So.....About last night.

[Scout1071]

People, please, be truthful.

Last night I go out with friends and I end up meeting a friend of a friend. We hit it off. Mentally, physically, all of it. Laughing, talking, flirting all night. Gently touching my arm and the small of my back. Buying me a drink and generally giving me full attention all night and then inviting me to meet him tonight....where he is playing guitar/singing at a rather reputable restaurant in my city. I should note that we met while seeing friends of mine that were playing - and they are fabulous, professional musicians. So, I grab my neighbor, who loves said restaurant, and we head down there tonight to see him "play." In my mind, I was thinking it was a "win-win" because the restaurant is terrific and you know....he's hot...and a liberal!

So, I get down there tonight and he's already on "stage." It's a fabulous French restaurant with an incredible Happy Hour and beyond. We order a bottle of wine ( Chateauneuf-du-Pape 2001, muscles in white wine, and an assorted cheese/fruit) and settle in for the show.

Friends.....he is awful. There we were. High expectations. Hot guy. Single. Great taste. French restaurant. Spectacular French wine. And he is horrible.

It was a jump the shark moment. Thankfully, we were in a rather dark corner and I never even had to let him know I was there. I'm certain that he didn't see me and thankful to keep it that way. I can't imagine what I would have to say and I doubt the restaurant will keep him around long.

Was it wrong for me to be there and never acknowledge that I'd met him and hit it off the night before? It was like a Seinfeld episode where you know there is no turning back in the dating world. I just couldn't date somebody in their '30's who was so piss poor at singing/playing guitar and still trying to do it publicly. I mean, as a girlfriend of a musician, you have to believe.

And as hot as he was.......he was horrible. Bad.

Is that wrong?

[hfojvt]

1. it would not bother me, but

a) I am a dilettante in spirit anyway
b) everyone has different tastes as to what "horrible" is. For instance, I cannot stand Janis Joplin, Robert Plant, Rod Stewart, Garth Brooks, or Mick Jagger.

and, of course,
c) beggars should not be choosers (but that's just me)

That is exactly like a Seinfeld episode as one of Jerry's girlfriends dumps him and she says "I saw your act, and, quite frankly, you just aren't funny."

[Scout1071]

3. Gracias....Seinfeld-esh for sure....

No harm, no foul.

Just didn't work out.

[HEyHEY]

2. Just a little shallow

[Scout1071]

4. I respectfully disagree.

Music is passion and vice versa. If I'm not feeling somebody's music, I don't think I can rightfully feel their passion. Definitely not longterm.

Not shallow.....just real.

[HEyHEY]

5. Okay, how about overly idealisitc?

[hfojvt]

7. "Well, if you don't mind my saying so ...

there's not a man alive
who can hope to measure up
to that blend of Paul Bunyan, St. Pat and Noah Webster
you've concocted for yourself
out of your Irish imagination
and Iowa stubbornness
and your library full of books!"
Marian's mom

[Scout1071]

10. Call it what you will.

I was surprised as well. But a short day later and a little more of a peek into the person and I have to tell you....not as appealing.

Shallow? Whatever. That's what dating is all about. You put yourself out there and you either hit it off or you don't. I found him interesting enough to put myself out there tonight and upon further inspection, it simply wouldn't work out.

I'm not shallow, I know what I like. And I enjoy good wine, good food and good music. What the hell is wrong with that?

I feel like I would have had to be phoney with him about liking his "act" when I actually thought it was awful. I live in a city with great live music and this.....was beyond short of those standards. I assure you that we weren't the only patrons who noticed how bad he was...and he did tell me last night that he had just be granted the "gig" last week.

The long and short is yes....I am somewhat of a self-admitted snob when it comes to food and wine, but I'm not shallow. I do appreciate the finer things and I don't see a damn thing wrong with it, but I respect and have friends from the entire spectrum of the human race and I have extensively traveled among the world.

[HEyHEY]

11. Hey, you asked

I told. I didn't say you were shallow, I said the action is somewhat shallow.

[BikeWriter]

6. So..... does this stinking musician have a day job?

:shrug:

[LeftyMom]

8. I think you're in the right, here

How crushed would he be if he fell for you and then found out that you don't believe in his talent and by extension in him? How would you feel giving up time for his performances if you don't find them worthwhile?

It'd never work.

[Scout1071]

12. Thank you LeftyMom.

I have dated several musicians, including one very full time, accomplished musician. I know what it takes to date a musician. Especially one who performs full-time and travels. You have to be dedicated and truly love what they do, because they play music 24/7.

This "musician" was an amateur to the max, in his '30's. Indeed he is back in college. As a matter of fact, that is how I met him. I went to a live show last night with an accomplished band. They had a very good friend of mine on stage for about 1/2 their show. This friend also happened to be a PhD Prof at the "musician's" university.

So, last night, we met, hit it off, and that was that.

Sometimes it just happens.

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. Could it be

that you find it hard to respect someone who fronts himself as a musician when you think he's not qualified?

If that's not it, use it anyway. It sounds respectable. :crazy:

[Scout1071]

14. Actually, that is a lot of it.

I have dated true musicians. Accomplished, full-time musicians.

And he.....will never be a full-time, paid musician.

Sorry, I've been spoiled. And I know that as a girlfriend of a guitar/bass/mandolin/banjo/piano/violin/steel guitar/drums player that you get tired of hearing the same damn "lick" over and over and over again. That's what musicians do to get their shit right. And it's awesome to hear it on stage when they are hitting their stride. But, when you hear it at home, millions of times, you better be with a damn good musician. Cause otherwise, it will drive you crazy.

[proud2BlibKansan]

20. LOL I married a drummer I know EXACTLY what you mean

To this day, the song Cocaine makes me ill because a friend of ours sat in our living room one day and tried to learn it. He was not a good guitar player. It took hours, he sucked, never did get it right. I was ready to scream when he finally gave up. My husband and I still laugh about that.

[BigMcLargehuge]

13. ever stand on a stage to entertain people? It's hard and very scary.

It's a shame that a bad set will so put you off someone with whom you felt a connection. Maybe he was struck with stage fright. Maybe he had a bad night. Maybe he's just getting started. Maybe a little support would make him a better musician. Hell, we're all learning.

:shrug:

[Scout1071]

15. Yes, I have.

And it is scary.

Like I said, I understand what it's like to put yourself out there. I didn't feel it tonight. I appreciate seeing him put himself out there, but I was not feeling it.

I actually could have been shallow and brushed it off because of the looks and physical connection, but I chose to bow out gracefully and disappear. It wasn't going to work out.

[proud2BlibKansan]

22. Maybe he really DID suck

Just sayin . . . :evilgrin:

[amitten]

16. Dump him.

The image of his frightening singing will pop into your head during sex.



:scared: You KNOW it will!!!!!!

[Wetzelbill]

18. hahaha

too funnee :)

[Wetzelbill]

17. hey if you don't feel it you don't feel it

If you have a passion for music and somebody is a musician who isn't very good, well, it's bound to turn you off. It could be cute and funny in a way I guess, but not if he's never gets that he's not that good. You know, if you were with him and he looked for you to believe in him it would be downright impossible and dishonest for you to pretend that you liked his music. It would be one thing if he wasn't trying to do it publicly, I suppose. Maybe you're being shallow, I don't know. But, maybe it would be shallow of you to like him for his looks when you don't respect his talent, or lack of it in this case. I'm a writer and I have taken classes in which I have run into a few women who can seriously write like nobody's business. That's a major turn on, the intellect and creativity that goes into their abilities. That passion is a wonderful connection for love or even friendships. No use pretending if that belief or that passion isn't there. It may be best that you got out of there without running into an awkward situation.

[Scout1071]

19. Dearest Bill.....thank you for that...

I'm not hatin' on him personally. It's just that I found his "act" so be oh-so bad that I could never respect him as a musician. My musician friends would be gratious, but in a pitiful way.

It just wasn't meant to be and I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of having to say "yea.....great show", when I really didn't mean it.

[Wetzelbill]

24. you're welcome

definitely not personal. It just wasn't going to work out in the end.

Remind me not to ever flirt with you one night and then sing karaoke the next. Not good. :)

[proud2BlibKansan]

21. No you did the right thing

What place was this - I want to avoid wasting an evening there. :)

[Scout1071]

23. Actually, I highly recommend it.

Just not on Thursdays between 5-7! They have a great happy hour if you want to sample French food and "OK" wine on a budget. We went a little overboard with our wine, but the happy hour is great.

It's very casual, but exquisite food and service. If you don't mind splurging on a dinner for two (including wine and dessert) for $200-250, I highly recommend. And that is splurging. HOWEVER, you can more than comfortably feed two with all the wine you can drink for about $30 during their happy hour special.

Place? Le Fou Frog. www.lefoufrog.com

[proud2BlibKansan]

26. Not far from where I work

and my husband's band played at a place right around the corner from there in October. I love that area.

[obxhead]

25. So everything is all good except for the tunes....

Sounds like a bad reason to be completely turned off.

I understand, mind ya... but no one will ever be completely PERFECT... :)