Going w/ my gutt

[MissMillie]

and feeling an overwhelming sense of relief

I don't know how many of you are following my trials and tribulations but I have to relay some good news.

Back story 1) My landlord sold the building I live in, and the new landlord raised my rent by 30%. My son graduates high school in 2.5 years and I was hoping we'd stay in our current town for the duration. We've been there for 4 years. (When we were looking to move to that area, I was seeing someone and thought we'd end up living together. Even as the relationship fell apart, the move never did.)

Well, in those 4 years, I have made very few friends and really have no ties to the area. My son, on the other hand, has made a lot of friends, and loves the ROTC program at his school.... which leads me to

Back story 2) My son's school called me about 2 weeks ago and the long and short of it is that his grades are more than just a little bit below par (for him) and he's been cutting school (not to mention the fact that every time I asked him about school he lied to me). Of course, I'm dealing with this through a combination of therapy and carrots and sticks.

Well the solution came to me today, and the more I think about it, the more I'm sure it's the right thing to do.

AFter we finish out this school year, we're going to move back to the town that is next to where we used to live. It has a pretty good school and an ROTC program. It is also close to my family and friends.

My son, if he's able to earn my trust again, will be driving, so he will be able to visit with the friends he has where we are now. Also, he'll be in college (my lips to God's ears) in only 2 years.

The apartments are much more affordable in that area. I'll hate the commute, but it's only for 2 years.

Ever just get a feeling in your gut that you are absolutely doing the right thing???? I feel like I'm 3 inches taller (that my neck isn't hunkered into my shoulders w/ stress anymore).

The only thing I'm not excited about is telling my son what I think we should do. He won't be very happy, but I think it's a decent compromise. And if he behaves himself, he'll be able to keep in touch w/ his current friends.

I'm going to keep praying on this, but I feel so good right now that I can't imagine that it isn't what is suppose to happen.

[SheilaT]

1. Good for you.

This is going to be tough, and I hope he makes it through the school year all right. Hopefully other people will weigh in, but I'm inclined to suggest you not tell him about the planned move until a little closer to the time. Unless you need to be apartment hunting and so it's not possible to keep it quiet.

Not knowing anything besides what you've posted, moving back seems to make a lot of sense. Your money is limited, and this will make the best use of your funds.

Driving is a privilege, and I live in a state that will license 15 year olds, which is entirely too young in my opinion. I made both my sons wait until age 16 for the permit, and have no regrets, even though they think I'm incredibly mean. What they haven't done is wreck several cars, unlike too many kids they know.

Good luck and keep us posted on what happens.

[ZenLefty]

2. I wish you all the good luck in the world

Making a change like that is both exhilirating and frightening at the same time. It soulds like a good solution, though, and it's good to have a plan. :D

[silverlib]

3. I wish you the best!

Thank you for not making any decisions at all, because that is the worst decision to make. I once was a single parent with a teenager, too. It's a real challenge. Doing most anything is better than hiding, pulling the wool over you eyes and doing nothing. Take this from one who has been there - he will love you no matter what, and one day he will even know that he does. That's the good part. In making hard decisions, we make the best ones we can with what we have and its sounds like you are really incredible!

[Dogmudgeon]

4. "My son, if he's able to earn my trust again ... "

He's 16.

Who did he kill, rape, or torture to "lose" your trust?

If I sound harsh, well, your description sounds unbelievably cold for a mother.

Hopefully, I have completely misread the situation, and will be happy to admit that I am a jackass.

Either way, I wish you both good luck.

--bkl

[radwriter0555]

6. Watch it. Her boy was WAY out of line and lied to her about grades and

attendance. The boy lied HUGE. Personally, I'd have been a LOT more rough on him that she was, but she knows her boy, and I don't.

So don't go getting all judgemental unless you know the whole story. This is a good woman working hard to raise her son the right way. She's doing a good job and the best she can!

Cheers!

[radwriter0555]

5. Once you got the plan, EVERYTHING falls into place. Your gut is ALWAYS

right. Every single time.

Sounds like the perfect plan and that it will all fall into place just perfect.

I bet your son gets right in line too. I have a feeling he won't kick up all that much fuss. Plus, you can at this point use the car as the carrot, and -- don't tell him this now -- but use it as a privilege to take away when he acts out, but don't tell him that until you make the agreement to actually use the car thusly.

Go for it! It'll be GREAT.