Must kill family...

[LeftyMom]

So my Dad came to me a minute ago and asked me take a look at his phone because the microphone wasn't working. I looked through the menus and made sure he hadn't turned it off by accident and noticed that the phone felt really just slimy greasy, so I was taking it apart and cleaning it with qtips. After a few minutes of that I asked Dad what the hell he'd got on his phone.

Bacon grease, he tells me.

Gee, you'd think a sane human being would have mentioned that before letting me get that shit all over my hands. :puke: So I put the thing back together and went to wash my hands. Dad actually laughed at me- "What, you don't like having dead animal on your hands?" Well, no fucking shit, your vegan daughter doesn't want to touch the congealed fat of tortured animals. Great job having figured out that little secret. I know what I'm getting you for father's day. :eyes:

[Deja Q]

1. I'd copycat this thread, but they locked something similar once before.

:rofl:

[Benfea]

2. Buwahahahahaha!

Sorry to laugh, but it was a funny story!

[LeftyMom]

3. I'm still trying to figure out what he did to coat his phone inside and

and out in pig fat. :wtf:

God, what I'd give for a normal family.

[smokey nj]

4. LeftyMom, no such animal exists.........

there are only varying degrees of abnormal. My dad made a bathroom wall out of duck tape.

[LeftyMom]

6. I'd settle for somebody who, after coating thier phone in bacon grease,

didn't yell at the phone for breaking.

I can't wait until he figures out that the warranty definitely doesn't cover encounters with hot liquified animal fat. :eyes:

[Benfea]

11. [PEDANTIC] duct tape, not duck tape.

Sorry, couldn't resist. It was invented for taping up ducts, not ducks. ;)

[billyskank]

12. I heard there is a brand of duct tape called "Duck Tape"

Good idea if true. I can imagine so many spouses/friends asked to go get "duct tape" from the store and see "Duck Tape," and think, oh that must be the stuff. :)

[jmowreader]

5. Dropped it in the frying pan, is what it sounds like

That would get the insides greasy too.

[Beware the Beast Man]

7. Maybe it was, um....to mess with you?

:shrug:

If so, he did a hell of a job.

[LeftyMom]

8. Nah, he's cheap

Can't really see him breaking a phone he just bought to mess with me. (Especially since it's his business phone.)

He leaves messes in the kitchen for that. :grr:

[Benfea]

10. That's nothin'

I once repaired a laptop whose entire motherboard was corroded by BBQ sauce. The user of said laptop of course insisted that he had no idea how that much BBQ sauce managed to get inside his laptop.

[Sanity Claws]

9. Revenge can be sweet

At a family gathering at Christmas or Thanksgiving, you can tell everyone how your father got bacon on his phone. That might embarrass him, at least a little.

[billyskank]

13. Eeeeeeeew barfarama

:puke: