Can sloppy women ever get along with a neat freak guy?

[leftyladyfrommo]

Is it possible?

Can I change?

Can I learn to be better?

Or is it completely hopeless.

And why are all the guys I like neat freaks? I thought guys were supposed to be the slobs of the world.

[RandomKoolzip]

1. Lotsa women get along with slobby guys.

There's just that looming tension stemming from hygenic persnickety-ness, which you can transcend via really good sex.

[leftyladyfrommo]

4. Haven't gotten that far yet.

I guess I should have figured this all out when I found out he owns a laundromat - huh?

Know what else is wierd: I read all the time. I don't think he reads at all. But I cannot do puzzles - just don't have that kind of mind. And he can just sit down and do the daily crossword puzzle.

Don;t you think that is odd?

[RandomKoolzip]

7. Not at all....my wife and I have the exact same relationship, except with

the sexes reversed. She does crosswords all day while I read books about politics all day. I'm a slob, she cleans with a vengeance.

But there's a core of trust and respect and care that's there that transcends our differences.

[FuzzySlippers]

2. He's the one who needs to change

and learn to be better.:D

[leftyladyfrommo]

3. Don;t think that is going to happen.

He isn't even aware that he's a neat freak.

[Nikia]

5. If he doesn't mind being the one who picks up

That's how a lot of relationships that are the reverse go.

[crispini]

6. Yes. Learn to enjoy the neatness of the house.

I wish I had a neat-freak living with me. I'm only marginally neat, but I'd love to be neater. :shrug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. in my experience guys are tidier, women are cleaner

and yes you will both have to adjust..buts its possible

[scarlet_owl]

9. You're lucky.

I'm a slob and I married a slob. Our house is always a dump.

[DS1]

10. Run like hell

Neat-freaks are bad news.

[leftyladyfrommo]

11. Well, that was true of my ex SO's

I should have run like hell.

But then I would have spent my whole life all alone.

[Cats Against Frist]

12. Oh, lord, sister -- you just rung my bell!

I'm a VERY messy individual -- I'm getting better, and have maintained a standard of hygiene, since I became a mother. However, I've always been very cluttery, absent-minded and liberal with the condition of my surroundings.

I've had two long-term, live-in boyfriends. They both hate the mess, but love/loved me so much that they have/had stayed. The first was for seven years. The current one has been for five.

I think for this situation to exist, one has to be of a dominant/assertive personality type, and the boyfriends must be more passive/aggressive. My boyfriends definitely felt/feel like they had/have no real right to speak up, because it's hard to leave someone you love, because they're not "neat." However, let me make this clear: neither of the boyfriends were ever compelled to be particularly romantic, lap-doggish, "my bitch," etc. The first one, moreso, but the second one is an alcoholic. The first suffered from low self-esteem, and the second from depression -- it was always more of a matter of that they hated the mess, but couldn't quite get worked up enough about it to care.

And, I should point out, that neither of them were "neat freaks," -- they just don't like a trashed place. However, I should add that BOTH of their mothers were EXTRAORDINARILY TIDY. Even though one is rich, and the other was poor, they were both that "oh, let me do it," kind of mother, who like bakes, does all the laundry, sews, has a database, etc. I cook -- I just don't clean it up, until about three days later.

Anyway, it has put a strain on my relationships, but, I've gotten progressively better, to a point where I believe that I'm tolerable -- though still not what most people would consider a respectful level of neatness. My boyfriends just hide clean plates and forks in a cabinet.

And, I might add -- if anyone leaves you because you're not tidy enough, unless it's unhygienic, they aren't the person you want to be with, anyway.

[leftyladyfrommo]

13. Good for You;.

[supernova]

14. I always tell people I'm saving for a Butler

:-)

Seriously, I'm not the domestic type. I have limited energy so, certain things don't always get done. But I live by myself, so. :shrug: