Workmate's new Starbucks order. I couldn't be more proud of this guy.

[swag]

My workmate's disenchantment with the simplicity of his regular Starbucks order got the best of him this morning. He came to consult with me about formulating a more complex order for his daily trip to Starbucks. I gave him a couple of minor suggestions, harvested from some of the ridiculous things I have heard while standing in line to order my double-tall nonfat latte, but he really took things from there and came up with a Starbucks order that I just think is fantastic. He is really going to do well with this espresso drink order:

Grande quad ristretto three pump sugar-free vanilla organic non-fat 140-degree wet cappuccino.

[DS1]

1. I'm taking that one step further

and asking for one at McDonalds :D

[swag]

5. You Da Man!

[momophile]

2. damn, and all I ever ask for is a medium latte...

I even refuse to say 'grande.'

Sounds like a good drink, though... I think... well, maybe... what's ristretto?

[swag]

7. According to coffeeforless.com

• Cafe ristretto: This is highly concentrated espresso (3/4 to one ounce of water used for extraction), resulting in a denser, and more aromatic espresso.

There are some debates raging at http://starbucksgossip.typepad.com over whether "quad" defeats the purpose of ristretto.

[XemaSab]

24. Or 3....

:evilgrin:

[momophile]

3. delete - copy

[swag]

8. You should consider using these delete-copies

for the good of humankind.

[momophile]

4. delete - copy

[WCGreen]

6. You should copy write that.....

There are more words in that description than in the first chapter of a Dickens Novel.....

[swag]

9. I can't imagine how they would code that on the side of the cup.

I needs me a samizdat copy of the Green Apron Book.

[jane_pippin]

10. Tell him to also specify how many seconds old his shot

should be.

For example, when I worked at the Starbucks we had a customer who would ask for a:

Grande, sugar free vanilla, half whole half skim, 22 second shot, not too hot, extra foam, cappuccino.

He was an absolute joy! Oh, and make sure to stand next to the espresso machine so you (or he) can be absolutely sure that your shot was a 22 second shot.

[swag]

11. That's a great refinement: specify the duration of your ristretto shots.

Thanks.

I'll tell him to further endear himself by throwing two grimy pennies in the tip receptacle each day.

[Left Is Write]

12. The sugar-free vanilla is icky.

So there.

:D

[swag]

15. I'm sure the sugarful vanilla is also icky.

But this guy likes icky.

[slide to the left]

13. Did you know?

That I once got an official ordering guide, from starbuck. It gave the order that things should go.

Here is an online version:
http://www.starbuckshawaii.com/en/latte_lingo.htm

Edit: to add link

[swag]

14. Outstanding.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. with a twist.

[amitten]

17. Your workmate should be prepared for violence.

Violence from the masses behind him in line when he orders.

[swag]

19. The prospects are enticing.

Maybe I'll secretly follow him down there tomorrow morning. His Starbucks is in a mall and there's a lot of big glass windows everywhere. He's a big guy, too, so he would put up a good fight.

[RevolutionaryActs]

18. Ask for a dry rice milk cappuccino.

It's impossible to do, because rice milk doesn't foam. :rofl:

[swag]

20. The diabolical squeaky potato strikes again.

[AllegroRondo]

21. Can I just order a coffee?

or would I get thrown out for that?

[swag]

26. They would like you better for that.

[LynneSin]

22. Where's the Soy Whip Cream & Chocolate sprinkles

:shrug:

[jakefrep]

23. Get it right...

If you must use Soy Whip Cream, you just gotta have carob sprinkles.

[LynneSin]

25. Shame on me

[swag]

27. The Green Apron countenances no shame.

[henslee]

28. You guys sure have your work priorities in order.

[swag]

29. Final Four starts, what, Saturday?

I'm sure if there had been significant basketball today somebody would have tried to talk to me about it.

[henslee]

30. No signif. ball today. I did watch the Jazz beat Nuggets-a yawn of a game.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

31. His drink is impossible.

First off, ristretto would be a strong straight shot of espresso. Once you add the whole, three pump sugar-free vanilla organic non-fat 140-degree wet cappuccino stuff, it is not a ristretto shot. Well, four ristretto shots actually.

Plus, at Starbucks, the organic milk is only available in whole milk, therefore he couldn't order it non-fat.

That said being said...

I have previously worked for Starbucks and my standard drink is triple grande organic dry cappucino. The drink he made up is impossible, but since Starbucks policy is to make whatever the customer wants, it could prove to be an interesting social experiment to demand it from management. We used to have a customer that would only drink bold coffees brewed in a French Press (IMHO, the only way to drink straight coffee), so when he came in, we'd have to brew him his own coffee in the French Press using a roast that he asked for. INSANITY!!!!!

[swag]

32. Perfect.

He's a Libertarian.

Of course his drink is impossible.

Thanks for the education.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

33. No problem.

I like Starbucks coffee, but I hated working for the company. That being said, they really do have thorough training. I know more about coffee than a human should.

[emmajane67]

34. Never been to Starbucks, never will.

When I was a barista, anyone who wanted syrup got told to **** off and go to Starbucks or learn to drink real coffee. With my bosses blessing, he didn't have flavours for a reason.

I worked in an independent, fair-trade coffee roaster for ages and have made a LOT of coffee in cafes with VERY high standards.

The coffee trade and Starbucks place in it troubles me. Also, I love coffee and hate seeing it completely bastardised.

YES, I'm a coffee snob.