This is how I screwed everything up

[DesEtoiles]

We moved to a different City - I quit a job that I didn't like, but it paid really well. Now, I have another job I don't really like and it pays less than half as well. My husband is constantly bitching that I don't make enough money. I have this job so I can work fewer hours to spend time with my young child. If I become fully employed, I'll go back to spending <20 hours a week with her and we will have to get a nanny. Plus, even now I can barely find time to work out - and I really have neglected myself for a long time and need to get in shape. With that other job there will be no chance of that. It will be only work and taking care of my daughter, and no time for anything else. We bought a house that is too expensive, which contributes to the husband's bitching. I think we either need to sell the house and buy one much less expensive, or I need to try to get another job. I'm just so sick of the constant bitching. Where we used to live we had an architect friend who could have built our dream house for us - now there's no chance of that.

[crispini]

1. Why did you move?

Just wondering....

[DesEtoiles]

4. a lot of reasons and no reason

we moved from a big city to a smaller one, a bluer one, a cleaner one

Now I'm having a hard time getting my daughter back into private school

[crispini]

8. Well, good luck.

Yes, downsize the house if you can. I think it's important to buy less house and less stuff so you feel that you can comfortably carry your mortgage. I was really dying for a spendy house when I bought but I went for one that was $50k less so I could feel better about how much my payment was.

You HAVE to find something that makes you feel centered and good, working out or something, vitamins, healthy food. Otherwise you will be no good to your family.

It sounds like you really need to have a heart to heart with the hubby. If you can't get yourselves on the same "team" to work out these problems then that's not good.

[SeattleGirl]

2. How did you screw everything up?

Who decided to move? And why is it all up to you (at least, that's how I'm reading your post)? Sounds to me like you are getting piled on my hubby.

[Maddy McCall]

3. I see so many young couples do this.

We bought a house that is too expensive, which contributes to the husband's bitching.

It's so sad to me. Maybe you should sell the house and find one you can afford on the income you have now.

:hug:

[Floogeldy]

5. www.daveramsey.com

Yea, he's got a little christian bullshit thrown into the mix. But the financial/debt advice is superior. :)

[DesEtoiles]

7. thanks

[pitohui]

6. i'm sorry it sounds so familiar

a friend of mine went thru this, she learned there is no such thing as quitting a stressful high paid job and thinking you are going to reduce stress, if anything the low paid situation is much more stressful

my friend was fortunate and was able to get the old job back but at considerable expense since she had moved across several states to take the low stress teaching job, imagine that, she thought teaching was going to be easy and free up time to be with her kid

it sounds like you are being pressured by your husband, why doesn't he get off his tail and make more money for a change, in my friend's case, not only is she providing all the money and child care but her husband is openly cheating on her and everyone knows abt it except her, and i guess she actually knows it too, it's really tragic


it takes two to tango, your husband has some nerve to bitch when you have to carry the baby for 9 months and earn the money!

[DesEtoiles]

9. yes - earning less money than you know you can make is stressful

I feel like I just can't win

[pitohui]

10. don't be so hard on yourself

you had an ideal and you tried to live up to it, that's more than a lot of people ever do

unfortunately this society worships the dollar bill, and if you earn less, you have less options, less options means more stress

and w. a pushy spouse pressuring you, that is v. stressful