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Our Prophet: Homer J. Simpson

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northzax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:17 PM
Original message
Our Prophet: Homer J. Simpson
Edited on Tue Mar-14-06 01:18 PM by northzax
Yes, this should probably be in the religion forum, but I can't be bothered:

found on DC-Craigslist:

With all of the confusion and strife concerning the current state of religion today, I think that now, more than ever, we need to embrace to doctrine of Simpsonism. Like other religions, our prophet does not walk amongst the mortals. His great presence can be felt on a daily basis, and he speaks to us anew on special Sundays. On Simpson Sundays, we can hear the word of the prophet Homer…and it is good. If you will, allow me to share with you the words of our prophet, and join me in celebrating his glory. Do-Nut.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Here, our prophet tries to speak to us about what it is to be human. Human nature, according to the prophet Homer, is a struggle. Each day, we struggle to make our own path against a constant stream of negative forces that try to condem, punsih, harm or otherwise affect our path in life. Furthermore, the prophet Homer tells us that after all this greatness we have achieved- the nuclear power plant, the tire-fire, the bowling alley and the quickie-mart- all these tradmarks of a great civilization, we are, after all, no better than the weasel. In many ways, we are all still animals. Do-Nut.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

More wisdom from our Saviour. How much greater would DC, nay, the world be if we all could learn a little more for the words of the Homer. No more popped collars from the college boys trying so hard to look cool. No more brown noses from the underlings trying so hard to impress the boss. No more traffic jams, cluttered with the masses, trying so hard to make it to work ontime. Lets all stop trying to reach the heights of our careers. Lets all stop trying to make showey displays to impress the opposite sex. Lets all stop trying to make the world a better place…and it just may happen. Do-Nut.


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eyepaddle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
1. Sorry, the link is broken nt
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northzax Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:21 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. really? works for me?
:shrug:
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
3. Cool!
Somewhere, I have a copy of "The Gospel According to the Simpsons."
I need to dig it out and read it again! :hi:
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AllegroRondo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
4. my fave:
(explosion outside)

Homer: Its the rapture! Quick, hide Bart before God comes!
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Coventina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Mar-14-06 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. LOL! That's one of my favorite lines as well.
:thumbsup:
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