Don't go to John Ashcroft's dressed like a Calico cat on Halloween

[BuelahWitch]

Or this could happen to YOU!

[Bozita]

1. Ashcroft fears calico cats.

He somehow "gets" messages that the fuzzy critters are the devil or something.

The Secret Service works with Ashcroft's hallucinations by searching out any calico cats in all areas to be visited by their boss.

That's on the taxpayers' tab, mind you.

Taxes to cover official insanity.

[wtmusic]

3. No way

Is this for real? Sources?

[Bozita]

4. Google "Ashcroft calico" and here's what you get...

1,230 references. Here's page one:



http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=Ashcroft+calico&btnG=Google+Search


Urban Legends Reference Pages: Critter Country (Spot the Devil)
Does Attorney General John Ashcroft believe calico cats are a sign
of the devil? Spot the Devil. Click here Claim: Attorney General ...
66.165.133.65/critters/gnus/calico.htm - 12k - Cached - Similar pages

Turns Out It's Not the Black Cats You Have to Watch Our For
... People should be free to believe in the devil, to fear calico cats, and to endure,
for themselves, unimaginable pain. But for John Ashcroft to tell me that I ...
www.andrewtobias.com/bkoldcolumns/011120.html - 101k - Cached - Similar pages

Guardian Unlimited | Special reports | Staff cry poetic injustice ...
... According to the Tobias article, advance teams for an Ashcroft visit to the US embassy
in the Hague asked anxiously if there were tabby cats (or calico cats as ...
www.guardian.co.uk/bush/story/0,7369,661458,00.html - 35k - Cached - Similar pages

Radio Left - We ARE the Anti-Rush. Now in our third year of ...
... Ashcroft: Calico Cats are Signs of the Devil Posted on Monday 03 December
@ 00:00:59 | Send this story to a friend | Printable Version ...
www.radioleft.com/article.php?sid=29 - 23k - Cached - Similar pages


Radio Left - We ARE the Anti-Rush. Now in our third year of ...
Radio Left Ashcroft: Calico Cats are Signs of the Devil By Anonymous
- Date: 2001-12-03 00:00:59. from AndrewTobias.com By Andrew ...
www.radioleft.com/article.php?op=Print&sid=29 - 8k - Cached - Similar pages
< More results from www.radioleft.com >

Calico Cats Admit Fear of Attorney General, by Gil Christner - ...
A new poll of calico cats across the country reveals that a great majority
of them are deathly afraid of Attorney General John Ashcroft. ...
www.democraticunderground.com/articles/ 02/04/p/02_calico.html - 9k - Cached - Similar pages

Calico Cats For Inquisitor AshKKKroft
... Ashcroft and Calico Cats http://www.andrewtobias.com/newcolumns/011120.html "Shortly
after becoming Attorney General, John Ashcroft was headed abroad. ...
falloutshelternews.com/CalicoCats.html - 8k - Cached - Similar pages

Way.Nu: Bombsticker du Jour - John Ashcroft is bugfuck crazy
... name? I'm thinking pretty damn high considering the top search terms
bringing people to way.nu is "John Ashcroft"+calico. Gonna ...
way.nu/archives/000015.html - 31k - Cached - Similar pages

Pucho: Ashcroft finds a Calico kitten
"Pucho". Ashcroft finds a calico kitten in the bowels of the Homeland
Security archipelago. by Bryan Zepp Jamieson 06/11/02 http://www ...
www.zeppscommentaries.com/VRWC/pucho.htm - 11k - Cached - Similar pages

John calico Ashcroft
; ; ; ; ; yes there's more...
www.mind.net/basile/NationalID5.html - 2k - Cached - Similar pages

[wtmusic]

7. It all goes back to the Andrew Tobias article

but damn, he's no flake and after reading about Ashcroft smearing cooking oil on his head and belting out his own patriotic songs in meetings, it must be true!

What is this with music and politics, anyway? Don't politicians know this should not happen? How 'bout a duet with Orrin Hatch and they both kiss at the end? I don't feel well...

[Rhiannon12866]

12. This one was an excellent counter-article

From none other than DU!!! LOL!!!

Calico Cats Admit Fear of Attorney General
April 2, 2002
By Gil Christner

A new poll of calico cats across the country reveals that a great majority of them are deathly afraid of Attorney General John Ashcroft, many of them stating that he is, in fact, a sign of the Devil.

A poll conducted by CNN/Time/Cat Fancy Magazine show that over 52% of the calico cats questioned feel very afraid of the Attorney General, and 36% are somewhat afraid. In addition, cats of other varieties and colors also admit to a high "disliking or feeling of avoidance towards" Mr. Ashcroft.

"Most calicos, while not necessarily religious by nature, just feel a tremendous fear when confronted with the idea of John Ashcroft," said Kitty Kelly, author of Pussy Galore to Socks: The History of Felines in Political Intrigue. Miss Kelly, who is not related to, but often confused with the unofficial biographer of Nancy Reagan, insists that while very few cats even believe in the Devil, the image of the Attorney General unrestrained by the Constitution or other laws of the land is enough to send most felines into a Pentecostal delirium.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/02/04/p/02_calico.html

[devilgrrl]

2. John Ashcroft hates my cat!

Sick 'im Missy cat!!!

[Melsky]

5. He's insane!

Does anyone else think that if a democrat had similar nutty beliefs it would be a big, huge deal, lots of press and mocking, etc. I honestly think bush and ashcroft have serious mental problems.

[DieboldMustDie]

8. He also has himself annointed with cooking oil...

when being sworn into office. It seems to have something to do with King David in the Bible.

[DieboldMustDie]

6. Calico Cats Admit Fear of Attorney General

...reported right here on DU a while back ;)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/articles/02/04/p/02_calico.html

[inthecorneroverhere]

9. This must be a truly e-e-e-vil calico cat

[Best_man23]

10. I'm allergic to cats, but

Would consider adopting a calico to ensure my home stays Asscroft free.

As to this thread, somehow I don't think Asscroft celebrates Halloween.

[Bozita]

11. If you do, use an area shelter.

for the best choices.

Take a look.

[newyawker99]

13. Congrats classicfilmfan!! 100 posts

A :toast: for your first miletone!!