Do you believe in soul mates?

[TheProphetess]

I've never been a believer in the idea that there is one specific person out there who is meant for each of us. I do believe, however, that there are people you meet who match you very well and with whom a relationship can be wonderful - a true partner. What are your thoughts on the subject of soul mates?

BTW, this popped into my head because I was thinking about how lucky I am to have found EstimatedProphet as my partner. We just go together so well that it's almost scary sometimes (that's not to say that relationships aren't work but our compatibility stuns me sometimes). Still, I don't truly believe that we are "soul mates" because I don't buy into the "there's one person out there for you - good luck finding him or her" idea. Anyway, random weekend thoughts...:)

[supernova]

1. I believe in soul mates

but I believe that for every individual there are probably a good many people who could be a soul mate.

I think it's quite limiting and naive to limit yourself by saying "there's ONLY one!" There are too many people in the world to have that be true.

I think our job is to fine only one of these people. If you find it a couple of times in your life, then you are truly blessed.

[TheProphetess]

4. I think that's a better way of looking at things

but it's funny how many people I know who talk about their spouses/partners as their one true soul mate and that they would have found each other (I guess through destiny) no matter what. That's always sounded strange to me.

Anyway, thanks for sharing. :hi:

[liberalitch]

2. Not soul mates, but love first sight.....

it happened to the commie and me 10 years ago and I haven't killed him yet.

[TheProphetess]

7. Excellent!

EP and I had an "attraction/connection at first sight" that sort of surprised me. I felt like I had known him for years and I knew I wanted to get to know him better. It's nice when that happens. :)

[liberalitch]

9. and apparently (as you're still "on the outside" too)....

You haven't killed him yet either.
That says something....

[TheProphetess]

12. That's true, although it's only been 3 years

that we've been together. (We've been married only 4 months.)

And just in case, to paraphrase wisdom from my sister, "I've seen enough CSI episodes and murder movies to the point that I'm sure I could hide the body and leave no evidence behind to implicate me." :evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

3. Yes, but I can see cases where soul orgasms would be hard to come by...

You know; if you are hetero but your soulmate is the same gender... schtuff like that. :7

Still, anything's worth a shot... O8)

[TheProphetess]

8. Point taken

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

5. Yes, I believe in soul mates, but mine changed her mind.

[TheProphetess]

10. I'm sorry to hear that

Thanks for sharing. :hug:

[BikeWriter]

66. Thank you. Yes, that can leave a cavernous pit in one's chest.

[wildhorses]

6. there are soulmates (plural) and then there is your

twin soul of which there is only one....


not to say that you can't work things out and have love for a partner who is not a soulmate or your twin soul....

[TheProphetess]

11. Yes, but can you make it as fulfilling

as it would be with your twin soul? Do you think there are people out there in relationships who are comfortable but who could have something profound with the "right" person?

[wildhorses]

16. yes, I do think that....

I think you can go your whole life and be happy and content but, there will be no denying the spark if you were to come in contact with your twin soul.

[tjwmason]

13. No I don't.

I think that the relationship between two people is far too complex.

[TheProphetess]

14. Exactly

The complexity of human behavior, in general, is something that people often overlook.

[Shine]

15. Here's my take on the subject:

Too many people are running around looking for "that perfect partner"....outside of themselves. All of the esoteric terms (soul mate, twinsouls, twin flames, whatever) and definitions tend to put most people more in their heads and less in their hearts. The true soulmate is a state of consciousness, not a person. You may even be with your perfect mate and dislike each other intensely, failing one of the main tests of your life.

The purpose of a love relationship is to set your sights on love, rather than the relationship. The test of every marriage is to come to love love, more than to love the person. That love comes from your heart, the deepest center of your being. Love is a feeling, a radiation of light, a presence. It is not a personality. When you touch upon love, you are touching your soulmate. It all happens within you, the merging of your soul with your spirit, the merging of who you thought you were with who you really are. In the realm of the heart you then see with the eyes of God. All things and persons are seen for what they are----light-infused and love-permeated.

Deep thoughts on a Sunday morning....and I'm only into my first cup o' coffee. heheh. :hi:

[TheProphetess]

24. Wow - that is deep!

Thanks for making my brain work hard on a Sunday! :hi:

[Orangepeel]

17. sort of -- soul mates are made, not meant

Soul mates are two people who are both "ready," who have similar goals and values, and who want to and choose to merge their lives and their souls.

Soul mates are soul mates because they choos to be, not because they are predestined to be.

[TheProphetess]

25. That's the way I view things

A bit outside of the traditional view of the "soul mates" definition.

[Spacemom]

18. I believe that

my husband and I are soul mates, for this lifetime. I don't know if we wind up together throughout eternity. I know that right here, right now we are meant to be together.

[TheProphetess]

26. What a great feeling

It's nice to be in that place. :)

[Heidi]

19. Who says a soulmate is just one specific person?

I believe I have several. I've been honored to be part of several soulmate relationships for decades.

[bicentennial_baby]

20. agreed

:)

[Heidi]

21. .

I'm not surprised you get it, gf. :hug:

[TheProphetess]

28. Absolutely - if you can find it twice (or more), then all the better

I'm very happy for the three of you - it's nice to see love and happiness surround people. :hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

33. awwww, thank you so much!

seriously! :hug:

[TheProphetess]

27. Actually, I was waiting for someone to make that point

I don't necessarily believe in the "one person for one person" notion of relationships but that seems to be the traditional way people talk about the idea of soul mates.

[LynzM]

50. Heidi, did you ever read Anne of Green Gables?

And if so, do you mean the kind of people referred to there as "kindred spirits"? Just curious, that's what came to mind when I read your post!

[Cathyclysmic]

22. the jury is out on this question..

I don't think there happens to be one person, but with all the coincidences and so called luck that went into the Beast Man and I getting together, it does make wonder if there is a bigger picture.

[TheProphetess]

29. Understood

To me, there were so many different things that could have kept EP and I from meeting in the first place - it seems so meant to be. Of course, EP would say that life is full of those random-like events and that it shouldn't be any different when it comes to meeting one's partner in life.

Like you said, it makes you wonder...

[LeftyMom]

23. It depends on what you're asking.

Do I believe that the universe is organized in such a way that we're all matched up two by two, like the animals loaded onto the ark, by some benevolent and incurably romantic deity? Uhm, no.

On the other hand, there are what, 6.5 billion humans or something like that? Chances are there's somebody out there who's a close enough match that romantic sorts could use the phrase "soul mate" but chances are also pretty good that that person speaks only Mandarin and you'll never meet. :silly: Luckily in such a populous world there's probably any number of people who have enough in common with you to live a very happy life together, should you encounter eachother at the right phase in your lives and be ready for such a relationship.

I do honestly believe that we're not ready for a romantic relationship until we're capable of living happily without one, so to me the key isn't to keep one's eye out for one's soul mate, but to work on being whole and healthy should you ever cross paths.

[TheProphetess]

30. Couldn't have said it better myself

Excellent point - you have to be happy with yourself before you can ever be happy with another person. I think too many people forget that they must find happiness within first.

On a more data-oriented note, there is a great deal of relationship research suggesting that people form friendships and romantic relationships with people with whom they are close in time and space (called the "propinquity effect"). Of course, the internets add a new dimension to the concept of propinquity. There's a quote that goes something like, "I truly believe that my friends are not the people I like best, they are simply the ones who got there first" (or something to that effect). ;)

[LeftyMom]

31. One nice thing about the internets

Now that we have access to so many more people with interests that coincide with our own (even if they're uncommon or stigmatized in larger society,) there's less incentive to settle.

[Wapsie B]

32. To say that in all the world

there's only that one perfect match for you is a most depressing thought. Some of us have been fortunate to meet a number of these like minded souls. Others have yet to meet one.

[TheProphetess]

38. I agree wholeheartedly

[GOPisEvil]

34. Definitely.

There are people with whom I have an instant relationship with, even if it's eventually platonic.

[TheProphetess]

40. That instant connectedness is a weird but very cool thing

I'll admit that my best friend (of 24 years) feels like my soul sister.

[qnr]

35. What's really wierd is that you found someone to perfectly compliment

your own user name.

Truth is, indeed, stranger than fiction.

<crunch>mmmmm celery<crunch>

[TheProphetess]

36. ROFL!

:rofl:
That's damn funny!

[enigmatic]

37. yes

I've met mine, and she's my everything:)

[TheProphetess]

42. Good for you!

:hi:

[RevCheesehead]

39. Nope.

[Radical Activist]

41. "soul mates" is Disney movie BS

I swear that several of my relationships would have been so much easier if young girls weren't indoctrinated by crap in Disney movies.

[TheProphetess]

43. Ah yes, the fairy tale syndrome

"and they lived happily ever after" is cute and all but far too many people believe that a relationship should be a breeze and should not require compromise and work, too. That's got to be hard to live up to!

[Radical Activist]

44. Almost as bad as "love means never saying you're sorry"

What kind of crap is that? Love is being willing to say sorry first and saying it whenever needed. Anyway, that's all good reason for me to date women who aren't too young. Thanks for indulging my rants.

[TheProphetess]

45. UGH!

That one gets me too! What a bizarre representation of relationships we get from movies.

[u4ic]

46. I think of soul mates as people

from whom you learn from, profoundly; beyond the ordinary.

Whether you have a romantic relationship with them is another story.

[TheProphetess]

48. Good point

I feel very much connected to my best friend with whom I grew up. Nothing romantic but very sisterly.

[SlavesandBulldozers]

47. I used to believe it. Now i think it's not true.

Amazing the changes a month can bring.

[TheProphetess]

49. I hope everything's ok

I'm sorry if you've had a bad experience. Here are some good vibes for ya...:hug:

[SlavesandBulldozers]

68. i appreciate that immensely.

i need all the good vibes I can get. :hug:

[Ellen Forradalom]

51. There might possibly be

Whether that person can stay in your life is another question.

[TheProphetess]

55. Or whether you find that person is still another question

[LynzM]

52. Soul mates, not exactly

But people who are meant to cross paths in time and space? Kind of. I didn't until I met Briarius... and he had dreamed about me before we ever met, and dreamed a situation that actually happened later in time. He didn't tell me about the exact situation until after it happened, but suffice it to say, he was acting oddly enough after it happened that I believed him. Also, the first time we hung out, I felt very angry, almost, that he was wearing his then-girlfriend's ring on a necklace. A totally bizarre feeling, for someone you've just met. Helped, too, that we could sit down and talk for four hours about everything and nothing :) That part, I don't think is some kind of destiny, but a meshing of like-mindedness and interests. It's a good thing.

That said, I don't think there is one magical person out there who is the only person who will ever 'complete' someone, things like that. But I think there are certainly instances where people bond on a very deep level very quickly, and I feel very lucky to have that experience!

[TheProphetess]

56. What a good story

Such strange "coincidences" some people experience (in a good way). It's great that you have that! :)

[LynzM]

59. Yeah, it's pretty wild

Wild that we met (abroad), and wild about the pre-dreaming. There've been other instances. Pretty cool, IMO.

Glad you have good stuff going on for you two, as well! :hi:

[StaggerLee]

53. I believe it is true for some but not all

I honestly think that there is not one assigned to me but I'm ok with that.

:hi:

[TheProphetess]

57. Perhaps there isn't "one" assigned to you

But several with whom you will eventually collide (perhaps not soul mates but kindred spirits). :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

54. I do, in that I think that it is possible to have a connection

with another that is deeper and stronger than you have with anyone else. No, you don't always meet that person, or you meet them later in life, or maybe you're with someone else when that person comes along. But I absolutely believe that there is someone with whom you can have that unique, strong connection.

And as others have said (whether they believe in soul mates or not), it's about the ways in which you match each other. But what truly makes it special IS the connection that is between the two of you.

Personally, I like the word "other", which I got from "The Butcher's Wife." Demi Moore's character believes that we each have our "other" out there. Yeah, it's Hollywood, but it's certainly a nice thought.



:loveya:

[TheProphetess]

58. I forgot about that movie

I do wholeheartedly believe in people with whom we are connected. You meet them and it just fits. You know that you will have that person in your life (not necessarily as a romantic partner) no matter what.

[SeattleGirl]

60. And the connection is hard to put into words, isn't it?

To try to describe it is to somewhat diminish it, I think. You just know it's there; it's not a forced feeling at all. And yes, I think you can have that connectedness with friends too. But if you have it with your wife/husband/partner, wow! That's the best, I think.

[TheProphetess]

62. Yeah, it's weird

And I feel like when I talk about it, I sound as though I'm talking about "soul mates" when really I'm not. When EP and I met, there was this profound connection between us and I can't really describe it exactly. But I felt like I already knew him and that I knew the kind of man he was - just from our initial introduction. It really blew me away. I've never had anything quite like that happen. Still today (3 years later), I sometimes am amazed by things we do to respond to one another or things that are exactly alike.

My family gets weirded out because he and I have the same sense of humor, which is off-the-wall to begin with - now multiple that by two! I guess it can be annoying (heehee). ;)

[SeattleGirl]

64. I love your story, Prophetess

And I "get it" totally. :hug:

[TheProphetess]

65. Ah, shucks, thanks

:hug:

[Hoooweee]

61. don't believe in a soul, ergo...

[TheProphetess]

63. 'nuf said

except "welcome to DU" :hi:

[Hoooweee]

67. merci

I've been around for a while. I just changed my name.

[anarch]

69. I am ambivalent on this one

What about this question: assuming there is such a thing as a soul mate, what if that person makes a really lousy life-partner?

[TheProphetess]

71. That would suck

But it's an interesting question...:)

[fishwax]

70. I guess I probably believe in soul mates

but not the "one person and only one out there for you" part of the equation. Maybe that seems inconsistent, but I'm okay with that :)

[TheProphetess]

72. The truth is it's open to interpretation

Nothing wrong with yours. :hi:

[robbedvoter]

73. Yeah, since I found him.

[TheProphetess]

77. That's lovely

:)

[usedtobesick]

74. yes... yes I do.

[Rabrrrrrr]

75. Yep. I believe in soul mates, but in the plural - not one-for-one

but many-for-many.

[sendero]

76. It's hard to believe in soul mates..

... until you find one. Then it becomes easy. :)

[TheProphetess]

78. True dat

:)