My mother KILLED me when I made a fuss in public!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

Absolutely KILLED me (not literally, of course, so shut it, you jokesters! :P :P)!

So there! All you people who won't control your kids are lazy ignoramuses! And you people who complain about renegade children need to slap them silly--who cares if you aren't the parental unit?

:crazy::crazy:

:P

[Misunderestimator]

1. Yeah, and my father beat me... doesn't make that the right solution.

Some kids are easy to "control" and others are not. Some parents let their children run rampant and think that's ok... others try like hell to do the right thing, and the child is not controllable. It's impossible to tell from the child what the parent is like. Look to the parent, and blame the parent if it's obvious they aren't trying. But to blanketly accuse all parents of uncontrollable children that they are doing something wrong... is wrong.

Yeah, slap them silly... right... that's the ticket. :eyes:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

4. I sure as hell hope you don't think I was serious.

Seems like you do, though.

:shrug:

[Misunderestimator]

7. I don't think you were serious... but...

you just seem a little bit cavalier. I like you... I know you're a good person.

Maybe having a child in my life now makes me more sensitive to this. At your age, I suppose I was as perturbed by uncontrolled children too. And the slapping bit... though I know you were joking... just doesn't come across as funny to me.

On edit... perhaps my reaction to this thread was also a reaction to this post of yours I had read just minutes before: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=5261235&mesg_id=5261352

[WritingIsMyReligion]

9. Oh, okay.

I didn't see this as all that serious at first glance....My mind might be a little fried, though.

;)

[Wetzelbill]

34. Shhhhhh.....WritingIsMyReligion

:crazy:

Be good now! :evilgrin:

[Misunderestimator]

41. Um...

our conversation was amicably over already... I wonder why you chose to respond that way.

[IsIt1984Yet]

2. What?

"And you people who complain about renegade children need to slap them silly--who cares if you aren't the parental unit"

Surely you are not suggesting that people "slap children silly".... are you?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

6. See reply #4.

Apparently the :crazy: smiley doesn't make my sarcasm/satire as obvious as I thought it might. Hunh. It USUALLY gets my point across just fine.

:shrug:

[IsIt1984Yet]

8. Yeah, the slapping silly part just isn't funny. Emoticons or not. Sorry.

:shrug:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

10. Apparently my funny-factor is broken.

Either that or my common sense went out the window.

I think it's the latter.

:crazy: <-------------Non-sardonic usage

[IsIt1984Yet]

12. It's all good.

But, like stated above; being a parent of a child who, like many, has his "difficult moments", I am a bit sensitive to the judgemental eyes of others when we have a "moment".

The idea of judging my entire being as a parent (lazy ignoramuses) based on a few fleeting rough moments is sad... and the suggestion that others should strike my child is shocking. Even in jest. Sorry.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

15. I have not had the mother instinct break out yet.

(To which I admittedly say "Thank all"--apparently I'm just crude and rude.)

I'm rather crass with regards to this. Whoops.

:blush:

[slide to the left]

20. I have repremanded children

in public for being a problem. Thos for sure were not my kida

[IsIt1984Yet]

22. Didja slap 'em silly?

:shrug:

[AlCzervik]

3. my mom was a single parent, she was tiny but my sister and i knew

if we misbehaved she would open up a giant can of whoop ass on us. My Mom was about 5'2 and 90 pounds but she waitressed for years, she lifted very heavy trays so her arms while small were all muscle.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

5. My mom is 5'4", but she's scary as all-get-out when she's mad.

:scared:

[tigereye]

11. well

you are still under 18, and since you're one of the few young people around here, you're entitled to you r opinion and a bit of levity. ;)

but shouldn't you be studying or something? or are you done for the year?

[WritingIsMyReligion]

16. My three remaining exams are world studies, Latin, and band.

I'm acing Latin, though I still need to study up some for it, I could recite my world studies in my sleep, and band is band--a written theory exam on Wednesday, which, again, I could do in my sleep.

So I'm goofing off a bit. I'll study in a while, but right now...

:silly:

:D

[progmom]

33. levity is cool, and I adore WIMR

But joking about slapping kids gets my ire up. :shrug:

[tigereye]

39. well, sometimes humor can be a path to discussion

and then to questions. After questions can come understanding and perhaps healing for some folks.

I guess I think we shouldn't always close the door since we don't always know what is behind it. :)

[progmom]

42. oh - totally

But it seemed like your post to her was dismissing some of the resulting discussion, and that's where I disagreed with you.

All good though - I think we've established previously that we share a lot of similar opinions about parenting. :)

[tigereye]

48. no, I just think that kids see things very differently than

we do as parents, and at different ages. And some of them see their parents' ire, so to speak, with more humor than we do, as parents who are so protective toward our own kids.

In my work, I have seen a lot of horrors, but sometimes humor is necessary to effect changes in attitudes and that is what my comment was reflecting. Even though I as a parent and a professional, am strongly opposed to physical punishment.

[khashka]

13. So what are we supposed to do?

Be supportive? Agree with your Mom and smack you? Or go around and hit other people's children?


I need directions, WIMR......


LOL.

Khash.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

17. Just slap everyone.

:P :P :P

:crazy:

[khashka]

21. If I did that

I'd never stop. And I do have other business to take care of.....


Khash.

[Deep13]

14. I agree, in principle anyway.

Maybe not "slapping silly" but I know what you mean. The reason some children are hard to control is because there are no limits and no structure in their lives. Even still, "hard to control"?? They're children, we're adults. The parents are in charge, not the children. You have to be willing to put up with the inevitable tantrum and stick with your verdict of no television for a month or write an essay on why acting up hurt's your mother etc.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

18. Y'all are taking this very seriously, especially for the Lounge.

:crazy:

:D

[progmom]

32. are you a parent?

[Deep13]

49. I'm always apparent.

What difference does that make? I live in this society and know that many parents don't want to reign in their brats. It is either the kids get the crap abused out of them or there are no limits. I suppose I shouldn't have a right to vote on school levies either. Frankly, not being in the thick of it might give me some objectivity that a lot of parents lack.

I was a child once and know I could not get away with most of what I see. My folks did not tolerate disruptive behavior any time so it was not a special problem on the rare occasion we went out as a group.

[progmom]

51. I certainly didn't mean to imply that you had no right to an opinion.

It just seemed that your opinion was very black and white. Since becoming a parent myself 4 years ago, I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of grey areas.

fwiw - there are a lot of child-rearing options that don't include either of the scenarios you mention: "It is either the kids get the crap abused out of them or there are no limits." I'm sorry that's the way you see it. :(

[Deep13]

56. "I'm sorry that's the way you see it. "

Um, wow. That's the way I see it happening, not the way I think it ought to be. My point was to bemoan the lack of non-abusive parental assertiveness.

[progmom]

57. oh that's what I meant

I meant that I am sorry that's been your experience. That's an ugly thing to witness. That sucks. :hug:

There is a middle ground, but they probably don't stand out as much as the exceptions at either end of the spectrum.

[Wetzelbill]

19. hell I deserved more than I ever got

I was baaaaaaaaaaad!!!!

Then one day when I was about 10 or so, I was crawling on some stuff in our shop that I was warned not to do because I could fall and get hurt and I stopped and thought: "Man, I am bad, maybe I should just be good from now on." And, I was pretty good from that point on. Well, not toooo good, but still.... :)

[bertha katzenengel]

23. Dang, Writing... helluva way to learn what flamebait is, eh?

:popcorn:

;)

[WritingIsMyReligion]

24. Yeah, especially in the Lounge.

"Lounge flamebait" is usually oxymoronic.

:popcorn:

[bertha katzenengel]

25. Heh. Not when you bring up spanking, or even smacking a child to make it

behave. A very tender issue.

:hi:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

26. Apparently.

Never even occurred to me that it would be "tender."

:D

[bertha katzenengel]

28. You've had a lot of feedback here. Wanna know my take?

???

[WritingIsMyReligion]

29. Sure. (nt)

[bertha katzenengel]

36. Okay:

A child depends on a parent for everything, but most especially for love.

The loving, dependable parent HITS the child.

What's wrong with this picture?

I believe that if it involves spanking, face-slapping, even one swat with a belt, let alone any other form of striking a child or causing it any pain, is not discipline.

A rational adult should be able to come up with other ways of disciplining his/her child. The word "adult" implies some acquired age and maybe a little wisdom and hopefully enough smarts to overcome whatever impulse causes one to hit a child.

What's more, terrorizing a child is just as bad. "Okay, I'm leaving. If you don't want to come that's fine," and then walking out of a store. Great parenting there.

Yeah, people get frazzled and harried and stressed to the breaking point by their kids. But god dammit, they should take control of themselves and not hit their children. Find some other way to deal with bad behavior.

That's me.

[raccoon]

47. Agree, the vast majority of the time spanking/slapping is about

the PARENT'S anger more than it's about what the child did/didn't do.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. ...and CPS (child protective services) knocked on our door for the

very same thing.

too bad we can't "kill" boorish adults who far outnumber children. :hi:

[Scout]

30. too bad we can't "kill" boorish adults before they reproduce n/t

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. Many of them don't. and I'd still hang out with my kids over them n/t.

[politicat]

35. I take it you got better.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

I know the feeling, though. My parents refused to let us run around or be noisy in public. They'd take us outside or leave. We got the picture pretty quick.

[smtpgirl]

37. If I put on a meltdown

I just got left.

[mduffy31]

38. When the Fuck did the Lounge become GD?

I am getting sick and tired of not being able to say things in jest without the PC police descending upon you right away. Lighten up people, WIMR is not seriously advocating beating kids in public it was a FUCKING JOKE!

[Misunderestimator]

43. It's all about context... and the lounge has always been this way.

Just because it's the lounge doesn't mean everyone has carte blanche to say whatever they like without any repercussion.

[progmom]

44. exactly. and i think this thread has resulted in

...some pretty good discussion. but what do i know? :shrug:

[Misunderestimator]

45. Apparently good discussion shouldn't be expected in the lounge?

:shrug:

[Wetzelbill]

52. yeah and WIMR

is a young kid, she's like 14 or something, she's just trying to have fun and crack some jokes. Teenagers aren't as caught up in being PC, and even besides that, it's obvious she was kidding. Sure, it's a touchy topic, and even if you don't find it funny, the OP wasn't meaning any harm, there is no sense causing a fight over it. Nobody truly believes beating kids in public is a good thing. You know people come to the Lounge to loosen up, have fun and relax, sometimes it's not all that fun of an atmosphere. Now that is not to say that some people don't deserve getting taken to task, I know I have never been perfect and made some mistakes, but sometimes we all need to take a step back, avoid a fight and try to have some fun.

[progmom]

53. Bill

Where do you see people flipping out?

[Wetzelbill]

55. poor choice of words

I edited some of that out. :)

[progmom]

58. thanks

:thumbsup:

[Misunderestimator]

59. Do you not see the value in the discussion being had here?

It seems strange to me that you would ridicule "adults over 40" who have had experiences of being abused, slapped, beaten as children, simply talking about it here, in this context. (Yes, you edited it out, but not before I read it.) WIMR absolutely rocks and shows a hell of a lot of maturity and insight for someone her age, and I have a lot of respect for her. I respond to her as I would to anyone joking about slapping a child, I treat her as an adult, because she has the capacity to understand. And there's been no flipping out here at all.

[mdmc]

40. My mother only beat me once

I was about ten, and she took me grocery shopping. She told me that I could get some candy if I didn't get lost.
I wondered away and got lost.
I had to get an employee to page my mother.
My mother told me that I couldn't have the candy.
I was pissed. I waited until we were on the checkout line, then started screaming, "This lady isn't my mother! Help! I've been kidnapped and she beats me!" I made a fuckin scene.

Even after my mom gave in and got me the candy, I would not shut up. My mom had to leave all her groceries then and there and take me home. I was screaming the entire time.

As soon as we got out of the grocery store, she beat the shit out of me. I remember looking at all the people inside the store and thinking, "This didn't go very well." She had never hit me before, and she never hit me since.

I didn't go grocery shopping much after that.

[LoZoccolo]

46. All you need to do is yell at other peoples' kids though.

They always freak out when it's not their parents. :woohoo:

[Deep13]

50. No they don't.

They say "You are not my Dad" and then tell you to fuck off.

[hedgehog]

54. I don't know how I did it, but I taught 5 of 6 kids to behave in stores

The 6th child had to be reminded occasionally not to touch things unless she was going to buy them. The others learned from babyhood not to touch. I think the key is I treated all of them with respect and expected them to treat others with respect also.

By the way, I took 1 daughter and her sixth grade "friends" to the mall one time. I say "friends" because as soon as we dropped one girl off back home at the trailer park, the others proceeded to trash her thoroughly. My daughter didn't know what to say and was very upset. Guess which kid (besides my own) was perfectly behaved in the stores? Guess which kids had to be told to stop playing with all the merchandise?