Can love be rekindled?

[Guava Jelly]

Just a question that keeps bobbing up in my mind.
If curiosity and boredom can be overpowered by stability and love even if the love is stronger on one side than the other?
I mean you can never go back but if back sucks than why go there.
I guess I am curious if breathing on the embers can reignite the flame..or am i most likely out of fuel.

[miss_american_pie]

1. I can't even keep track of your metaphors

:hug:

[Guava Jelly]

8. Niether can I

:)

[Neoma]

2. Dunno.

[Deja Q]

3. For some, can it be kindled at all?

[Elidor]

4. Of course it can be rekindled

All that's necessary is that both people care enough to try. The tricky part is avoiding the dysfunctions that have led to where things are. It takes a lot of thought and commitment.

[Guava Jelly]

7. thank you for that well phrased answer.

:)

[Xipe Totec]

5. Vain Hope

Sometimes, to solace my sad heart, I say,
Though late it be, though lily-time be past,
Though all the summer skies be overcast,
Haply I will go down to her, some day,
And cast my rests of life before her feet,
That she may have her will of me, being so sweet
And none gainsay!

So might she look on me with pitying eyes,
And lay calm hands of healing on my head:
“Because of thy long pains be comforted;
For I, even I, am Love: sad soul, arise!”
So, for her graciousness, I might at last
Gaze on the very face of Love, and hold Him fast
In no disguise.

Haply, I said, she will take pity on me,
Though late I come, long after lily-time
With burden of waste days and drifted rhyme;
Her kind, calm eyes, down drooping maidenly,
Shall change, grow soft: there yet is time, meseems,
I said, for solace; though I know these things are dreams
And may not be!

- Ernest Dowson

[bridgit]

6. past the pain & suffering of existential death? eh, maybe...

who can say, just don't pick at the scab x(

[NNadir]

9. I have no idea, and never want to find out.

To find out, I'd have to lose the person I love, and I don't ever want to lose her.

[Guava Jelly]

10. You are one smart cookie

you understand fully!! I hope doubt and pain never ever enter your relationship..:)

[Guava Jelly]

11. selfish kick

:kick:

[WindRavenX]

12. god, I hope so

My love is on pause :(

[sendero]

13. There's nothing cold as ashes..

...after the fire is gone. :)

[Just Me]

14. Well, it depends upon what love is to you.

Also, it depends upon what love is to the person you desire.

If "back" sucks,...where's the love?

Personally, I consider "Love" a RECIPROCAL commitment to being comforting and supportive,...a haven from a damned, tough world, accepting there will be times when the weight will shift depending upon life's challenges imposed upon each person.

But, hey, I'm 43 and a single Mom. So,...you know.

[Guava Jelly]

15. thats kinda the catch 22

I can give all the love i can muster..But I can't really invoke the same feelings back..
either it's there or it isn't

[Just Me]

16. That's not called a "catch 22",....

,...it's not even, Love, really. You can't do "Love" by yourself, can you? I can show Love to lotsa' people just 'cause, I want to do that, with no expectations. But, maybe, I misunderstood you. I thought you were talking about a long-term relationship where mutual commitment is required.

Did I misunderstand you?

[Guava Jelly]

18. No you understood me.

our 18 years living in sin anniversary is june 17th.
And sad to say i am not the only star in her sky

[Just Me]

19. ouch

;(

:hug:

You can't MAKE her take you as her only star, though.

I'm sorry. ;(

I'm not a good adviser on these matters, having been betrayed one too many times.

But, I am confident that "Love" is a mutual matter and commitment. Otherwise, it's just painful, to me.

[Guava Jelly]

20. I guess my ego is just a little shattered

I would settle for the brightest.

[swag]

17. No

[RetroLounge]

21. I voted yes

because I am an optimist and a romantic...

RL

[Iniquitous Bunny]

22. If it's about yourself,

speaking as someone who has been there, done that in many ways (except ultimately, rekindling was not meant to be in my case), get off the computer and find out. Go to counseling. Talk. Make love (and if you're not, figure out why not?). Why are you willing to do? What is your partner willing to do? Can you forgive one another? Can you be honest? People here are just people. You know your relationship better than anyone.

If this doesn't apply to you and is all hypothetical, then forgive me (maybe what I said helped someone else). I do think love can be re-kindled. It takes A LOT of work by two people who are both very willing to do it though.

[Guava Jelly]

23. We are going to counseling

I just wonder if it in the end is going to make a difference
I am sure everyone here is getting tired of hearing my relationship problems..But I need to vent sometimes

[Iniquitous Bunny]

27. It's ok.

:hug:

I was there once. One way or another, things will change. Just don't do nothing. Doing nothing, well, results in nothing. Sometimes things get harder before they get easier (either in staying and working things out or in leaving the realtionship). Good luck to you.

[tibbir]

24. It happened to me so I vote yes.

[tjwmason]

25. Sometimes.

Sorry to be unclear - but the problem with love is that it involves humans, and we're totally unreliable creatures.

Sometimes when things die out it is permanent and any effort spent trying to rekindle them is (sorry to be blunt) a pointless waste of time, and likely to make things worse in the long-run. Sometimes they just run-cold for a while, ready to burst back into flame with just a little bit of help.

Sounds like you've got a rough patch around at the moment - I'm afraid all that I can say is that you're obviously a great guy, and you have my very best wishes for finding the right conclusion to the rough-patch. :hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

26. MrG and I say yes...

We dated for a year and went our separate ways. We lived separate lives, never even catching a glimpse of one another for 3 years. When we ran into each other again...instant fire.

Sometimes it's worth it, but I think it's a case by case kind of thing.

[billyskank]

28. Well, yes, of course. Not always, but sometimes.

[kiraboo]

29. I think yes, if all the conditions are right.

We don't always recognize what we have until we've been on our own for a while.

[Bassic]

30. Yes, but only if you've spent enough time appart. nt

[NewWaveChick1981]

31. First of all, let me say...

...I'm sorry about what you're going through, GoPsUx! :hug: It's not easy. :hug: :hug:

I can only speak from my own experience, but if love dies down to barely-discernible embers, it can be rekindled, but it takes a hell of a lot of work. You have to be the one to decide if you want to put that effort into it. Actually, you both have to decide if the effort is worth it. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. Of course, that doesn't mean it won't hurt if you let go---it hurts very badly. :( But you'll live and you'll move on with your life eventually. If it works out, so much the better! :D

I hope for your sake that things work out. :hug: