I "hurt" my body mowing, trying to figure a reaction I had,...

[Just Me]

,...to my son's "first kill" with his compound bow. Actually, he seriously maimed a squirrel. Then, stoning it from the branches it was caught in, ended its suffering. But,...

Although my initial reaction was, "WOW! You're really mastering that bow," my following feelings were aweful. I heard the animal scream in pain. My heart sunk and I suddenly felt so sick, I could barely make it to the toilet to empty.

He immediately called his buddy to show off his "prize". I just wanted to be absent because I was crying (and was caught with those tears rolling down my cheeks and said, 'just ignore me because I am weird about these things). When they left, I grabbed the lawnmower and mowed until my legs were like noodles, my back scratched up bowing under trees, my legs scratched from thorny bushes and my hands raw (though not blistered).

I feel like maybe I am "f-upped" for having such a reaction. Yet, the reaction was completely normal for, "Just Me". I don't feel like I have a grasp on what is "normal" anymore, and wonder,...well, I just wonder where I fit in this world I know I belong. Am I really so different? I dunno'.

[Catchawave]

1. I'm so sorry....for the squirrel

:cry:

[Haole Girl]

2. I don't think there is anything wrong with being

sick to one's stomach over seeing an animal slowly killed...personally.

[Kajsa]

3. Not only were your reactions "normal",

they show you are compassionate about our fellow creatures
that share this planet with us.

That's something to be proud of.

Maybe you can suggest to your son that he practices on non-living things,
such as target boards.

He will learn a very valuable, life long lesson from you.

I know- I've done this with my son, who's now 22 and really looks out for
animals.

[Just Me]

4. Well, he "thought" he was doing a "good" thing, I guess, because,....

,...this particular squirrel was invading a very special, multi-level "bird commune" we put up together for all incredibly variety of birds, here.

We'd even added a steel (slickly) coating to the pole up to the birds' commune to prevent this guy from taking over.

My son, he was quite proud not only of conquering the squirrel, but to do it with his compound bow is a seriously difficult feat.

Nevertheless,....well, I suck at hiding my thoughts/feelings about unnecessary suffering and death,...and he saw that (even while I was trying to compliment his advancement in markmanship or whathefuckever it's called). There is no joy in killing an "inconvenience",...UGH!!!

He's apologized so many times, assured me he and his friend buried the creature (well, especially knowing our dogs would, well, ICK).

But, it was obvious they intitially thought I was being, silly, reacting in such a way. Most people I know would think similarly.

:shrug:

It's behind us, already, I guess. This experience is small shit compared to the cruelties human beings are facing. I just, I almost want to BE NUMB at will over such things because,...my feelings are not strengthening. Know what I mean?

[Catchawave]

5. But don't we judge our society.....

...by how we treat the animals?

Sorry, you can start with your son. Squirrels attacking birdfeeders don't deserve slow, painful deaths...put up a squirrel feeder fer chrissakes!

[Just Me]

6. Okay. I'll add that as priority to my list of projects and make him,...

,...participate. We did an AWESOME livelihood for the birds (in case you missed THAT)!!!

But, FUCK, this particular situation pales to the way our country treats human beings!!!!!

How's about we start with putting up feeders for people RATHER THAN INDISCRIMINATELY SPEWING FUCKING SHELLS AND BOMBS!!!!

Shit! We can't even treat eachother with dignity, justice or respect. Don't you lecture me,...

Okay. NO LECTURES!

Agreed?

For the first time in three years, I actually ran over a rabbit running across the road. Wanna' wrestle over THAT?

*stewing*

[Dangerously Amused]

10. I get sick anytime I see one entity take joy in killing/injuring another.

Whether it's a president and an "insurgent," or a kid and an animal.


The principle is the same.

[Metta]

7. forgiveness and healing.

You'll need to do the former in order to bring on the latter. You already know that. If you want to take care of this on a metaphysical level for yourself and for the squirrel, do this. See yourself in an egg of gentle purple flame. Let that soak in awhile while you breathe normally. Then, holding that, see the squirrel in an egg of gentle, golden flame. Hold that awhile, breathing normally. Then, after the energy has settled down, send the squirrel into the light with your best wishes for it's highest good and ask the diety of your choice to make sure it happens. Your intention will get it done even if you think you're getting no results.

Be well and go well.

[Just Me]

8. No offense, but, the squirrel feels no pain, now. Neither do I.

That's enough. My son's witnessed my full expression. That's enough, too.

As for deity's and intentions and all that, I'm square with being a piece of sand in this universe, albeit an expressive piece of sand. *LOL*

The only "light" I know is the one that carries me, my spirit/will. When that "light" dies, I will die, too.

[riderinthestorm]

9. How old is your son?

You may have a long time to endure trying to mask your feelings if he's fairly young and really determined to master hunting with a bow. You're going to have to decide your priorities: can you praise his hobby/skill? If he's going to persist you are going to have to come to grips with the results which WILL be less than perfect as he gets the hang of it (and even IF he becomes an expert there will be more than a few animals that are injured first before they are tracked down and killed).

Or are you always going to be terribly pained? Your sensitive son obviously recognizes your pain.

I think that is what you need to work out with him/you.

Good luck.

:hug:

[Redstone]

11. Did he eat the squirrel? If so, it's OK that he killed it. If not, well,

there's a problem. Killing for the fun of it is wrong.

Redstone