Jehovah's Witnesses paid me a visit this morning.

[Akoto]

I didn't actually speak to them, because I was still in bed, but their presence certainly sent my dog barking like crazy. I pulled myself out of bed in time to see a man and a little boy walking away. They'd left a little pamphlet on my doorstep.

The cover has this lovely image of a couple seated in a flowery meadow, baskets of apples and pumpkins in front of them, and a roaming herd of mooses behind. What a nice picture, I thought, until I read the headline:

"All Suffering SOON TO END!"

No, I didn't add the caps for emphasis. Uh-oh. I opened the charming little pamphlet to find such creative tidbits of prophetic wisdom:

"At some time in your life, you have likely asked, 'Why all the suffering?' For thousands of years, the human family has suffered greatly from wars, poverty, disasters, crime, injustice, sickness, and death. The past hundred years have seen more suffering than ever before. Will all of this ever end? The comforting answer is yes, and very soon!

After God removes the wickedness and suffering, the earth will be transformed into a paradise. Then people will be able to live forever in perfect health and happiness. In that new world, even dead ones will be brought back to life to share in those blessings."

(Speaking about Adam and Eve) "Sadly, our first parents felt that they could be independent of God and still be successful. But when they pulled away from God's rulership, he no longer sustained them in perfection. So they began to degenerate until finally they got old and died. Consistent with the laws of genetics, we have inherited that imperfection and death."

"Why did God not destroy Adam and Eve and start over with another human pair? Because God's universal sovereignty, that is, his right to rule, has been challenge. The question was, Who has the right to rule, and whose rule is right? By extension, Could humans do better if not ruled by God? In allowing them enough time to experiment with total freedom, God would establish once and for all whether they are better off under his rule or their own."

"All the evidence shows that we are nearing the end of man's tragic experiment in independence from God. It has been clearly demonstrated that rulership by humans apart from God can never succeed. Only God's rulership can bring peace, happiness, perfect health, and everlasting life. So Jehovah's toleration of wickedness and suffering is nearing its end. Soon God will intervene in human affairs by destroying this entire unsatisfactory system of things."

So, they want me to love and worship a God they've told me used us as an experiment, and allowed billions to suffer for thousands of years before ultimately destroying them. I'm all for religious freedom, but this doesn't sound like me.

Why do these people follow me from house to house? :crazy:

[undeterred]

1. Its called "The Great Commission"

My great commission is collecting signatures for a nominating petition today.

[Schema Thing]

2. You're wrong, and you're right

Witnesses would not recognize that term, unless they are quite old.

I have a vague idea of why you use that term, and I think I could find the term in our (I'm an ex-Jehovahs Witness) early 1900's literature, but having grown up as one (I'm 43), it was not part of our modern lexicon.

I'm not even sure why not. I think it's because the Witness leaders of the past were almost obsessive about being no part of "Babylon the Great" (and they consider all other religions, christian or otherwise, Babylon the Great), that they would sometimes make doctrine, and change word usage, in a way that looks completely arbitrary (cf, using the term "kingdom hall" instead of "church").

[undeterred]

4. I'm not ex JH just ex-fundy

and I was taught that Jesus "Great Commission" was to go out and spread the gospel all over the world. It was probably taught to me by someone who went to Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. Constant missionary focus.

[Schema Thing]

6. yes, and they have the attitude in spades

they just don't use the term "great commission", and I really do think it's just-to-be-different.

[Blue-Jay]

3. I've found that they go away if you drop your pants.

:D

[Schema Thing]

5. Want to hear something really embarrasing?

That coulda been me 6 years ago. It's embarassing to think that it took me 36 years of life before I could get to a point where I would give honest consideration to the simple logic you noticed in your last paragraph:

So, they want me to love and worship a God they've told me used us as an experiment, and allowed billions to suffer for thousands of years before ultimately destroying them. I'm all for religious freedom, but this doesn't sound like me.



But then again, they indoctrinated me from the cradle.

[skygazer]

7. I'm always amazed by people who think they know exactly what god wants

Or how his/her/its mind works. That right there seems pretty amazingly arrogant to me and just the sort of thing people are smited for. It's like the whole belief that people were created in god's image - how incredibly egotistical is that!? I imagine, if there is a god, he/she/it gets a big kick out of all these people who are so sure they know it all.

[Radical Activist]

8. Sure, we'll all get pie in the sky

after the second coming. Jesus didn't tell us to sit on our asses and wait for someone else to make the world a better place.

[Schema Thing]

10. LOL, don't make that mistake!

Jehovah's Witnesses aren't claiming that YOU (the average joe-good-guy) will get pie in the sky at all.

What Jehovah's Witnesses claim, precisely, is this: if you will come to believe in and obey the leadership of the Jehovah's Witnesses (the Governing Body), then you will be spared at Armageddon when Jehovah slaughters every other person who refused to believe in and obey the Jehovah's Witness leadership.

And I'm not being overly-dramatic either. The part about believing in and obeying the JW leadership really is KEY to you surviving.

Their "pie in the sky" is a promise that you will then be able to live forever, on a paradise earth. I know, it's embarrassing.


So yeah, they promise you can see your dead loved ones again, provided two things A) Armageddon doesn't kill YOU first (cuz if armageddon gets ya, there's no coming back), and b) You accept their faith and believe essentially everything they believe before armageddon comes.

[giant_robot]

9. What great news!

I can't wait for my grandfather to come back so we can feast on pumpkin and moose!