If Jesus returned today He would...

[Fenris]

[LynneSin]

1. Great poll - so many to choose from

But I believe he would be on the front line of the Anti-War movement and would probably get arrested. Rumor has it he was arrested back the first time around and that ended up as Capital Punishment!!!

[AndyP]

2. Other

He'a arrive, take a look at what's going on, turn his ass around and go back to heaven.

[Fenris]

4. Sounds like the Son of Man has a problem with authority!

He wouldn't last two minutes in this country!

[Character Assassin]

3. Want to drive my pimpin '74 Buick Riviera, and accept no substitutes

He better have some gas money, though.

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. be a stubby, hairy jewish guy who nobody would recognize

because everyone's waiting for the blonde-haired, blue-eyed surfer guy to show up.

[Westegg]

6. ...never stop throwing up.

To quote Woody Allen in "Hannah and Her Sisters."

And I agree.

[Robb]

7. Adopt the DU username "Robb"...

...and spend much time in self-effacement convincing people he was a Dingbat, thereby pointing out the folly of their own ego.

And he'd make up really silly polls....

[THUNDER HANDS]

8. all hail our lord and savior - Dingbat

:D

[1monster]

9. He'll either say

I'll leave where man has been
Or tear it down and start again...
(Zagara and Evans IN THE YEAR 2525)

[TEXASYANKEE]

10. Puke!

As Max von Sydow said in "Hannah and her Sisters" -- "If Jesus were alive today, he'd never stop throwing up."

[AntiCoup2K4]

11. Verily I say unto you...

...that if the Son of Man hath set foot into these troubled times, He would overturn the sets at CBN studios in Virginia Beach, then would He travel unto the GOP convention and smite the Pharisees who blaspheme His name with their works of iniquity.

[ldoolin]

12. Other

Throw the moneychangers (RethugliKKKans) out of the temple (White House).

[MrSlayer]

13. Killed by his own alleged followers

It's funny, I've said this a million times. If Christ came back today all those bible belt idiots would kill him for being black, a hippy and a communist. They would never listen to someone who says "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" it doesn't fit their philosophy of minding everyone else's business and trying to tell people how to live. There is no one more frightening to me than a religious nut.

[CanuckAmok]

14. Hmm...what did Matt Johnston say...?

"..If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today,
He'd be gunned down cold by the CIA..."

[guitar man]

15. Today's scribes and pharisees

Would have him offed just like they did 2000 years ago. He would be too much of a threat to their financial interests.

[Deja Q]

16. Nice painting of the big J, but... (not for the timid)

Jesus in this pic looks like a girl with a beard on...

:shrug:

[ProudGerman]

17. If Jesus returned today?

I think this about sums it up.





Just kidding, lol.

[LiviaOlivia]

18. If HE had an extra minute or two...

I wish he'd clear the DU Lounge temple of political threads and return
it to its' vain, silly and non-political ideal.

[BringEmOn]

19. Guantanamo

A long haired Middle Eastern man dressed lika a hippy, talking about peace and loving your neighbor, feeding the poor, healing the sick? The media would ignore him or marginalize him. Bush and the other right wing nuts wouldn't recognize Him...he'd have a dog cage reserved in Gitmo.

[Blade]

20. He wouldn't wanna come back here...

this planet has gone to hell.

[grannylib]

21. He would be in the faces of Falwell, Robertson, Reed, et all,

saying, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you of the wrath that was to come?"
The members of the "Christian Right" are the pharisees of the 21st century...into moralism vs morality, and self-righteousness...