My wife's divorcing me because I won't go on a Disney vacation

[Enraged_Ape]

This is no joke. She is 100-percent pissed-off about all this. I know this all sounds stupid, but this night is very close to the worst night of my life.

My wife is going to her attorney friends tomorrow morning (tomorrow morning!))for the divorce papers. She says that I ruin EVERYTHING, and that I have for many years (since I started reading DU). I tell her that she and I have been to all the stupid Disney events. (And we have. After all, I lived in L.A. for seven years), but it just doesn't matter to her. She wants some fun.

She brought home a damned DVD about all the Disney vacation offerings and forced me to watch it. I told her I thought the Disney/ABC empire DVD was the worst propaganda organ on Earth, and that I found it boring and that I refused to have any part of their nonsense whatsoever. That's when she went completely apeshit. By God, she wants a Disney holiday, and without me if that's what it takes.

Please, please, please help me. I am dead serious about all of this.

[Texasgal]

1. Ummm...why don't you just go?

what's the big deal?

[Enraged_Ape]

3. Umm, maybe because we have no fucking money?

Maybe because we're completely broke?

[Texasgal]

4. Sorry... you didn't mention that in your post...

I'm not a very good mind reader... :)

So, let's back up here, you have no money and she wants to go on a disney vacation.... ??? Sounds like it's not the disney vacay that's the issue... sounds like more.

[purr]

10. I hear you on that aspect.

Hubby thinks nothing of blowing money that we dont have. But.. I agree with the other poster saying theres more than just a ruined disney trip. Something else is going on. Did you explain to her the money situation? If shes anything like my hubby, she wont give a rats ass, but will get pissed about why theres not enough to do what he wants. I know that aspect real well.

:hug:

[barb162]

33. I know some people like that; they don't deal with reality really well

[flvegan]

2. What? Hold on...

divorce over NOT going to Disney? Sounds like there's a LOT more to this than a "ruined" Disney outing.

I will agree with you about the DVD, though.

[Enraged_Ape]

6. And you would be right, if we hadn't already seen...

the two-dozen hand-carved singing chimpmunks.

[flvegan]

12. But to throw the "divorce" gauntlet out there

over such a thing...

Either there are HUGE underlying problems, or she's (sorry to be blunt) trying to manipulate you...

[pitohui]

28. ho-kay now i suspect a leg pull

you had me going for a minute

[yvr girl]

5. Disneyland is not the issue

You have to find out what you're really fighting about.

[dubyaD40web]

49. You're right yvr girl

Something else is going on.

[prolesunited]

7. Simple solution

Separate vacations. If she wants to go so badly, let her. It's good to sometimes have separate interests and time apart.

But, I suspect even if she doesn't get her Disney vacation, it will not solve all of your problems.

Did you suggest an alternative that would be fun for both of you? Are you neglecting her by concentrating too much on politics and spending too much time on DU?

[B Calm]

11. My wife is upset at me because I've been petting my cat all day,

I think she's jealous..

[prolesunited]

14. Well, why don't you give her some attention tonight?

I bet you could make her purr, too, if you wanted. ;-)

[Susang]

16. Meow!

Bad Kitty! :evilgrin:

[prolesunited]

20. Fancy seeing you here

I trust you're feeling better. :hi:

[B Calm]

8. I heard today that Disney has a cheap labor work force!

[ContraBass Black]

9. If anyone would even say the word "Divorce," you have a much

bigger problem than a vacation.

[AlCzervik]

13. This doesn't sound like something she pulled out of the blue, sounds

like she's been thinking about this for a long time imo.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

17. That's what I think too ...

[hfojvt]

15. ruining everything (mainly every fun thing)

that sounds to me like irreconcilable differences. If your opinion is considered a wet blanket or something that will ruin everything, that is not good. You need to find something fun that you both agree on, preferrably something affordable.

[B Calm]

18. You should have bought her a fishing pole for Christmas!

[dpbrown]

19. Sign off of DU and figure out if you've got anything in common

If you don't, or if DU taught you something and she's still a winger, then you might be headed for irreconcilable differences lane.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

21. I bet it's NOT about Disney at all

She's been planning to dump you for a long time, and this is just the first excuse she's been able to come up with.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

37. Bingo

[Straight Shooter]

22. Does she have a habit of picking a fight so she can lower the boom?

It sounds premeditated to me, especially since she must have known what your decision would be.

Any time someone says to another, "You ruin everything," then their objective is not to find a solution but rather to make you feel like crap. Well, it's apparently mission accomplished.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I have zero tolerance for game-playing, so I'm no good in the advice department. I wish you luck and a good outcome, somehow.

[DawgHouse]

23. I am sorry you are going through this.

I doubt that problem is that you won't go to Disney. If she says you "ruin everything" it may mean she feels you don't consider her feelings.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

24. Wow. She's a little psycho...

And childish...I'm thinking you might be better off without her.
Duckie

[WritingIsMyReligion]

25. Sounds like there's more than a Disney vacation going on here.

Underlying problems, anyone?

Whatever the issue, I hope you can resolve it, and not with divorce papers. Good luck, E_A.

:hug:

[evlbstrd]

26. From one monster to another,

get the hell out of there. Now.

[pitohui]

27. christ dude just go to damn disney

why do you have to be so controlling?

disney is 3 grand, divorce is 300 grand, it's the pragmatic choice

if disney is her hobby, disney is her hobby, be glad, i would make you go to vegas and if you think disney is fake and evil i shudder to think!

[eyesroll]

29. Where did you get divorced for 300 grand?

Hell, where did you get 300 grand to begin with?

My divorce cost less than a trip to Disney.

[pitohui]

30. heh you need a better lawyer

i am a woman, the point of the divorce is to cost the dude $300 grand

i am not divorced, my hub would not dare :-)

actually, it's the old joke w. updated numbers, remember love is grand, divorce is 100 grand

[barb162]

31. Okay does she want to go to CA or Florida or what?

For how many days. Look if it is to Pasadena for 3 days and a fairly easy drive from NM I would do it. If she wants to take a DIsney cruise in the best cabin category or go to Orlando and stay at the Grand Floridian that's another story and can really run into some heavy money.

[noamnety]

32. I wonder what she thinks happens at Disney

They have some rides ... but so do other amusement parks.
They have people dressed up as characters, but they are just actors.

That's pretty much it. I'd rather go to another country and experience their actual culture, rather than go to Epcot and see people dressed in fake ethnic costumes in a building with faux finishes designed to look like another country's architecture.

My sister-in-law is obsessed with all things Disney, and I find it excessively creepy, particularly in a grown woman.



Alright, so that's not a helpful post. But I really am curious why she thinks Disney is Mecca. It's a commercial venture, for chrissakes.

[barb162]

35. I really like Disney but haven't been to Orlando in ten years

It's perfection. Everything is clean, the fountains are fun, the landscaping is beautiful...it's a wonderful make believe world: shop, eat, have fun, look at pretty things from around the world all in one place, etc.

[auntAgonist]

34. please

log off DU and TALK to your wife. Get some counselling or some mediation. This isn't about Disney.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

36. I second the sign off of DU motion...

You guys seriously need to talk; and if she's resentful of the time you spend on the 'puter, hanging out here will not help you.

I hope things work out for you two... :hug:

[DesertRat]

38. Sorry that you're going through this

Does she have a friend or family member who would want to go with her? My husband doesn't care much for Disneyland but my teenaged daughter and I love it. So we go just the two of us once or twice a year.
If you can't afford the vacation, then that's a different issue. Hope it all works out for you.

[cally]

39. Time to apologize

I'm serious. You missed some clues about what is important to her. Maybe she's upset because you both are spending too much time on serious issues. Discussing your lack of money, politics, chores, or whatever. Maybe the Disney vacation seems like an escape from the mundane and serious to her. Find out what's bothering her and discuss ways you can both find some fun things to do together. Good luck and I'm sorry this happened to you. :hug:

[KoKo]

40. Bad Planet Configurations! Stress! I threw salt on Hubbies head last

night at Christmas dinner. Went into a rage because he sprinkled salt on my dinner which was perfect and didn't need salt but because his Mom never used salt on food he got used to shaking it on everything. He shook salt on my dinner and I flew into a rage and dumped a salt box open on his head.

I'm embarrassed I did that...don't know what got into me and it's not typical. He took it in good stride because he loves me...but that made me even angrier. I threated to leave him because he didn't see a difference between myself and his MOTHER!

This doesn't happen between us...but it's the Planets. There are Grand Trines and Grand Crosses out there and it's all on Bushies Head and the US and on us. It's STRESS...Believe me on this. No one is acting normally these days. We are all "over the edge" and "OTT" these days.

I hope this helps and you patch it all up...we need to deal and realize that what's going on is temporary.

Just my 2 Cents comments....but given that I just had a bizarre incident in my house...with my very happy marriage where I became an ogre/shrew...I thought I'd pass it along.

PS...Both I and Hubby have been feeling stressed because there's not enough fantasy fun...like Disney stuff...it's all work and politics. And, we both are Progressive Democrats...but have been spending too much time on Bush stuff. I think both of us are feeling the frustration...but there are Astrology sites which explain that this holiday is like a Mega Stress of all time. We are all lucky if we can get through it.

And, I do Love My Hubby too much...to have dumped salt on his head. :-( I still feel dreadful about it....

[bleedingheart]

47. memo to self...never accept dinner invite to Koko01's house

;-)

[MrSlayer]

41. Sounds reasonable to me.

Anyone who doesn't like Disney has something evil deeply rooted in their soul. I can't wait to go back in August.

[LibertyLover]

42. I like Disney vacations too,

but if my husband didn't want to take one, I wouldn't divorce him over it. We've been 3 times this year and are going again in February, but if we don't go for another several years after that, it will be fine too. Honestly, it sounds to me, as some other posters have also said, that there is something else going on with your wife. It sounds like this was either the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, or an easy excuse for something long planned. Either way, I truly am sorry and hope that all works out for the best for you.

[mitchum]

43. Sorry you are going through this, Enraged Ape

I also loath Disney, and even hated their offerings when I was a little kid.
I sincerely hope this does work out for you.

[6000eliot]

44. What kind of relationship is it

if she can want to end it for so trivial a reason?

[bleedingheart]

46. I suspect it was the straw on the camel's back...

she may be using this as her excuse to end the marriage.

[B Calm]

45. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it! Hell I would like to take

off and go to South Pacific, but we can't afford it! You might do yourself a favor by dumping her before she has you in debtor's prison!

[bleedingheart]

48. when was the last time you two did something together?

I am not talking about spending loads of money...but do the two of you take walks together or spend quality time together frequently?

this Disney thing may have been her way of trying to get you to herself..

hope it isn't headed towards divorce...