What do you want/expect from a waiter/ess?

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

I've had arguments with my family over this, and my dad, brother and I all agree. When we go to a resturaunt, we don't care if the waiter/ess is talkative or particularly friendly (it's cool if they're smiling though. Also in many cases, the less talking they do, the better). We feel their job is to get my oder, bring my drink, makes sure it's filled, and bring my food. When the food gets here, we don't really care if they know which orders go to who. So, what do you like/ hate about waiters?

[tigereye]

1. I like when they talk to you - I leave those folks bigger tips...

When I was a waitress, I always talked to people if they wanted to talk, or just served them if they didn't -depends on the customer.

I just hate being called "guys" or "you guys."

[Deja Q]

3. Same here. Bigger tip for the conversationalists.

It may be just work to them, but it's nice to feel wanted. :)

[driver8]

11. I hate being called "guys" or "you guys", too.

I am a guy, but my wife isn't. What's up with that? I know that they are trying to be friendly, but how about a little respect?

[Nicole]

38. I hate that too

Fortunately I live in Oklahoma where we say "y'all" instead "you guys". It's one size fits all.

[seemunkee]

42. My wife and I complimented a waiter on not calling us "guys"

He told us he was in early education at school and was taught not to address a room of kids as guys so that the girls would always feel included. We gave him a good tip.

[newcriminal]

2. Depends on what restaurant I'm at.

If I'm at perkins or olive garden something like that, I agree with you. If I'm at my favorite and expensive restaurants(the Muir House, or The River Rock Inn) I expect them to know the menu and what is in the dish. My husband hates seafood, so they should know if there is any in the dish, my daughter is vegetarian so I expect them to know if the soup is made with a vegetable broth or chicken.I like them to recommend dishes to me. So, I do expect a lot of them if I am paying a lot.

[NewJeffCT]

4. If it's an attractive waitress...

I don't mind if she is chatty. Otherwise, as long as they are pleasant and efficient, that's fine with me.

But, if I'm at a restaurant with my 3 year old daughter & they make an effort to be nice to her, then I'm happy.

[Xipe Totec]

5. Competence

I just want them to honor their job title. They are wait staff; they should wait on patrons, not the other way around.

I have been to restaurants in Mexico where the waiter apologized because I had to raise my eyes from the table to get his attention, before he noticed that my water glass was empty. When the service comes up to that standard, I have no trouble dropping a 25% to 35% tip.

Here, most of the time I only leave the customary 15% gratuity.

Granted, I grew up in another country, and have different expectations.

[GOPisEvil]

6. Be friendly, be knowledgeable, be in the area, but unobtrusive.

How's that?

[Rabrrrrrr]

8. And they shouldn't constantly ram their golf cart into the table.

God, that pisses me off with waitstaff. Especially with those older style gas carts.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

10. Lol? Have I missed something, or is it just before my time?

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Competence, an air of hospitality, and a willingness to rub my toes.

Okay, not the toe thing, but if I found one that was willing, that's the restaurant I'd live at.

I want them competent: I don't want them asking me again what I ordered; I want them to remove my plates when I am done, not before and not too long afterward; I want my water glass kept full and I don't want them to ask me every goddamn time they walk over "You want some more water?". "Yes, I do want some goddamn water, and stop asking because you are CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTING OUR CONVERSATION."

In fact, I don't want them to ask "Do you want" at all. I want them to say "Would you like?" or "Let me get ____".

I want them to read my mood - if I'm alone, I might be amenable to talk to them. If I'm reading, they should know to shut the hell up. If I'm with others, the waitstaff should know to shut the hell up.

I also want them to know what the hell is in the food and how it's made - that is, they should know the menu. I don't want any "ums" or "uhs" or "hems" when they speak.

And while I don't want them to constantly interrupt, I don't want to be abandoned - they should be constantly around, but barely perceptible to me and never fuck up the flow of conversation unless they're explaining how to eat the next course or that the kitchen is one fire, please, sir, could you evacuate out the front door now, thank you.

And mostly, I want them to be pleasant - if they're pleasant, nice, and act like I'm not an inconvenience, I will forgive failure on a great many of the above things and will be far more patient with them.

Obviously, my expectations are different between a Perkins and a mom and pop diner and a fine restaurant, but that's basically it.

Oh, and if it's waitstaff at a bar, I expect that they remove the used glasses. When I met with some of our wonderful Twin City DUers at the hotel a few weeks ago, the waitress never took any of our spent glasses off the tables. What the fuck?! It looked like shit after the second round.

[Kathryn STone]

19. I would be willing to bet my inheritance that you've never waited tables.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Gosh, that was witty. So you think what I expect is impossible, then?

Well, I don't know where you waited tables - and here I am assuming that you did, so if you didn't, forgive me - but the majority of times I've eaten out, I've had service of that caliber, or damn close to it.

Perhaps instead of a smarmy bon mot that has no meaning, you could actually say something of value and perhaps help the dialogue?

And no, I've never waited tables professionally, but I worked for a few years on the front line of a cafeteria (but upscale one) restaurant (Bishop's Buffet, which actually wasn't a buffet at all, it was a glorifed and quite good cafeteria style place, except with waitstaff, so I'm not sure why they called it that). I also spent years working retail, and held myself to the same standards of customer care and attention.

I'm curious why you would suggest that my expectations are unrealistic, since they are so clearly and commonly attained and attainable.

[Susang]

27. Unsympathetic

Maybe lacking in compassion and understanding for the difficult job that these people have to do. Not necessarily unrealistic. That would be hard to gauge, not knowing the establishment.

And before you mention that you worked in retail again, I'll let you know that I happen to currently work in retail (as does my husband) and have for the past three years. I also have 19 cumulative years of bar & restaurant work under my belt. The service industry is hard. Soul crushing. Much harder than retail.

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. Unsympathetic? Where and how was I unsympathetic?

How is expecting a certain level of service - which level I only rarely don't get - "unsympathetic"?

I know waitstaff work damned hard - and not for a lot of money, either. That's why, if they're at least pleasant and kind to me, that I can forgive vast amounts of "failures".

Sometimes I don't understand people's thinking at all.

[crispini]

47. Right on!

That is EXACTLY what I expect.

And most of the time, that's what I get.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. Pleasant but not intrusive. What I don't like is

when you're carrying on a conversation with your friends and the waitperson walks right up and interrupts your conversation, chirping something like "How's everything tasting?" They seem to do this especially whenever you are deeply engrossed in conversation or, if you're by yourself, when your mouth is full.

At the top-end restaurants the waitpersons manage to take your order, bring your food, refill your water glass, etc., at exactly the right moment, seemingly by telepathy. I don't especially want to be chatted up when I go out to eat. But I'm a big tipper even if the waitperson is too pesty and chirpy because it's a damn tough job and they are probably doing that because management makes them -- kind of like the Jennifer Anniston character in "Office Space."

[driver8]

12. The most amazing waitress that I ever had was in Buffalo, NY.

I was with a group of friends (eleven of us) and we went to this pub/restaurant after a Bills' game for some beers and food.

The waitress arrives to take our food orders and she is going around the table taking the orders. They had quite a menu, and only a couple of people ordered the same thing. This waitress did not write down one single thing, and some of the people had substitutions for sides, etc.

When she came with the food, everything was correct and she knew who ordered what. To say that I was impressed is an understatement.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. Showing up is a big deal...

Then keeping our glasses full, popping up every so often to make sure we're happy. Tonight we left a 2 dollar tip. We are usually over tippers, but the only thing our server did was take an order and drop our food. Someone else filled our glasses, got us extra chips, and made sure we were ok and prebussed. Our server brought our dinner then disappeared. Holy crap, you know how On the Border makes their own tortillas? Well, he brought us tortillas from a bag and they were stale and tough. And it was nearly 10 more minutes before I found someone to bring me some real ones. It was just a bad night. Don't go to the NW Expressway On the Border. It sucks too. :evilfrown:
Duckie

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

14. Thats sucks. We don't have any Tex-Mex restaraunts near us anymore,

but the On the Border near Columbus Ohio is pretty good.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

17. The other one here in OKC is awesome.

I think the other one just has management issues. It happens. I still LOVE LOVE LOVE the place and food, though.
Duckie

[Susang]

29. Since your server probably tips those people out

You most likely stiffed the people who filled your glasses, got your chips and bussed your table by leaving a $2 tip. It's a dirty secret of the business that a great many of the employees basically pay each other out of their tips. It keeps the restaurant's payroll down. The last restaurant I worked at, we tipped out over 50% of our earnings.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

51. I know how they tip out at OTB...

They don't pool. They only tip out the bar and the bus boy...not the other servers.
Duckie

[Fox Mulder]

15. I don't want him/her talking to me.

I want my glasses kept full.
I want him/her to ask if everything is okay once in a while.

That's all.

[LSK]

16. i never really cared or thought about it

I always wind up with my meal so who cares. I always tip nicely regardless of service because its someone trying to earn a living just like me.

[LeftyMom]

18. If you don't know what the ingredients are, check with the kitchen

instead of BSing. If I order something without an ingredient, I have a damn good reason so kindly that to the chef and make sure the order is correct before you bring it to me.

All other things I'll forgive, but those things I can't. I'm not in the habit of paying for food I can't eat.

[grace0418]

22. I always have to make a point of saying "It's not that I

dislike ____, I am actually allergic to it and it's important this ingredient is not in my meal." Then the waitperson understands and pays attention.

There's nothing wrong with saying "I'm not sure, but I'd be happy to check." I don't know why waitstaff feels the need to bullshit.

[Mutley]

20. I've been a server.

Having felt their pain, I think I cut them more slack than most people do.

[grace0418]

24. I worked many years in the service/retail industry and I

am forever understanding of what people must endure in jobs like this. Today I am an EXCELLENT tipper, I never walk into a shop less than 15 minutes before they close (unless it's truly something that will take 2 minutes or less), I never go somewhere at their busiest time and expect undivided attention, and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. That said, I know when I'm being treated poorly and I'm not afraid to speak up when it happens.

[HEyHEY]

21. If they touch me, I give no tip

I don't like this assumption laying their hands on me will somehow get them money. As if I'm some stupid pervo with a bunch of money to throw around.

[Monk06]

23. French trained three star waiter/restaurenteur. Spoke only when..

asked a question. Silent as a ghost otherwise.
Your wine glass filled itself as if by magic
when he walked by.

[Susang]

26. Oh no, here we go again....

Yet another thread where anyone who's ever eaten in a restaurant waxes poetic on what it means to be a waiter/waitress. If only the service industry workers of this world could go to offices and tell all the white collar workers exactly how to do their job. Making their salary contingent on how they perform for their new overlords, of course.

Of course, smart business people realize that how you treat a waiter says a lot more about you than you realize. It pays to watch that boorish behavior to the server, someone may be watching (and judging):
http://www.usatoday.com/money/companies/management/2006-04-14-ceos-waiter-rule_x.htm

[HEyHEY]

30. Hey, your pills

[Susang]

32. Which ones?

I've got a bunch. :D

on edit: And look who's talking! :P

[HEyHEY]

33. haha

[Susang]

34. heehee

[HEyHEY]

35. Ho, ho, ho

[Susang]

37. You wish

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. As a hairstylist ( a group known for getting woefully undertipped)

I salute you.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

48. How DO you go about tipping hairstylists? We usually leave $5

but having no one in that line of work, I don't know what they usually get or expect :shrug:

[grace0418]

46. I've always judged people on the way they treat service professionals,

children and animals. It says volumes.

[leftofthedial]

28. hot sex

later

[amitten]

31. Yes. Hot sex.

Or at least hot food.

[leftofthedial]

36. if there's hot sex

I don't really give a hoot about the food



Well, I went home with the waitress
The way I always do
How was I to know
She was with the Russians, too

[tibbir]

39. I enjoy talking with servers if they have a personality

and the if they handle all the basics fine (basically the stuff you mention) plus have a pleasant personality I enjoy leaving a larger tip.

[tjwmason]

40. I want food service.

Nothing more, nothing less.

If I wanted to have a conversation I'd hire an escort. Pretty much all of the time that I'm in a restaurant it's with friends. This notion that one should talk with everybody is vexatious in the extreme - I don't know people, I can't really have a genuine interaction with them. I'm polite, of course I'm polite, people who aren't polite should be publicly flogged (no I'm not joking there), but politeness is a very different thing from erzatz-pseudo-friendship.

Apart from that, I just want them to take my order and bring it to the table within a reasonable time. In more upscale restaurants I'd expect some knowledge of the food itself, and if there's no sommelier a basic idea about the wine-list too.

[Book Lover]

44. Give me my food, then please leave me be

I don't like the social setup of restaurants in any case; I hate being put in a position where I have to give a further unspecified amount of money to someone who holds it in their best interest to suck up to me without seeming to. And if I piss her off, then it's the Visine in the soup trick... There must be a better way of feeding those who don't want to cook.

[1gobluedem]

45. I'm pretty easy to suit

I just don't like it when the server says "no problem" after I order something that's on the menu. I wouldn't expect a menu item to be a problem....

I haven't worked in the industry but know people who have so I tip well.

[Kathryn STone]

49. Great Topic. One of the funniest times I had with a waiter was in San Fran

at a super swanky French restaurant. It was a multi-level with the bar on the 1st floor, tables on 2nd etc. At the time I was just trying like mad to quit smoking so I left my date to go to "powder" room. I saw the waiters at the bar having a puff. So.....I went up to our waiter and did the "please please" can I have one? so my date? like 10 minutes !!! LOL he's later looking for me (hilarious) I'm having a smoke with our waiter. my point? you just never never know. This guy saved my bacon. LOL

[ThomCat]

50. When I say that I have a food alergy

Don't assume that it's not in my dish. Check. Don't say, "well, it's only a little bit." Don't poison me.

I can be flexible about the quality of service, but there are some things I refuse to eat and other things I cannot eat. Get my order right.

[khashka]

52. Do their job competently and be polite

I don't mind if they are talkative, in fact I kinda like it...shows they see you as a person rather than "just a customer".

Same thing I expect of almost everybody....

Khash.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

53. I want them to get my order right and bring it in a reasonable time, as

well as keeping my water glass filled.

It bugs me when they hover and ask, "Is everything all right?" every five minutes.

[benny05]

54. My complaint is the host or hostess' Seatings

Why is it that when we are one of the first couples to arrive, especially in a chain place, we get seated in the damn back near the damn noisy kitchen? We have no kids, and we arrive early to avoid crowds. I don't care if it has to do with scheduling of wait people. They are generally young, sponky, and can easily carry food around. Host or Hostess should always seat the first customers in the nicer, open sections and the kitchen area should be the last for those who came later. And it seems like those of us who wear less cool glasses and may look less hip, and our case, early middle aged folks; 19 year olds and their 22 year old managers should learn this workflow better.

:spank:

[DawgHouse]

55. I expect them to be friendly and competent.

I want them to chit chat and be friendly but not too intrusive.

[AngryAmish]

56. Abject obsequiousness

Boy i like using big words when I have spell check...

[Rabrrrrrr]

57. With a soupçon of sycophantism?

[RagingInMiami]

58. If you're having arguments with your family about the role of the waitress

Then you guys (and gals) need to get out more.