So I filed a police report....

[LynzM]

In reference to this: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4952629

Not that it's going to do any good. :eyes:

I'm so paranoid of authority. Cops make me feel 10 years old again. Yikes.

The cop I talked to basically said that he is familiar with that family, and they tend to be beligerent and confrontational. Joy. He said he could go up there and talk to them, but that could make it better or worse, and no way to know. He left it up to me... I said leave it alone, for now, and I'll call if it happens again.

He also said that even if they threaten to do something, and then that something happens, it doesn't matter... I guess that makes sense, so I can't go slash my own tires and frame them or something, but... that's frustrating! What's the point of me even reporting it, then?

Still, better I did it, I suppose.

Fingers crossed that it was a one-time deal, and that either they move soon, or we do... *sigh*. The longer we're here, the sooner I want to leave, which really sucks. Mostly I want a place where I feel safe and feel safe taking my daughter out and maybe even leaving a door unlocked once in a while... and then I think I'm just being paranoid. But there's something to be noticed about being a middle-class white family in a lower-class, mostly Puerto Rican neighborhood. I don't mean that to be prejudiced, just that we do kinda stick out, I think. *sigh* Why are people stupid? I mean, really? What does it accomplish? x(

[Oeditpus Rex]

1. It matters

The cop told you that so you won't think it's an open-and-shut case if the asspipe does key your van or something. Having stuff on record does matter to the po-lice.

Y'done good. :thumbsup:

As for why people are stupid, I think they just don't know any other way, whether it's because of their upbringing/life situation or whatever. We've created a rather angry society through so much emphasis on what our lives "should" be like.

[LynzM]

5. Thanks, OR

I agree about people not knowing another way... and I look at the way these people treat their kids, and it makes me really, really sad :(

[Oeditpus Rex]

10. That's the worst part

They create more of themselves. :cry:

[Redstone]

2. It's not an easy thing to deal with. Most people (including me) deal with

lousy neighbors by moving. I know you don't have that option.

But trust me, m'dear, you are on the right track. Those animals respect only strength, and you're establishing yourself as the strong one.

Redstone

[LynzM]

6. Even you? Wow.

I wish that it were an option right now, but... such is life. It would likely be a tradeoff between a nicer place to live and sending the little one to the preschool we want to send her to, and... what kind of a decision is that, anyway? Ugh.

[trof]

3. Why stupid, indeed?

I don't know.
Prejudice and racial hatred (maybe too strong a word) sure work both ways.
WASPS don't have an exclusive.

My heart goes out to you. I wouldn't want to live that way either.
I also think you did right.
Having it on record that there is a problem may help later.
Isn't THAT encouraging?

Sorry I don't have an answer, except "move" and that's not an answer either.
:hug:

[LynzM]

7. Thanks, trof

You're right, that judgment goes both ways... :( So sad.

:hug: back at ya!

[skygazer]

4. That's the question of the ages

I think a lot of people are belligerent and argumentive because in their world it's somewhat of a survival tactic. After a while, it becomes the standard way they react to other people. Kind of a survival of the fittest thing.

I think you did the right thing - a police report shows that there's an ongoing situation.

Have you ever spoken to them about these issues? Not confrontationally, just a simple - "Hey, I wondered if you could remind the kids not to leave stuff in the drive - I'd hate to run over their toys accidentally."

I've lived in all types of areas - rich and poor, crime-ridden and not, but under all the baggage, people tend to just be people. Low key and non-threatening usually makes a bit of a connection with about anyone. At any rate, good luck. I hope things smooth out.

[LynzM]

8. Thanks, skygazer

I've never spoken to them about it, partly because I usually just move the stuff, sigh, and get on with my life, and partly because I wouldn't even know who to talk to. I'm not sure who lives in which house or who are the parents, or whatnot. I suppose if it keeps happening, I may try to figure that out, or at least ask the kids themselves to please not leave their stuff there.

I do hope it smoothes out and blows over, or whatnot.

[salin]

9. Once had really loud and obnoxious neighbors (apts)

and my roommate waged a passive aggressive "war" - their noise went up, she got loud back, etc. Went on for a long time.

I tried a different approach - I invited them over when their music was loud so they could hear what it sounded like, I was appologetic, but thought awareness might help. It did, a teeeny weeeny bit.

Oddest thing changed the dynamics. I had to go out of town for a week, and forgot to cut off the local paper. I went next door and asked if they would like the paper for a week (my roommate swore that when our paper went missing it was from the neighbors, so if she was right - they might actually read/appreciate it.) When I returned, we started periodically expressing niceties... including after baby neighbor was about three - getting included in the "safe" places to go trick or treating (baby neighbor was very cute.)

Still scratch my head that after a year or so of stress, the thing that seemed to change the dynamics was giving them the newspaper while I was gone (which was a mutually beneficial thing.) Go figure.

[jukes]

11. bad neighbors like that can ruin your life

@ least for a time. pretty much a guarantee if they sense they can bully you w/o an act of defense from you, it will continue.

a mini-cassette costs about $50, another $20 for a condenser mike.

i had a dispute w/ a neighbor over a stray/abused dog i rescued that he tried to claim. there were shots fired at night (rural Georgia), loud drunken parties w/ tirades about the "dog thief", etc. i'm a retired cop, so i saw the way it was heading. i taped all of the abuse, & when it escalated to the point he threatened to burn my house down, i applied for a warrant for terrorist threats. he spent a year w/ an ankle bracelet and i was granted a restraining order.

if you get a threat on tape, a lawyer can handle all the legal difficulties for a fairly nominal fee, or you can force the police to do their job & take action. (they do blow off "neighborhood dispute claims out of laziness sometimes, but taped evidence will force them to act.)

protect yourself! you don't have to live in fear.

feel free to PM me if you want to discuss your problem further.