I have an admirer. Its really sweet ...

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

but for now I only like him as a friend. We went out for coffee the other day just to talk and right now I only like him as a friend. I have told him that many times - I just hope that he does'nt think that I am leading him on because right now I am only focused on myself and learning to love myself again. He is really sweet and polite. We work at the same place - he works even though he does'nt have to. Because of his background and where is lives (in a very affluent neighborhood-so affluent that some people don't drive through there because its like youcan'ttouchthis rich) he could easily be a rude SOB , snobby , stuck up but he is far from that. The old ladies at work take care of him and cook him food. I thought it was sweet because last night he had collard greens and hamhocks for the first time and he enjoyed it. I admit,I felt a bit intimidated because of his family. But they raised him well. He is a really good guy. He told me that he could make me really happy and I just laughed (you don't know how many times I have heard that)and that I came into his life for a reason (part of me says that is heartfelt, the other part of me is thinking that I hope he is not obsessing over me). I am afraid that I might hurt the boy - sometimes people are just too sweet and thats sad because I always want a good guy and when one comes my way,I shrug it off. But I do have a reason - I don't know him well enough to have feelings like that and I told him. I just hope he does'nt get his hopes up - I am coming out of a relationship and that's why I need time to myself for a while.And I told him that too. I hope he understands that I just want to be friends now and I can't promise him anything.

(he could have those other debutantes where daddy pays for everything but he wants me the girl who still lives at home and works 40 hours a week - life is so weird sometimes.Its not about the money,its about the heart and I am a good person so it fits)

[Broken_Hero]

1. sweet n/t

[LSK]

2. I have been in his shoes

And it will be very hard for him to be just friends. He will always be trying to read into things to see if the friendship will go further. Its a very difficult spot to be in for him. Did you give him hope that there might be a chance in time? I say give him a chance only because in my situation I was not given a chance and it was really hard. He might be the one for you.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

3. You're right.

I am just afraid of hurting him.

[TexasLady]

4. aww you remind me of a man.......

i was in the middle of a separation with present H...this guy was soooo sweet. never EVER disrespected my marriage by hitting on me..only offered his ear during my hard times. he was way older, but would come over and make me coffee and talk me into getting out of bed to talk. he was my rock, and then he moved. I found out thru a friend that he loved me very much, but he knew i loved my H, so he moved because he felt so much for me, and knew it would never be returned.... do they MAKE men like that anymore?

Ive since reconciled with my H, but wow, what a considerate and sweet man he was....

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

10. Yes they still make men like that ...

But the more I get to know him the more I like him.

[Haole Girl]

5. Good luck!

If he's a nice guy, takes care of you, and you enjoy each others company, then please give him a chance!

Do watch for signs of obsessing, by the way, because (and this is just from my own experiences) a phrase such as the one you described might mean he is moving a little quickly (the " I came into his life for a reason .." phrase).

I sure hope everything works out well for both of you!

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

7. He is as sarcastic as I am. And he has put me in my place many times LOL

I was actually in shock LOL. He put me in my place because I have this sassy attitude and he put me in my place one night LOL.

[Kire]

19. How did he put you in your place?

If you don't mind me asking.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

23. Well like I said I have a sassy attitude lol.

And I somewhat stupidly expected him to take it. He brought some cases down to my floor that were waiting on and he brought the wrong ones lol. It was like last minute rush hour. I told him jokingly "don't do that again, and I don't care if you tell your boys because I am not scared of them" (I was joking and he knew it) and I did'nt expect him to say " we are not scared of you either" LOL - I did'nt expect him of all people to say that because he was so quiet and he comes out of his shell. Basically just like me he voices his opinion no matter what.

[Dude_CalmDown]

6. When you're ready, give the guy a chance

If he can give you the space you need until you're ready then he could just be a good guy. Watch for the obsessing thing but he could just be dumb enough to think it's OK to say what you feel.

[khashka]

8. Sounds good....

As long as he understands you aren't ready yet and need some time.....

But he sounds great... and all the best relationships are grounded in friendship. And if it developes into something else over time - great! And if all you have with each other is friendship - great!

Lovers are easy to come by, friends are much more difficult to find....

But given your post... be honest... you are halfway smitten already :)

Khash.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

9. I won't admit it lol

He is really sweet and polite - and I don't really come around those kinds of guys. He told me I was beautiful many times.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

11. Collards are good!

Hamhocks are putrid!

I don't eat meat though.

Actually, I like shredded raw collards that are sprinkled with kelp gomasio and some Bragg's and then pressed. It's really good.

[corporatemedia]

12. Sound to me like he's giving you a crock....

and you're a crock teaser.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

13. :)

:hug: thanks

[corporatemedia]

14. I hope you know I was just kiddin with a play on words. My real sentiment.

is GOOD LUCK.

In all things.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

15. i know what you meant...

you were saying that i was teasing him and I am not. Have a great night either way.

[corporatemedia]

16. NO, as I said, I was just kiddin...

how could I possibly make a judgement like that? I don't know you, I don't know him, I don't know the situation.

What I meant was what I said - "Good Luck"

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

17. I know LOL I gotcha :)

its alright really it is , I was just messing ;)

[corporatemedia]

18. Groovy. n/t

[IdaBriggs]

20. He's got your interest. Be honest with him -- let him take you on a date.

A real one, where he gets to kiss you goodnight. If there aren't any sparks, then call it a friendship. But give the guy a chance to see if he can set some off first! :)

[Deja Q]

21. Be careful. Or if nothing else let him know NOW.

Being led on, regardless of how accidental, hurts like hell.

Especially if he is... like me.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

22. I know it feels to be led on.

It has happened to me many times and each time the pain is worse. Which is why I was clear with him straight up since the first meeting.

[NNadir]

24. Persistance pays.

I had that "just friends" conversation lots of times with my wife.

I told her I accepted how she felt about that, and didn't want to make trouble, but I was in love with her anyway.

Eventually she came around. We've been together more than two decades now.

Reading between lines, I'm not sure there isn't a part of you that might come around too.

He sounds like a good guy actually.