I need to write a will

[Courtesy Flush]

My mom is dying, so the subject of wills has come up a lot lately. I know I need one, so don't repeat that advice. Here's my delimma:

I really hate it that people spend a lifetime building an estate, only to have their heirs piss it away as soon as they inherit it. A lifetime of work means nothing to somebody who gets their hands on some easy cash.

We have no kids, and intend to leave our estate to our godchildren. Problem is, two of our godchildren seem like the piss-it-away types. I hate to leave them out of my will, but I hate to see the money wasted. One of my godchildren has Downs Syndrome, and I'd like to make sure he's cared for. Not that it's my responsibility. His parents are planning for his future, but I know any money left to him will likely be monitored and spent on his needs. The others will go on a spending spree before we're half cold.

Have any of you faced this? How have you handled this issue in your will?

If we died today, each godchild would receive about 100k.

Thanks for your input.

[mikeytherat]

1. I'm only in my 30s, but I've had one for some time

My wife and I have wills and living wills/medical directives. You never know when...

mikey_the_rat

[eyesroll]

2. Trust funds.

They're not just for children who can't manage their own affairs -- you can set it up so they can't access some or all of the $ without a responsible person's OK (and that responsible person can be a relative or a pro) until they're a certain age (which can be 25, 50, whatever) and stipulate that the OK be given for things like medical care, the purchase of a house, tuition, etc., and not a flashy car or expensive vacation.

For the child with special needs, please do talk to an attorney who specializes in estates or disability/health care law so you can ensure the money does indeed go for his care.

[radwriter0555]

3. Establish a trust for the children. You can construct it so that the kids

get money at specific stages and for specific things such as college, with incentives.. If they stay in college full time, they get a certain allowance for housing. If they graduate college, they get money for a down payment on a house. You can say they can have x dollars for summer vacations to travel the world, and if they get a summer job, you'll match their income for the summer as a downpayment for a car, etc.

You CAN give money with strings attached.

You could also establish a trust for a local day care that could fund a needy mom who wants to go to college... perhaps give that hard earned money of yours to some people that could really, really use an angel.

You need to see a paralegal who does wills and trusts... A paralegal is a lot cheaper than a lawyer.

[mzteris]

4. can you stipulate

certain "restrictions" in your state?

You don't mention how old they are. Can you make it contingent on their reaching an older age (say 30?)

Can you put the bulk in trust and just let them have the interest once a quarter/year?

Can you restrict it as to what they "spend it on?" Their children's college education? A house?

Just some ideas.....


Those kids are lucky to have you guys as god parents.

[meegbear]

5. You may want to consider getting a lawyer on this ...

while writing one's one will is becoming more common, I think that if you're having issues with how your estate is to be handled, you should consider one.

[Beer Snob-50]

6. you can spell out what each one gets and how

i have mine spelled out that if my whole family goes belly up at the same time my money goes to four of my nephews and neices and the rest goes to various charities. for the four kids, it goes toward college unless they hit the age of 21 and then they can do whatever. but it is spelt out.

[kay1864]

7. Honestly, you don't need a lawyer for this

Get a program like Quicken Willmaker. It's quite versatile; you can stipulate who gets what, how much, etc. Legal in every state but Louisiana (goofy state law). Why pay a lawyer $200-300, when you can do it yourself for $40?

[Courtesy Flush]

10. LOL! Guess where *I* live!

[kay1864]

13. You're kidding. Dang.

Yep, it's been that way for at least 18 years (I bought a very early version of Willmaker in 1988). And La. is the only one not covered (not sure why).

Sorry about that!

[Courtesy Flush]

15. La law is based on the Napoleanic Code

Louisiana laws in general are much different than all other states. I've heard that you can't study law in other states and expect to be qualified to practice here.

As for wills, Louisiana has forced heirship. You cannot disown a child. I don't have kids, so that doesn't apply to me.

In Texas (where Mom lives) you can disown a child as long as you say so in the will. Simply omitting them won't do it. You have to mention their name. Also you can add a statement that any heir who contests the will forfeits his inheritance altogether. I like that. If you wanted your estate distributed differently, you would have said so in the will.

[kay1864]

17. Heh...

I've heard that you can't study law in other states and expect to be qualified to practice here.

But sometimes you can just fake your way through the Louisiana bar exam, like the guy in Catch Me If You Can http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Abagnale#Legal_Industry_jobs

(true story, BTW)

[eleny]

8. Perhaps you can designate that a trust purchase an annuity

If you set up the trust, you can direct the person who manages the trust to purchase an annuity for each recipient. Then the annuity could pay out a sum each month for so many years. If you do get a lawyer, be sure to find a lawyer who specializes in Elder Law. They'll know about the options for this.

[ScreamingMeemie]

9. You can add a codicil, as the others have stated...but I look at it

this way, I'm going to be dead... so it won't matter how they spend it. If you are really not wanting that to happen leave it all in trust for your Down Syndrome godchild and bequeath a smaller amount to the other two. Good luck. MrG and I are still arguing on who will receive guardianship over our children. Of course, I know the whole family is dying for the honor. :eyes:

:hi:

[MissMillie]

11. You could leave me some... I won't piss it away!

I promise!

[Courtesy Flush]

16. I'll keep that in mind

But I can't promise anything until I speak with my attorney :)

[LynneSin]

12. You're under no obligation to give your godkids the money

Hell adopt a cat and leave it all for the cat.

If these kids are irresponsible with money then set it up so the money is protected

[Courtesy Flush]

14. Ya But

I think of the dynamics of heirs (heiro-dymanics?). My brother, for instance, is a lifelong criminal, dopehead, deadbeat dad, and other stuff I'd probably not want to know about. When we divide Mom's estate, his share will quickly evaporate. There's no doubt about that. But if Mom were to leave him out of the will, I'd never be able to sleep at night knowing there's a criminal out there who feels that I have cheated him out of what's rightly his (I know that's how he'd feel). He'd come looking for his pound of flesh.

Thankfully, our godkids are higher caliber than that. But I'd hate to have the responsible ones feel pressure from any who feel they should have gotten a bigger piece of the pie.

They're not bad kids. I don't want to leave them out. I just think maybe I need to take precautions.