Let's talk about the PROM!

[Texasgal]

I was informed this past weekend that my niece is trying to raise an additional $1500.00 dollars to her already $2000.00 for her prom!

Exasperated I asked my brother why the hell a 17 year old girl needs 3500.00 for a frickin' PROM??

He told me that this is what Proms cost now days, the dress, the hair, the shoes, jewlry... dinner... LIMOS!!!??? :wtf:

When did this "prom culture" happen where it's okay for kids to spend this kind of money on a PROM??

Anyone?

[Midlodemocrat]

1. That is a shit load of money.

My daughter is going to the prom, and I don't anticipate spending more than $150 on her dress, hair, jewelry, etc.

I will give her some money towards the dinner, and the boy has bought the ticket.

I donated $500 to the post prom party. I figure I did my part.

[Texasgal]

3. It is a shitload of money...

I was SHOCKED!!!

I never had a LIMO drive mr to the Prom! My Mom even made my dress!

My Brother tells me that this how it is now days...?

[Jokerman]

If this is "how it is now days" it's because of your brother

and other overly indulgent parents who can't seem to say no.

[DrGonzoLives]

2. They aren't that expensive anymore

The problem is that the people selling this shit, much like the scum that inhabit the wedding and funeral industry, do all they can to convince people, especially girls, that they just HAVE to have that $2000 dress or prom night is just going to be HORRIBLE.

It would help if parents weren't so damn indulgent, but oh well. I did both of my proms on about $250 each, with my dates not spending more than $200 on the dress.

[Midlodemocrat]

6. I consider myself pretty indulgent, but there is NO way I would

spend that kind of money on a prom. Her dress for Homecoming was $49. Last year's was $69.

I had to spend $1000 for show choir for her to go to NYC and compete. I told her that there was a finite supply of money and she had to choose.

When I taught high school in CT, some of the girls had dresses that were $500. Back in the mid -80's. Hell, my wedding gown only cost $495.

[DrGonzoLives]

22. Wait until senior year

They come at the kids with "memory books" and class rings and loads of other crap that no one really needs, but they convince the students that they just HAVE to have them, and since schools don't get money any other way, take the money that the peddlers offer to let them in.

[Midlodemocrat]

43. Oh, believe me, I know. We already purchased her ring

:eyes: because they have a Junior Ring Ceremony.

I didn't even get a high school ring. My parents told me that you only got a ring for college. We didn't have 'ceremonies' to celebrate jewelry.

[frankly_fedup2]

When my son was graduating from high school in 1998, it was at least

$1000.00 to pay for everything he needed (including renting tux for prom, flowers, prom pictures, graduation pictures, extra hat string, more than one pose of graduation pictures, class ring, invitations, stickers of high school engraved on invitations, and other things I'm sure I have forgotten).

Anyway, I remember talking to my husband when all this stuff was coming at us left and right. I was amazed! However, I remember asking my husband what did the lower-income kids do? What about kids whose parents work but are still under the poverty level and cannot afford this for their kids. Are they just left out (like they probably have been throughout their school years due to not being born to wealthy parents?)

Same thing when my son was young and they had a book fair. There were a lot of people that donated money for the poorer kids who could not get books. At least that way, almost all of the children could get at least one book.

It's a big ripoff; however, it's hard to believe a prom costing $3500.00. If my son had come to me and told me his prom was going to cost me that, I would have sat down with him and went over a list of what we needed and what was being splurged. Like I stated before or after this post, sounds like the niece in this scenario might be taking advantage of "daddy" who looks at her as "daddy's little girl grows up."

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

4. I was under the impression proms were much more low key these days

:shrug:

[Texasgal]

7. Apparently not...

The kids have to have 300.00 shoes and hair done at expensive salons... then there is dinner at some 5 star resturant! JEEEZ!!!!

I am in a state of utter amazement!

[WCGreen]

That's texas for ya.....

Ye Ha........

[Texasgal]

15. While I can acknowledge that Texans are

sometimes known for their decadence, I don't think this is just purely a regional thing.

[DrGonzoLives]

40. It isn't

It's mostly a class thing - upper-income high schools see a lot of this. No one did it at mine, we did things the old fashioned way - flip burgers for eight months to save money for prom, then go to someone's house whose parents are gone and get ripped.

[WCGreen]

64. Just kiddin'....

But ya gotta admit, Texans tend to do things a little bit bigger than the rest of the country...

Just a bit.....

[Taverner]

93. Whaaa? Texans known for their decadence?

Say it ain't so!

[miss_american_pie]

5. I had all of that

and we didn't spend nearly that much. Granted that was 11 years ago, but sheesh.

[lizziegrace]

8. My wedding cost less than that

Wow. :eyes:

[AirmensMom]

12. Ha -- mine did, too.

I made my dress for $20.00, made all the food and cake, and grew the flowers. My friends played their violins and violas. My parents paid $200.00 for the photographer and that was the biggest expense we had. Well, that was 30 years ago. But one of my daughters did better -- she eloped. The other one had a small cruise ship wedding, which was surprisingly affordable ... and I think the whole thing was less than $3,000, including the cruise we sent them on. Guess we're just "cheap". :shrug:

[lizziegrace]

17. Mine was 22 years ago.

The photographer was the biggest expense and my dress next at $400. I guess it wasn't too bad though. The marriage lasted almost 18 years. :shrug:

Proms though? Not likely they'll even remember the guy's name in 20 years.

[AirmensMom]

20. I've seen people mortgage their homes for a wedding.

There's no way I would do that.

You're right -- all my kids' memories of the prom seemed to vanish with the graduation ceremony. :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

53. My wedding dress? 19.95. Justice of the Peace...no party.

Leonard wore the suit he already had. Altogether, I'd say our wedding was around $100. And we're just as married (if not more)as Donald Trump is. ;)

[AirmensMom]

78. That's what our one daughter did.

I can remember sitting at our reception, exhausted, wondering why we had spent all that time and effort. It was over with SO fast! But at least it was cheap. :D

The wedding doesn't make the marriage. I've seen them break up after the couple spent tens of thousands on the wedding.

[Catchawave]

9. My daughter boycotted her prom, wait.....

not sure if boycott is what I meant. She rounded up all the "dateless" seniors, they shopped at the local children's hospital thrift store for "formal wear", then rented rusty old cabs to deliver them to the ....get this...Pat Robertson's 5 star restaurant/ballroom at CBN, where this "public" high school's Senior Prom was held :silly:

Have never been so proud :loveya: They had a blast too. Also, the photos of these cabs wedged between white limo's...priceless. Total cost: 27.00, including cab fare and "formal wear".

[LSK]

10. damn thats a lot

But I bet there are thousands of parents who will spend that much. We are teaching our kids to be consumers more and more these days.

[AirmensMom]

39. You are exactly right, LSK.

The kids around here get a shiny new red car as soon as they live for 16 years. Most of the time, it's something like a BMW or Mercedes convertible. Parents pay all the expenses, insurance, and gas. Kid doesn't even have to flip burgers. We bucked the trend with our kids and they still speak to us. (Never mind that we couldn't afford to indulge them.) What we're teaching is for the kids to be consumers and to expect that someone else will foot the bill.

[AirmensMom]

11. That's ridiculous.

My kids had minimum wage jobs and had plenty to buy a nice dress for their proms (one was $75 and the other was $90). And they got something they could wear to another party. OK, so that was 10 years ago, but this is Boca -- the rich girls had very expensive gowns. And they got enough kid together so that the limo was $50 each. Since they were spending their own money, they looked for bargains.

Funny, they looked beautiful and had a great time. But they stopped talking about it maybe a week later ... not like it's something worth spending big bucks on.

$3500.00 certainly does sound excessive to me. But your brother's response says it all. When parents think it's OK, they're communicating that to the kids ... just my two cents' worth.

[Texasgal]

13. Oh yeah...

I told my brother that I thought it was RIDICULOUS to allow her to spend that kind of money!

Apparently, she's EARNED the money, she hasn't asked for any EXCEPT the remaining 1500.00!!

OH...and A HOTEL ROOM? Yeah, I forgot to tell you that, she and her "girlfriends" are renting a HOTEL ROOM at a snazzy hotel downtown!

[AirmensMom]

14. I must be the worst parent on earth.

:sarcasm:

I didn't give them anything except a kiss and "have a good time." Oh, and I took some pics.

A HOTEL ROOM? Did I read that correctly? :wtf: No offense, but it sounds like your brother is raising another one of those kids with a serious case of entitlement. Are they buying her a car, too?

[Texasgal]

18. It's ridiculous!

My Parents would have NEVER stood for a HOTEL ROOM! That's INSANE!!

He insists that she's a good girl... and she is, she makes good grades, she is very involved with school activities, does mentor programs and such... but NOTHING good came come out of a HOTEL ROOM on prom night!

[AirmensMom]

23. And in a few months,

he'll be footing the bill for an abortion ... or signing up to help with grandbaby. How can your brother be so naive? :banghead: Even kids with good grades have sex! Aaarrrggghhhh!

[Texasgal]

32. I'm telling you!

My parents are flabbergasted!

I have a theory I think...:)

My brother works for a London company that has him on 90% travel, he is hardly EVER home. So, when his princess daughter wanted this prom fiasco, I guess his guilt kicked in. I could be completely off base her, but that's my theory anyway... :shrug:

[AirmensMom]

57. I bet they are!

I think your theory is right on the money. And it doesn't help the kids at all. There are a lot of princess daughters these days. My ex-friend has one of them. Same thing -- Daddy's away on business all the time. Brings home designer bags for her. :shrug:

[Midlodemocrat]

19. At the risk of sounding judgmental, tell your brother to

totally rethink that hotel room thing. It ends up being a major drunken fest with tons and tons of kids having sex. The hotel looks the other way because they usually collect a deposit from the kids who don't have credit cards, and then just keep the deposit.

We had the misfortune to stay at a Residence Inn in CT when the local high school was having its prom. We finally had to call the cops. Kids were screaming, drinking, smoking. It was awful. It was a stressful time anyway because my mom was in the hospital, which was the whole reason we were there, but I really didn't need for my 2yo little girl to see a bunch of naked teenage boys running around the lawn.

[Texasgal]

21. I told him...

he dosen't see much wrong with... he says that lots of Parents are doing it!

It's just so WEIRD!

[AirmensMom]

26. Lots of parents are doing it?

Wait a minute ... didn't we teach the kids that was not a valid reason for anything? :scratching my head: Is this making you nuts?

[Texasgal]

37. YES!!!

It is making me NUTS!!!

[AirmensMom]

42. Me, too ...

and I don't even know your brother or your niece. Go figure. I just see SO much of it. What are we teaching these kids?

[Midlodemocrat]

38. You would be amazed.

In another post I spoke about the misfortune to spend the night at a hotel where all the kids from one high school ended up.

We complained to the management the following morning. They said there was nothing that they could do. In CT you can't refuse to rent a room. So, in other words, when Mommy shows up with her Gold Amex to rent a room, they have to rent it to her. And when Junior shows up with 30 friends, they look the other way.

It is frigging insane.

[AirmensMom]

51. I don't doubt that they are.

What shocks me is that a parent would justify doing it with that particularly lame excuse. Then, when something goes wrong, they're standing around wondering what in the world happened.

I read your post. What a nightmare!

[Midlodemocrat]

54. Personally, I think it is because we heap all this

'grow up', 'be responsible' shit on them before they are ready. I see it in elementary school and it just makes me want to :puke: They're BABIES fer cryin' out loud. Let them be babies. Let them grow up. Don't push so hard and maybe, just maybe they won't be doing things for which they aren't ready.

JMHO. YMMV.

Rant off.

[AirmensMom]

I think that's a different issue.

We want to give them IQ test when they're 3 years old. Then we put a cap and gown on them when they finish pre-school. That's just wrong. And it's not about growing up -- it's about bragging rights for the parents.

But it's a mixed message. They're supposed to be smart, but NOT responsible. As long as they make good grades, their parents give them whatever they want. When they're in high school and wanting expensive toys, etc., they should get a part time job to pay for them instead of getting everything for free.

We are probably the only parents on the planet who did not let our kids get drivers licenses when they turned 16 and turn them loose in a car of their own. Talk about being responsible! Give them a lethal weapon to drive around and don't require them to even buy gasoline? No way! That doesn't teach responsibility, it just feeds their sense of entitlement. We told our kids they had to be old enough to legally OWN a car and the insurance policy to go with it and have enough money to pay for it all. Then, welcome to the working world forever so they can keep the car running.

[Midlodemocrat]

30. Even if your brother totally trusts your niece and

he sounds like he has every reason to, not everyone is so trustworthy. She could get into trouble simply by the virtue of being there.

My daughter's school holds an all night post prom party at the local sport and racquet club. It is a HUGE hit. Parents volunteer, donate money and get prizes. We set up the big room like a casino and the kids play all kinds of casino type games, we have face painting, hair braiding, etc., the kids use the racquetball courts, basketball courts. The food is INCREDIBLE. Just about every junior and senior goes home with a prize. Nice ones, too. Like TVs, IPods, etc.,

It costs a fortune to put on, but we have been doing it for about 12 years. It has, so far, kept everyone safe and alive.

[Misunderestimator]

27. No way would I allow the hotel room. That's just insane.

And if she has $2,000 already... I would suspect she's planning on using the other $1,500 for something else. In fact, I would worry about her intelligence if she was planning to blow all that money on one stupid night. Wow... this sounds too bizarre to be true.

[Texasgal]

46. No... It's apparently NORMAL.

Looky here: http://www.prom-night.com/pntfguys.htm

And here: http://www.sptimes.com/2006/03/19/Tampabay/_It_s_all_about_becom.shtml

[Misunderestimator]

52. Those links don't explain $3,500. They might explain $1,000...

which is still ridiculous. From the second link: "The shop's most expensive prom dress retails for $529. Last year, the average price paid for a Patricia's prom dress was $262." Where the hell does the other $3,000 go?

[JVS]

60. It goes to fund the party

Party of Lenin, lead us to a groovy time!

[Misunderestimator]

67. You have a big cocaine fetish on this thread, I see.

Of course, that would explain the cost. :shrug:

[JVS]

69. Oh come on! Are we to believe a hotel room costs $2000?

Clearly this is not the case. The $2000 is to create within the hotel room the same environment as a 1970's era disco at the height of its excess!

Although I am willing to entertain the possibility that the money is spent on other drugs, perhaps extacy or a shitload of really righteous weed.

[Misunderestimator]

70. Or maybe they are really cunning and just pocketing it for later use.

Like the downpayment for a car.

[JVS]

71. It is sad when a generation is raised to be such good little consumers...

that they would make such a trade off.

[Misunderestimator]

73. What? Trade purchasing cocaine for buying a car?

You've lost me now.

[JVS]

74. Better to drive a clunker and experience the party, than to save it to...

make a down payment on a fucking corolla.

Keep those legitimate businesses humming ye good little consumer puppies!

[Misunderestimator]

77. Yeah, right. Better to snort $3,000 worth of cocaine up your nose...

than to have a vehicle to get you to work or school. $3,000 would buy a nice moped, after all.

Either you're kidding, or you just really, really like cocaine. Either way... it's just uh... weird.

[JVS]

84. Ohh look at me! I have a scooter, lah di dah!

$400= 3 people doing coke for 10 hours! Do you realize how serious a party one could get going with $3000? It would be a true experience!

[Misunderestimator]

85. Holy shit.. you really do like cocaine. Pretty awful drug to love so much.

:eyes:

[JVS]

87. Car payments are for Spießers!

[Misunderestimator]

89. Yeah, ok.

[HEyHEY]

92. He's right, why drive when you can fly?

[Texasgal]

61. I have no idea...

That's why I cannot believe this...

On Edit: The hair, shoes, accessories, limo, photographer and Hotel is what supposedly is driving the "cost" up!

:wtf:

Oh and come to find out the tickets to the prom are 150.00!!

[Misunderestimator]

66. Yeah, but it quoted those at under $100 apiece. Even with a $150 ticket..

it still does NOT compute. I think your niece is lying. :shrug:

[Ava]

68. i can't believe she is "allowed" to pay for a hotel room

usually teens have to sneak off to do that. :shrug:

[Texasgal]

75. No... that's not true..

Did you see up thread where Midlodemo had to chase some kids off while staying at a hampton inn on a prom night?

Let me make myself clear... I OBJECT to this type of money being spent, I find it a travesty that a young girl would want to spend this type of money on ONE NIGHT.

I'm kinda getting a weird vibe here on this thread all of the sudden.

[AirmensMom]

79. What weird vibe?

It looks to me like most people are with you. :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

82. We had to sneak off to a country inn and make up an excuse about our

boyfriend's getting their apt. fumigated. None of our parents knew about the hotel room, just as I suspect most of these parents don't. There is a weird vibe here because most of us are either parents of teens and/or are not very far off from our own proms and that dollar amount is just way to outrageous to believe. :shrug:

[DrGonzoLives]

28. Hotel room?

There are only two reasons to get a hotel room after prom:

(1) Drink and/or smoke
(2) Fuck

Or both.

[JVS]

29. And don't forget the coke snorting.

[DrGonzoLives]

33. Dude, I would have KILLED for a coke orgy after my proms

Both my dates sucked, no alcohol at the after-parties, just depressing. I could've used some hookers and blow.

[JVS]

34. Or even a shitty date can be good if you both do a few lines

[nemo137]

99. what kind of sissy weasels need a hotel

we went camping.

[JVS]

16. What prom is complete without the $3500 cocaine orgy?

[Texasgal]

24. Ummm...

She's not a druggie.

[JVS]

25. All things have their beginnings. Besides, does engaging in one...

cocaine orgy really make someone a druggie?

[Texasgal]

35. Dosen't a "cocaine orgy"

Sound a bit like a druggie having a good time?

[JVS]

41. Oops, I forgot to precede "cocaine orgy" with "writhing"

And it sounds like it would be impossible for anyone not to be having a good time in that situation!

[DrGonzoLives]

36. Only if you snort it off someone's breasts

Or lick it off of...well, you know.

[JVS]

44. There are lots of good places to put the coke before it goes up your nose

[eyesroll]

31. That's crazy...I skipped prom, but I can't even think of how I'd spend

$3,500 on an evening out -- and I'm of legal drinking/hotel age.

Then again, I go vintage for dresses, minimalist on jewlery, and haven't paid for an updo since tenth grade.

[frankly_fedup2]

45. I think your brother's daughter has a few other plans in mind if she . . .

is needing that kind of money. What, I do not know, but $3500? Either your brother is just telling you this to make it sound like he is really putting out some cash (which he may have) in a bragging-kind of way, or the niece is not telling "daddy" everything.

A sucker is born everyday, especially if he has a daughter. (hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil)

[ScreamingMeemie]

47. Tell him he's being duped by his daughter. Proms do not cost that much

these days. Only if top of the line...I'm talking couture dresses and such are wanted. My daughter trades dresses with her friends for formals and a decent updo can be had at JCPenney's for 30 dollars. Luckily, I do my daughter's hair. Sounds like somebody is squeezing daddy. Tell him this mother of a teenager pays nowhere near that. And she's high maintenance. :hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

48. Ditto, Mrs. G.

'high maintenance'.


:rofl:

My daughter and your daughter must have been separated at birth. Right now, she is frantically trying to find her last paycheck so she can go tanning. :eyes:

[Dangerously Amused]

49. It's crazy.

lizziegrace is right. Nobody I know can even remember much of their prom, many can't even remember their date's name. Many of those who do remember have unpleasant memories... throwing up, passing out, wrecking an expensive dress, date getting drunk and throwing up on them, date drunk and stupid and/or flirting with someone else and pissing them off... most say it wasn't worth the cost.

Ask your brother how much he remembers of his prom. Ask him if that kind of memory is worth $3500.

[Ava]

50. not to be rude, but it sounds to me like your niece is going over the top

it shouldn't cost that much :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

55. I'm getting a "My Super Sweet Sixteen" type vibe.

:hi: My daughter and I love pointing and laughing at that show. She will pretend when we're out shopping that she's an obnoxious little sweet sixteener...and we roll.

[Ava]

59. i can't stand to even laugh at that show. it makes me sad and worried

about where the human race is going. :shrug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

63. Nah. Most of us are still normal. Those are the top 1%.

I can afford to laugh at them. Money certainly hasn't bought them the happiness I have. I am more worried about the average citizen...the stress I see on the streets among my neighbors and peers.

[bbernardini]

72. One of my former students was on that show!

The boy, Hart.

[ScreamingMeemie]

83. The tennis kid who gets sick on the energy drinks?

A part of me found myself hoping no one would show up.

[JVS]

88. LOL!

[bbernardini]

90. That's the one.

Saw a few other former students on there as well.

[Texasgal]

56. Hey... I was shocked too!

But it seems that Proms have gotten overly decadent!

Here's a link that describes a Prom average of being 1,000.00!!

http://www.newsforparents.org/expert_prom.html

[Midlodemocrat]

58. Your poor brother. He sounds like he is just trying to do the best

that her can for your niece. I get the feeling that guy is between a rock and a hard place.

[ScreamingMeemie]

62. Sorry, but that just isn't true.

Not at my daughter's high school, nor any of the other high schools around here. Less than $500 tops, unless a parent buys into the whole, "I need a one of a kind $1,000 dress and Vidal Sassoon has to do my hair."

[Ava]

65. 1,000 dollars, all though expensive, is reasonable. but $3,500?

i live in a pretty small town that is on a large lake. status is everything here. we have doctors, lawyers, CEO's and all different types of people who chose to live here instead of big cities(where they work). unfortunately, i have to admit that i hang out with some of the daughters of these people because my parents are both lawyers. i've seen how much money can be spent on meaningless crap, but even this surprises me a bit. :shrug:

[WildEyedLiberal]

76. I spent 80 bucks on my dress. That was it.

Limo? WTF?

I had some suitable dress shoes already, and my cousin helped me with my hair and makeup. The dinner was included with admission to prom.

My prom was 3 years ago... I don't know where the fuck this girl lives, but there. is. no. way.

[progmom]

80. Seriously??

Damn. :wow:

I can't even begin to imagine how she would be spending all that money.

Are you close to your niece? Do you feel like this is legit?

[Texasgal]

94. I am pretty close with her...

Funny thing is she dosen't seem like someone who would just go and blow thsi massive amount of money, she's pretty level headed.

Her Mom died when she was six, and my Brother lives next door to my folks ( They bought houses next to each other ) so she spends alot of time with my parents because my brother is odften gone on business.

I am not sure if she is just screaming for attention or what... it's strange.

[progmom]

97. It's just.... $3500....wow

I mean...I imagine if she and her friends were renting a limo, getting a hotel room...they would all share the cost. Even if the dress was ridiculous...I just can't wrap my brain around this.

Maybe you could talk to her about it? Or maybe even about what good she could do with the $2000 she already has if she helped a soup kitchen or a homeless shelter instead of wasting it all on one night that probably won't end up meaning much to her in a couple of years.

[Radical Activist]

81. This is the natural result of our materialistic culture.

This is what happens when children are raised in a culture of materialism and excess. Even if parents don't have those values, its all around kids in the media and materialism is at the heart of the conservative political movement as well. Its a shame.

[Texasgal]

95. I agree...It is a shame.

The whole "Prom culture" is annoying anyway!

[TheMightyFavog]

86. And then there's kids renting these...

[nemo137]

100. $3.5 K in gas right there. n/t

[seemunkee]

91. My daughter's dress was $30

My wife will gladly pay the $75 to get her hair changed from blue to blonde and we will be hosting an all night alcohol/drug free after party. Dinner will add ~$30

[texas1928]

96. Most I spent was 300 and that was for the tickets, flowers...

a new pair of Justins, new hat, and a Tails Tux coat, and shirt.

[nemo137]

98. Ack, pthbbb

honestly, fuck prom. I went twice, didn't learn my lesson the first time, and hated it twice. A sucky way to end a sucky high school career. Got ditched, got puked on, spent all night taking care of an overly drunk friend, and then mistook my date for a bricklayer friend of mine.

Although, my inner bit of rust-belt white-trash wants to blame "prom culture" on those submoral heathens from the suburbs.

I'm a bit punchy tonight, sorry, it's been a long day.