Good luck to you.

:hi:

[NMMNG]

31. You will be missed

Come back when you are able. You will have people standing behind you. :hug:

[TomClash]

32. Very sorry you are leaving

I can understand why. And I'm not even hypersensitive.

Voting for Bush in 2000? I still feel guilty for working for John Anderson - in 1980! So join the club.

[wizdum]

33. Here is a viewpoint which could benefit the lot of us...

Between global warming and terrorism, there could be an endless succession of disasters. Are you concerned about the future?

We should never fall victim to pessimism. Patience, optimistic faith and enthusiasm are essential in life, and we must always strive to cultivate these qualities and keep them alive in our hearts. In many ways, people are becoming more and more aware of the need for a spiritual way of living. Spirituality is the very essence of all religions and, in its essence, it is the path of love and compassion.

If there is a one-word solution for all the problems in today’s world, it is compassion. Only love and compassion can solve the problem of terrorism and bloodshed.

Most people today are blinded by ego. There are two types of ego. One is the ego of power and money, but the second type is more destructive. That is the ego that says, “My religion and viewpoint alone are correct. All others are wrong. I will not tolerate anything else.” This is like saying, “My mother is good; yours is a whore!” Unless we eradicate these two types of ego, it will be difficult to bring about peace in the world. The willingness to listen to others, the ability to understand them and the broad-mindedness to accept even those who disagree with us—these are the signs of true spiritual culture. Unfortunately, these qualities are exactly what are missing from the world today.

The greatest enemy the world faces is poverty. Prostitution, terrorism and much of the other violence are, to a great extent, caused by poverty. There are two types of poverty: the lack of food, clothing and shelter, and the lack of love and compassion. If we can eliminate the later, the former will automatically be taken care of. For when people have love and compassion in their hearts, they will spontaneously and wholeheartedly reach out to help those without food, clothing and shelter.

http://mysticalmaven.com/blog/2006/06/18/an-exclusive-interview-with-amma-indias-hugging-saint/

[wizdum]

34. Duplicate post deleted.

[MikeDuffy]

35. "The Fight against Disease Mongering"

which probably has nothing to do with you, except that I was reading an article from the "Public Citizen Health Research Group Health Letter" concerning it as I was reading your post. See link http://collections.plos.org/diseasemongering-2006.php
for any of you who may be interested.

This may have relevance for other situations of "unease" (as opposed to "disease"), especially when there is a lot of money to be made from it by the usual suspects.

OK, I admit it -- I'm too lazy to start my own thread!

[Phx_Dem]

65. thanks for the link nt

[Totally Committed]

36. My very best and godspeed...

I wish you nothing but the best, but hope after a little vacation you decde to return. You will be missed.

TC

[Crunchy Frog]

37. You've always been one of my favorite posters.

I don't think I've ever had any direct interactions with you here, but your posts have always really stood out for me. I've appreciated your sharing of your problems with depression (which I also have), and your issues with your Fundie family and the difficult road of breaking with your Fundie upbringing.

I have always found you to be a civil and thoughtful poster. I think you're right that DU can have a very unhealthy influence in some of our lives, but I think you've made it a better place and I will miss you. I don't blame you for your 2000 vote either. I think that your coming to political awareness is a wonderful thing. We need to figure out how we can wake more people up.

Take as long as you need, but I do hope that I'll see you again here sometime.:pals:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

38. God Bless And May Good Things Come To You.

[omega minimo]

57. Sub-Thread Deleted

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

78. Grow Up Omega. This Sort Of Stalking Is Uncalled For.

[omega minimo]

82. Who Do You Think You're Fooling?

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

83. Do You Have Anything Constructive To Say? Or Just Flamebait?

Please stop attacking me Omega. It has become tiresome.


On Edit: I'm not going to respond to any further replies in this thread out of respect to Ladyhawk. She doesn't deserve to have her heart felt goodbye thread hijacked by hate.

[brokensymmetry]

39. I enjoyed your posts...I hope you come back. n/t

.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

40. As one sensitive to another

You are not alone in abandoning DU-I know of others who have stopped or who have severely limited their posts for reasons similar to yours. I wish you well, and hope you have a path with practices that will help you enhance your empathic talents while, at the same time, offer protection from the world (yes, there are paths that teach this). Please always feel welcome to PM me if you think that will help you in any way.

Peace.

[jarnocan]

43. heck i'm active in a mixed Political forum

so I'm used to insults, and I'm an ENFP I do get burnred out every so often. Rudeness is usually not very clever or cute. I consider the bright side that when idiots post nasty stuff, it really refects on them, not the one being attacked.
However, that is easier to say when your attacker is on the 'other' side. When people get nasty, who are in basic agreement with you, it is harder to handle.
Best wishes, hope you will find other avenues than chitchatting in here,. You can always keep UP on information from the front page, buzzflash,com, michealmoore.com and etc. without partaking in the sometimes silly chit-chat
Take care!

[Kolesar]

41. Baby, please don't go

You have always got a friend in the A&A forum. :loveya:

[Vidar]

42. Sorry you are going. I understand your reason.

[Chalco]

44. I don't understand the need to announce your exit. nt

[peacebaby3]

45. Hate to see you go. I've thought about it myself. It can be really hard

here if you have a loved one in the military.

I've always enjoyed your posts and hope you will come back.

[Time for change]

46. Thank you for sharing that Ladyhawk

I know how difficult it is to share one's innermost feelings publicly, and I admire you for that. I may be a HSP myself, so I think that I at least partially understand where you are coming from.

I do believe though that DU does not have to be a bad place for HSPs. I think that it's largely a matter of learning how to accept the good and ignore the bad. I think most of us feel bad when we get flamed, but sometimes we can learn to recognize that the fault is in the flamer, and not in us. Or sometimes the fault is in us, and we can learn from that too. It is hard to separate these things, of course, and one has to be ready to do that in order for it to work.

I hope that your time away from politics does you good :hi:

[Mythsaje]

48. Sorry to see you go...

But I understand your dilemma.

I may SEEM like a two-fisted opinionator :D, but more than once I've posted something that made me wince inside when I waited for replies. I KNOW there are some points of serious contention between us liberals/progressives.

I think some people get carried away. Ad hominem attacks are all too common. I'd like to say I ALWAYS attack the message rather than the messenger, but I'll admit that sometimes it's irresistable to ask, "what the hell kind of stupid shit is that?"

I will admit I'm a bit more forward in this environment than IRL...but only a little. In too many situations IRL I'm stuck dealing with either a freeper/fundy type, or someone who's perpetually clueless and, because I'm at work or in a social situation that might disintegrate badly if I actually TOLD them what I thought, I keep my mouth shut...or my comments as innocuous as possible.

And I almost never talk politics on my author lists. It's not an appropriate forum.

DU is a lot better than some of the message boards I've spent time on. Being safe from freepers (for the most part) is worth a little aggravation from our side of the fence, though sometimes it seems as though we have our own brand. I'm just saying that because I'm the anti-authoritarian type and there's a certain fraction of liberals who are just fine with telling other people what to do as long as it's not their ox that's being gored. I don't like bullies or control freaks...I don't give a rat's ass what their ideology is.

Good luck with all your future endeavors. I hope you find a comfortable niche in which to nurse your interest in politics without jeopardizing your sanity and comfort levels.

Be well...

[lukasahero]

49. Something for you: "Men too gentle to walk among wolves"

Dear Ladyhawk, I hope you read this. Your post made me think of it. It certainly makes me think of you, and those of us like you.

"This is...born in my heart, born in the pain of ending one life and beginning another, born in the excitement of the continuing search for life's meaning.

Some people do not have to search, they find their niche early in life and rest there, seemingly contented and resigned. They do not seem to ask much of life, sometimes they do not seem to take it seriously. At times I envy them, but usually I do not understand them. Seldom do the understand me.

I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand.

We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know -- unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beuatiful it can provide. Most of all we want to love and be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or to compete for love.

This is... for wanderers, dreamers and lovers, for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful. It is for those too gentle to walk among wolves."

James Kavanuagh, San Diego, 1969

I sincerely wish you peace.

[SheepyMcSheepster]

50. Take care Ladyhawk

You will be missed.

[peacefreak]

51. Blessings, Ladyhawk.

As one who is worn out by the good fight, I can understand your feelings. I come here for some solace & hope. And a laugh once in awhile. I think this forum is a reflection of the world at large. You see all kinds of people, most are kind, others not so much. Please take a break, restore some balance. And remember you do have friends here. Fare thee well. P.

[progmom]

52. just a hug here

:hug:

Sometimes things get overwhelming, and it's good to retreat.

:hug:

[JuniperLea]

53. I'll miss you, LadyHawk!

I understand. Too many people think it's necessary to bully and to flame in order to get a point across, when in reality if their point had so much merit it would stand on its own.

My best friend, who also posts here, and I had an irl conversation. I made a comment and voiced an opinion and he about jumped out of his skin asking for backup on how I formed my opinion. It was all I could do NOT to jump all over him and say, I'm not a damn internet poster and I'm not going to give you any freaking links!! It gave me pause...

[Buxtehude]

54. Thank you!

you have helped me understand some things. Take a break but stay with DU, you seem to be very much appreciated here. Listen to the people you trust, and discount the rest, but most of all be true to yourself.

[Marie26]

55. Bye Ladyhawk!

Thanks for all your insightful & thoughtful posts. :hug:

[bear425]

56. I'm sorry to see you leave because you just may have

helped me enormously! I have been struggling with my mother's behavior since my dad's death and it seems that she is a highly sensitive person, too. Your link to the writer is bookmarked so I can read more later. Maybe it will help me to get the help my mom deperately needs right now. Please, take a break and consider returning when you are feeling better. Thanks!

[Lost4words]

59. I am trully sorry to hear this.

One thing I have learned is that people have the ability to be both good and bad at the same time. There is no black and white only infinate shades of gray.

Many here are damaged in one way or another and emotions get heated and we treat each other badly.
We are living in frustrating times.

I have felt as you do many times, I either come here and get my views blasted, I've been told I hate Democrats, or other times it seems I am kicking up the dirt and slamming someone else.

I hope you get your issues to a place where its not so painful.

Know Also LadyHawk, you have friends here who care about you and wish you the best life has to offer.

Without the silence of the rest of the country * wouldnt be where he is now, so your vote was a tiny tiny factor.

FOOL ME ONCE, SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE,.....LADYHAWK YOU WERE NOT FOOLED AGAIN.

And that makes you tops to me!

8643

Jim

[lonestarnot]

60. I'm sorry and bye bye.

[Cleita]

61. Sorry to see you go. I missed your first thread.

I remember when you first came to DU right out of Republican rehab and how you asked us to help you understand what we lefties stood for.

I hope your health problems improve. Basically that is what I am always working for is that people like yourself get the health care they need and other social programs they need like every other industrial country in the world gives to their citizens.

[NashVegas]

62. Self-Help Books / Handy Diagnoses Aren't The Answer, Ladyhawke

Someday you're simply going to have to realize that being upset means just that; you're upset. It doesn't mean you're an asshole, it doesn't mean the person who is upsetting you is an asshole. It just means you're upset. You can't control their behavior to get them to stop making you upset, and you don't have to. You just have to decide how you're going to deal with being upset. If you wish to stop coming to DU that's your choice. Peace.

[Festivito]

63. Take care of yourself FIRST.

I should hope your hypersensitivity would allow you to mentally ferret past those overcompensating for their insecurities, and see them as such; and thusly dismiss their self-esteemed writings as noise. If not attempts to call for help.

If one does not take care of themself, they are of little use to themselves and lesser use to others.

If one can not take care of themself, they would need another place.

I wish you well on life's journey.

[leftofthedial]

64. goodbye, Ladyhawk. and best of luck to you.

I know I'm one of those insensitive types who make it tough on the clinically sensitive. I'm sorry for any pain I caused you. I hope you find a peaceful place to exist.

[TheGreatUnwashed]

66. Me and Plato ask that you rethink your actions.

"The punishment of wise men who fail to participate in the affairs of government is to be ruled by unwise men" - Plato

I am a fiscal conservative and social liberal. In the past I have voted for republicans, democrats, independents and greens. This is because I vote my judgment. My judgment is what brought me here. To find a community of people who pay attention and care about what is going on. I am hoping that people like you are the voices that shape debate here.

Please, take the time you need to refocus and think about coming back.

-Dan

[NMDemDist2]

69. welcome to DU TheGreatUnwashed!

:hi:

[MamaBear]

67. I'll miss your presence.

I don't start many threads, either, for the same reasons you wrote.

Be well, take care, and watch your back, okay?

MamaBear :hug:

[sinkingfeeling]

68. Bye, Ladyhawk. There are times I feel I should take a break as well.

[me b zola]

70. You will be missed, Ladyhawk

:hug:

[u4ic]

71. I hope you will rejoin us soon, Ladyhawk

I understand the health situation you're going through; I've been there.

I stay out of GD - it can be terribly vicious. Perhaps you could take a break, and then reconsider which forums/groups are supportive to you, and stay within them for a while?

Whatever you decide, please take care of yourself. :hug:

[Aristus]

72. I'm gonna miss you, Ladyhawk.

I've always enjoyed having you here. :hug:

Voting for Bush Jr. once is more than forgivable.

I voted for his dad TWICE. I'm still living that one down.

Take care, sweetie. I hope you will come back someday. :grouphug: This is from all of us here who love you.

[caty]

73. If you would like to

join some forums that are just for fun---no arguments or smart *ss replies--try some of these.
I figure some people just get up on the wrong side of the bed and need to argue with someone when I read some of those hateful posts. But, I've had days where I just was not in the mood for anything mean spirited. I have to go on news blackouts sometimes.

Scottish Forums
http://www.scottishwebcamslive.com/board...

ForumGarden.com
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums /

Able2Know
http://www.able2know.com /

[jus_the_facts]

74. I feel your pain.....

....and anguish....take care of yourself first and foremost...this place will be here when you feel like bein' here again...keep on keepin' on Ladyhawk. {{{{{{sendin' you strength}}}}}} :pals: :loveya:

[Lars39]

75. I'll miss you, Ladyhawk.

We've both come so damn far since we first met. I've withdrawn some also,trying to find some balance.
I'm going to look on the positive side and be happy that you've found your boundaries and that you're learning how to protect those boundaries.
Please feel free to pm me anytime. :hug:

[KitchenWitch]

76. Please be well, and know you will be missed!

:hug:

[Xipe Totec]

77. Great Post

I'm gonna miss reading your thoughtful and thought provoking prose.

-Xipe

[bobbolink]

79. Your important point about sensitivity, and the harsh society we

live in!

I'm so glad you posted that, and upset that it has been moved to Lounge, where it's totally ignored. Aron's book is *very* important, and if we're to move to healing, we need the understanding that her book provides.

As another sensitive person, I know the gifts it entails, but I'm damned tired of suffering the "slings and arrows" of a non-understanding society. It's clear that this is one area (among others) that "progressives" still don't get, and will ignore to their peril.

Another way of saying it, in my opinion, is that if we truly want peace, then respecting sensitivity is necessary.

I understand your need to take leave of the "slings and arrows". I'm not happy with it, but I understand it.

Given that I got to this thread at the end of it's run, I doubt you'll even see this.

Here's to sensitivity! :toast:

[Blue_Tires]

80. come back soon?

please?!?

[wildhorses]

81. take good care of yourself Ladyhawk and come back soon

:hug:

[Anarcho-Socialist]

84. Take care LadyHawk

We will miss you. :hug:

Please visit your friends here when you can. :pals: