Goodnight, dear lounge. Here are some jokes. (not that one)

[Random_Australian]

**********CAUTION, AUTHOR REALLY TIRED************


Actually, I lied. I'm gonna say goodnight, THEN you get the jokes, in my own style used specifically when I am really tired. It is past midnight so I'll off to bed, but have these first:

Goodnight. (Btw it opens like the Brazillion joke but isn't)

Donald Rumsfeld was giving the president his daily breifing.
Just before the end he looks down and goes "Holy fuck-a-person of socioeconomically disadvataged status! You're on fire! You're actually, f*cking on fire! " and Bush says, "Sweet Condi-f*cking Christ! you're f*cking right!" and it's true, his pants really are on fire.

So don't lie children, or your pants will catch fire. Also, in this case there was a cruel twist of irony, because Haliburton made the Asbestos banner, it didn't burn. The white house did. In the end all that was left were smoking ruins, and a banner 'Mission Accomplished'.

Boom, boom.

One day there was a man called Bush who was playing pin-the-nuclear warhead-on-the-country, and instead of hitting (Huh, god knows which country) he hit Iraq, and he said, "Sh*t, I missed"

Immediately, 500 fundy priests ran into the room, and said "Killing the Iraqis is fine, but if you use that word again, God Himself will strike you down"

That day, God was looking for a good smiting, so he got Bush to say, "O.K., I won't say that... I'd better find out what the other words are I shouldn't say" so he read a book, which contained many four letter words and even some blasphemous phrases, like "Safe, affordable non-invasive medical procedures for women"

Ever watch a doofus like that read a book not entitled "Run, spot, run"... he did what all doofi do: he read it out loud.

"Sh*t" said Bush, and instantly a lightning bolt smote the 500 priests. And a big booming voice called down from the sky, and it said

"Shit. I missed again!...
...
...
...
...
...
...
........ Just Kidding, ASSHAT F*CKSTICK!"
And a meteor smote Bush and his Private Ranch into exactly 9192631770 pieces, which co-incidentaly is the number of Cs-133 oscillations there are in a second.

And then God said: Let there be free thought.

And there was light.



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
That's it for tonight my American friends, so sweet dreams and kick this long enough that a few people see it. Thanks, sweet dreams, and I hope you all have lovely fridays. And saturdays. And 2007's. And great kids. And a country that becomes profoundly liberal.

Nigh-Night!

[Random_Australian]

1. I didn't swear too much and I was coherent, wasn't I?

btw, I'm not staying, just got back from shower so now is goodbye!
G'night