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I'm sure you all get spates of rejection letters, so I would like to share a little something my mother wrote is response.
Actually, it's about ten years old, and, while I'm sure that you've seen versions of these floating around the Internets, this one is the official version published and sanctioned by Society of Childrens' Book Writers and Illustrators, and very possibly the original.
With Regret... by *ZombieNixon's Mother*
Dear Editorial Staff, Children's Books: Thank you for your careful review of my manuscript, and for your considered rejection of it. Although your accompanying letter seemed to be intended for someone by the name of "Contributor," the envelope was addressed to me, so I have taken the liberty of appropriating the entire contents. Your rejection letter was very thoroughly reviewed, and it is with regret that I find myself unable to accept it. It is just not right for my collection. You must understand that I receive dozens of such letters in my weekly correspondence, and it is very difficult to accept every single one. I therefore return it herewith. I wish you the best of luck with any future rejection letters you send out. Not all authors think alike, and perhaps you will have better luck elsewhere. Best wishes,
Anne E. Author
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