I feel horrible.

[SeanQuinn]

I don't know what to do.

I went to a Club Paris Teen Exclusive last night. Usually, every time I go, I have a decent-to-good time. This time, instead of going with my friends I usually go with (who were at a concert I couldn't grab tickets to), I went with some other friends I enjoyed.

One of these friends is my best friend D. I'll use initials for privacy's sake. I expected to dance with her, though I had problems dancing with her last time. Regardless, she had a horrible time, which makes me feel bad. She couldn't get many guys outside of our group (just me, 3 other girls though) and felt horrible. We danced for a little bit, but not much. She seems to have improved from last night, which is good.

Then, there is the girl I like, B. She had a great time, for her first time. She made out with this guy she had been dancing with for maybe three-four minutes. I witnessed it, and went to the bathroom, where to quote the song I'm jamming to, I "had to cry today". Except it was yesterday. She apologized and we danced again, for a little bit.

Finally, there was T and A. I didn't express A to dance with me, and frankly, don't like her that much. I danced with T a little bit, but not really enough to constitute a dance.

Anyway, I felt fine coming home last night. It could've been the Red Bull or something, but I didn't feel that bad. I knew I didn't get many dances, but I grouped dance and felt pretty good.

Now it's sinking in. The girl I had a crush on made out with a random guy. I was ignored majorly by my other friends, D and T. I don't know if I'm ever going to go back, but if I do, I'm bring my friend AP, because he's a big self-esteem booster.

I don't know what to do, I'm really depressed, and I don't even know who my friends are. I want to hang out with a bunch of people, but they're so busy, and I'm just lazing out.

What do I do?

[TroubleMan]

1. No matter how much you like the person now...

No matter how "perfect" you think she might be for you.....

Don't worry - another one will come around that's even better for you or that's just as good.

Unless you're married or engaged (or have kids and shacked up), you should never get too upset over a relationship. There are plenty of other people out there for you. Sure - it sucks, but dust yourself off and try again. Don't let it get you down. There's a whole world out there, full of women who will like you and won't like you. Don't let one person get you down.

Also....women - that goes for you with men. There's always somebody else out there.

[SeanQuinn]

2. I'm 13.

I think that answers the marriage/engagement question.

I graduate in two months -- I just want them to be a civil two months.

[TroubleMan]

4. Aw man.....you got a whole life of dating and breaking up ahead of you

Don't worry about focusing too much on one person, unless they're focusing on you like that. Just be open and take what comes with a smile. Also, don't be mopey....one thing that I learned the hard way is that a lot of women don't like it when you're moping about somebody you lost or just broke up with (but don't try to act like too much of a player either....they see right through that, too).

[LisaL]

6. Doesn't sound like you had too bad of a time.

Cheer up.

[tjdee]

3. Wait, what's the problem? B? Something else?

Dude, I wish I had it as good as you when I was a teenager. You went out, with more than one friend...and you usually go, with other friends!
You danced with a bunch of people, you felt fine until today, when you started to navel gaze.

If you were ignored a bit by D and T, maybe it was an off night for your friendship. That's okay to have. You have AP to bring next time (making you have a gazillion friends, which is way more than I had at your age I think).

As for B... if she's making out with some other guy, she's not that into you. This is a colossal truth I wish I had learned many years ago. No amount of wanting is going to make her into you if she isn't. You can only be you, and one day a lovelier girl will be completely into that with no prodding/crying/angsting. It's a shame, surely, but pining is the nuttiest thing a person can do. And I used to be Queen Piner.

[Earth_First]

5. My friend, never worry over such trivial issues...

Enjoy yourself while you are young and these are the biggest worries you have to deal with.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

7. Ahhh, teen angst.

Not trying to denigrate you, just trying to let you know we all go there, and amazingly we all seem to survive it. It even makes most of us stronger.

Don't be depressed or angry about the time you had- try to learn from it and move on. Granted, it may be a while before you realize just what it is you're supposed to learn, but my friend, that's half the fun of it!

Tomorrow is a new day, and it will be here in just a little while. Peace out and sleep well. Life (and all the fun therein) WILL go on.

[Blue-Jay]

8. Kind of makes you nostalgic, eh?

and to the OP: It seems like a Big Deal right now, and that's normal I suppose. Don't fret, though. It gets better. (It gets worse, too, but mostly it gets better.)

[crispini]

9. Don Miguel Ruiz summarises 'The Four Agreements':

Wish I'd known these years ago. Especially 2 and 3 are very good:

the four agreements - don miguel ruiz's code for life
agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3
Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

[pitohui]

15. pitohui's modification

i always felt that #1 should be speak w. integrity but never underestimate the value of the well-timed fib or the little white lie

teens don't need to be encouraged to speak w. too much integrity, they are often way too honest as it is

remember, the right answer to the question, does this make my butt look fat? is always, hell, no, your butt looks perfect

[crispini]

16. I agree

Think that comes under the "and love" part. :D

[uppityperson]

10. you got to go dance, cool.

I'd never be a teenager again. Never ever ever. What to do now is hang out here, or start IMing people or think about who you want to expand your friendship group to include or read a book or pet the pet or something or write in your journal about how no one understands you and what other people think is important is trite and then put that journal away so when you get to be 30, and hopefully you will, you will find it and roll your eyes at yourself. Take a shower, eat some icecream, listen to music. This to will pass.

[Wetzelbill]

11. lots of fish in the sea

I have my share of female problems, trust me. The thing is, there are so many wonderful, attractive, intelligent women out there that it's foolish to let one get you down too much. Easier said then done, I know. Just remember, as good as she may be there are plenty of others out there who would be just a good a match or even better for you. You are young, just keep going out, having a good time and trying. Hang out with your friend AP if he makes you feel better. Stay friends with the others too. Sometimes friendships have off nights. I think the girl you have the crush on likes you well enough. Not sure if it's more in the "just friends" camp or what, but just stay friends with her and if she's interested at some point things will work out. Just don't let yourself get hung up on her and her alone, not when you have opportunities for other relationships, and you definitely do. Don't hold it against her that she made out with some guy though, guys are smooth, sometimes we say the right thing and suck a girl in. It happens. I am totally unsmooth and I've lucked into kissing women I barely knew at clubs and stuff before. Sometimes a woman can just get caught up in the moment much like us guys can. Let her know you still like her and stay friends. If there is more to it in the future well, that will all come to pass. Don't force it and don't push her. Just be good to her, but keep your eye out for other opportunities too. Keep going out and having fun. We all have our tough nights, we just can't let that ruin everything for us.

[SeanQuinn]

12. Obligatory political reference...

B's not shutting up about Neil Boortz and Hannity lately..ick.

She seems apologetic, yet I think she's trying to just cover her ass with me and tell me to bug off.

Thanks for all the advice!

[Skittles]

13. Sean, I know this is hard to understand at 13

but in a year you won't even remember this incident. At your age you worry incessantly about who your friends are but I can tell you at the end of your life you will be able to count the number of true friends you had on one hand. Now, move on, and you're going to be fine. :)

[pitohui]

14. it don't sound like you have to do anything

parties suck, i've noticed it myself