Ever tried to precisely time a fart and a door-slam simultaneously?

[RandomKoolzip]

Y'know...mixed company...gassy feelings in the belly...best way to cover up the sound is to make a loud noise while letting 'er rip, right? (The smell is a different matter, of course - you can always blame it on your pets. Or your wife).

So how good are you at synching up a fart and the closing of a door or similar loud noise?

[ZombieNixon]

1. Ever try to chew gum and take a dump at the same time?

Yeah, me neither.

[RandomKoolzip]

2. I HAVE tried to chew my dump and take gum at the same time....

Oh, who am I kidding....No I haven't.


I did get chewing gum stuck in my bush once, though.

[tuvor]

3. Well, all I can offer is this bit of advice.

Never--for ANY reason--force a fart.

That is all.

[RandomKoolzip]

4. Wow...reminds me of Ed Sanders's "The Family."

There's an episode where Sanders listens in on one of the MAnson Family's "jam sessions," where they sing one of Charlie's songs that goes, "If you force a fart/you'll shit all over yourself."

And that, my friends, may just be my cue to hit the sack. Good night, ev'rybody!