The 2005 version of the $200 hammer

[jmowreader]

Back when Ronald Reagan was spending money like there was no tomorrow, the Defense Department got nailed for buying $200 hammers.

I got a better one.

Couple of days ago, two GIs came in and asked for a titanium crowbar.

Yes, the first thing I asked is what the hell they were planning to pry that needed a titanium crowbar. "Oh, great big stuff."

I sold 'em a come-along. Titanium crowbar, my ass.

[bertha katzenengel]

1. I love your stories.

This one reminds me of a Jerry Clower story about a general store owner who never rang up a sale without quoting scripture. For example, if a little kid bought a tootsie roll, he'd say, "Suffer the little children to come unto me." The old guys sitting around the store always waited with amusement to hear what scripture he'd quote.

One day a guy rolled in in a big expensive truck, pulling a shiny horse trailer. He walked into the store and said "I've got a prize-winning horse out there and I need the best horse blanket you have."

The store owner went into the back and brought out a horse blanket, and said, "That'll be five dollars."

The customer said, "I don't think you heard me. That is a prize thoroughbred out there, from one of the best bloodlines in this country and probably all the world. He deserves the BEST blanket!"

The store owner went out back again and picked out another blanket - he only had but one kind in stock - of a different color. He took it out and told the man, "this one is better quality, twenty-five dollars."

Now the customer was indignant. "You just don't get it. I'm not putting a cheap ol' $25 blanket on that horse! Now get me the best or I'll go elsewhere!"

The store owner said "yes, sir, I understand," and went to the shelf in back, choosing yet a different color. He took it out and said, "this is the best blanket I have, sir, and it's fifty dollars."

"Now that's more like it!" said the customer. "I'll take it."

The store owner rung up the sale, and as the customer walked out, the old guys sitting around the store waited to hear what scripture he'd quote for this one.

The owner looked up to heaven and said, "He was a stranger, and I took him in."