Study Proves Universe Created By CommitteeBy Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Gestation, Kansas, June 11, 2010
The most extensive analysis yet undertaken of the structure and contents of the universe conclusively proves the universe was created not by a single entity, as has been widely suggested, but by “a fractious and disorganized committee or committees given to groupthink and petty infighting”, according to Drs. Karl Pootle and Yumble Frick, co-authors of the study. The analysis is expected to have profound implications on the theoretical underpinnings of many popular religions.
The study, entitled “Universe: Made By Whom How?”, was commissioned by an interfaith consortium of world religious leaders seeking to develop a comprehensive scientific foundation for various fundamentally compatible theories of creation, theories that until recently had been little more than matters of faith with no objective scientific underpinning. The Universe Made By Whom How data was intended by its sponsors to be a “Mother of All Bombs” in the ongoing war on evolution, according to Dr. Frick.
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“If you’re one guy designing a universe, why come up with twenty different ways of tackling the same issue?” Pootle said. “If you’re omnipotent, presumably you know perfectly well whatever the one solution is that will work best, and you go with that. The fact that the world obviously doesn’t work that way is what led us first to the committee theory. The plants and animals that inhabit the Earth show the kinds of random and incoherent thinking that can only otherwise be found in the products of design committees where there’s a lot of CYA and turf protection going on.”
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